


The Radiant Detective of Saishu Academy

by IndiSmile, RK3996



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different Mastermind (Dangan Ronpa), Gen, Major Endgame Spoilers, talent swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 10:50:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13316559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndiSmile/pseuds/IndiSmile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RK3996/pseuds/RK3996
Summary: Tackling every case with the same intensity as when she first began, Miu Iruma always solved every case she took. But that all changes when she wakes up inside of an abandoned school and is told she needs to kill to escape.





	1. The Radiant Detective and the Gentleman Butler

**Author's Note:**

> Miu needs more love and I refuse to wait for when she shows up in dr world.

As a brilliant detective, Miu Iruma often found herself in odd places. Whether it be hiding under a desk, in someone's trunk, or even dumpster diving one time, though that was a case she wanted to forget entirely, she never thought twice about crawling into a small place when the situation called for it. However, that could only be said for situations that Miu willingly put herself into of her own volition. 

So when she woke up in of complete darkness, metal walls encasing her, with no recollection of how she got there, her initial panic was understandable. For a brief moment, she considered kicking whatever she was inside of, before immediately stopping as she lifted her leg. Despite her own instincts telling her otherwise, a part of her feared that she’d somehow been caught by some kinda supervillain and shoved in a deathtrap. 

As far as she remembered, none of her previous cases actually involved shadowy organizations, but since she was well-known as the Ultimate Detective, it is definitely possible that one would want her gone before she went after them.

Immediately, Miu began to, internally, curse her luck. What she had previously seen as blessings, her body and brain, turned out to be nothing more than a curse now that she had some villain out to kill her before she could even try to catch him. Damn her distinctive beauty!

However before she could continue that thought process, light suddenly pierced her eyes as one of the walls surrounding her opened. Blinking at the sudden light, Miu rubbed her eyes before opening them to find a large, green-haired, pony-tailed man that was nearly a foot taller than her standing right in front of her. 

“Ah, so Gonta was rig-”

“AAAAH!” Letting out a battle cry, that was not a cry of fear, Miu brought up her boot clad foot, and slammed it into huge lug’s stomach. Sadly, despite the years of exercise she’d done in case she ever needed to chase down a suspect, or run away from a bad situation, her kick did little else than make the man look concerned and jar her leg from the impact. She winced, her foot actually hurting through the boot. Was he made of concrete or something?!

“Ah, no, there's no need to worry. Gonta isn't going to hurt you. Gonta only wanted to check and see if there was someone else in here.” Raising his hands up in a placating manner, the huge guy backed away. Now with a decent distance between them, Miu was able to get a better look at who she assumed was “Gonta”. 

Wearing a rather expensive looking brown buttoned up tailcoat and matching brown trousers, Gonta looked as if was either some rich dude, or at least a servant to one. Although, his rather kind demeanor, and gentle smile definitely didn't match any other rich person she met, making the servant theory the more likely. 

“Let Gonta introduce himself. Gonta’s name is Gonta Gokuhara. Gonta is the Ultimate Butler, so if you are in need of assistance, you only need to ask… Although Gonta is not sure how much he can help here.” As he spoke, Gonta pushed up his glasses and glanced around the room. Taking a quick moment to look around the room too, Miu found herself staring out at what appeared to be a long abandoned classroom, the thing she’d been trapped in turning out to be locker in the corner of the room. A second locker was next to it, the door very clearly shoved open from the inside. Considering how it was nearly off its hinges, odds were the butler had been trapped in that one.

“You're a butler? Definitely bigger than any I've seen before.” Muttering the last part to herself, Miu smiled up at Gonta. “Well, you're in luck big guy. The name's Miu Iruma, the Ultimate Detective! I'll find out who brought us here and catch that fucker in no time!” 

“Huh? You are an Ultimate as well?” As Gonta asked his question, Miu caught him looking her up and down, either surprised or disbelieving.

“Hey, just cause I don't dress like a prude doesn't mean I’m any less of a detective!” While Miu did wear an inverness cape and a deerstalker cap, just so people knew for sure what her job was, any similarities to other classic detectives ended there. Rather than any form of fancy suit and jacket, she wore a pink dress that reached her thighs and bared her cleavage, a pocket on each side that she had added on it to carry any essentials. Her boots, fingerless gloves, and stockings were also often pointed out by a vast majority of her clients as unfitting for someone in her line of work. 

Of course, she always made sure to gleefully laugh in their faces after she solved their cases. 

“Gonta didn't mean it like that. Gonta has just never met another Ultimate, so Gonta was surprised.” Suddenly, Gonta bowed to her. “Please forgive Gonta for his mistake!” 

“W-Wow, no need to bow big guy.” 

“But Gonta must! As a gentleman, Gonta must always apologize for when he makes a mistake!” 

“F-Fine, I forgive you, okay?” Somewhat surprised at his sincerity, Miu actually felt bad about getting him so weirdly upset. “Let’s just go find whoever brou-” 

“RISE AND SHINE URSINE!” Jumping at the sudden grating voices, Miu turned to find… five bear plushies. 

“...Huh?” 

“Uh… did someone leave their toys out?” asked Gonta, genuinely confused. So any chance of him being intentionally involved in this mess was lowering by the second. Good to know she could probably work with him.

“We’re not the monokubs, we're toys!” shouted the blue one. Loud and brash idiot.

“You got that backwards,” muttered the yellow one. Straight man?

“Hey! You bastards forgot to do our intro!” yelled the pink one. Maybe two straight men then?

“...What was my line?” asked the red one. Absent-minded, so two boke and two tsukkomis?

“...” The last green one remained silent. Hm.

“Okay, hold up, who the fuck are you and what the fuck is the monocucks?!” angrily questioned Miu as she stared down at the bears. 

“Eh?! M-Monocucks?!” stammered the pink one. 

“Wait, you don't remember us?” asked the red one.

“Why the fuck would I remember a bunch of bargain bin bears like you!?” she shouted, watching their reactions.

“Gonta must admit, Gonta doesn't remember anyone who had any bears like you.”

“...Yay! It worked!” Much to her surprise, the red bear began to cheer, the others following suit, aside from the green one. So there was something off about the much more robotic one.

“What worked?! You better tell me now you fucking shit-bears!” shouted Miu as she stomped her non-sore foot.

“Eeeeh!” At her yell, the bears screamed before suddenly disappearing as quickly as they appeared. 

“Hey- GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU BITCH BEARS!” screamed Miu as she began to stomp on the ground again, scowling angrily. They’d scattered too fast for her to see where they’d went, vanishing somewhere.

“Um, Iruma-san, not to be rude, but Gonta is sure they can not hear you. They seemed to move very quickly.” 

Still scowling, Miu looked over the room again, no sign of any hidden entrances anywhere. That didn’t mean they weren’t there, just that they’d closed before she could spot them. “Whatever. It's probably not the last time we'll see them. If they’re the ones who kidnapped us, then they'll show up again, probably just to taunt us.”

“Eh? They're the ones who kidnapped us?” 

“If they're not being controlled by someone unrelated, then yeah. They acted like we met them before and I sure as shit would've remembered meeting those monocucks.” Of course, that only led Miu to question how, or more specifically when, such a thing occurred. It was possible that they had been drugged with something that made them lose any recent memories, but if that was the case, how far back did she forget? She couldn’t seem to recall how-

“So they kidnapped us…” Hearing Gonta mutter to himself, Miu glanced up at him, only to immediately shiver in fear, backing away until she was pressed against a wall. “Then Gonta must take down those bears! As a gentleman and a butler, it is his duty!” His kind demeanor now gone, the once smiling butler scowled as his eyes appeared to turn red. As he clenched his huge fists, Miu wondered for a how his coat didn't immediately rip as his muscles visibly bulged from his angered state. 

“W-Woah, calm down there big guy. Breaking those things won't help anything, they probably got a million in storage, and whoever is in charge won't care if you break one or two!” shouted Miu as she cowered away from him, spitting out a few assumptions in an attempt to get him to calm down. 

“Are you sure?” Frantically nodding. Miu let out a sigh of relief as he calmed down in response, his almost murderous aura of anger fading quickly back to his original demeanor. The huge guy shook his head, looking contrite. “...Gonta is sorry. While he wants to be a gentleman more than anything, Gonta can be scary at times.” 

“You don't need to tell me twice,” muttered Miu as she slowly moved away from the wall. “Just make sure to save that anger for whoever is in charge, okay? No point in wasting it on a two bit comedy troupe.” She glanced at him warily, trying to gauge exactly what had set him off. Having a huge guy with anger issues around her didn’t seem like it would be good for her health, but it did seem easy to convince him to back down again. It could be that he was used to following others’ leads...She’d have to keep an eye on him.

“...Of course.” Smiling again, Gonta smoothed down his coat. “Gonta must make sure that whoever brought us here learns their lesson.”

With that dealt with, Miu considered her options. She could wait there with Gonta until the bears came back, or someone else found them. Her second option would be to go out and find clues to where they were, who brought them here, and how to get out. Really, there was only one option for her.

“Well big guy, I hope you're ready. Cause detective Miu is on the case!”


	2. Meet the Ultimates (part 1)

Like any proper detective, Miu was well aware that she needed to gather information to begin any investigation. As such, the first thing she had to do in this bizarre place was question the only other person in the room. Any information was good information, even if Gonta there didn’t know shit about their situation. Reaching into her dress pocket, she brought out her ever reliable notebook…along with something else. 

“Eh? What the fuck is this shit?” In her hand was a small tablet, one that she’d never seen before. Her immediate hypothesis was that their captors left it with her, but that raised the question of why...

“Oh, Gonta found something like that. Although he is not sure what it is for…” Sheepishly rubbing his head, Gonta looked away from her. “Gonta isn't that great with computers.” Miu glanced at him, already assessing the information he gave her. The fact that they’d both been given tablets meant their captors wanted or needed them to have them. They were here for a reason, but what…?

“Well, no detective ever solved a case by just sitting around with their thumb up their asses, so time to find out what’s up with this thing!” Turning on the pad, the first thing she noticed was her name appearing on the screen, meaning this one was definitely meant for her. The screen soon faded away, several options appearing with the next screen. However, most of them were greyed out, which likely meant Miu couldn’t use them just yet. Experimentally, she tapped one of them and was rewarded with jack shit. “What's the point of giving us a tablet if we can't use most of it?” 

“Maybe we'll be allowed to use them later?” 

“Tch. If that’s the case, I'm not planning on sticking around long enough for it.” Pressing the only option available, she found herself on a screen displaying basic info about her. “Eh!? Who the fuck got this!?” Sure she liked flaunting herself and showing off, but she never told any clients anything specific about her life. She hadn't even gotten a check up recently, so any measurements should’ve been inaccurate...

“Is something wrong Iruma-san?” With concern in his voice, Gonta tried to peer to see what was on the screen. 

“H-Hey, who said you could look?” Backing away she pressed the tablet to her body, not wanting to let him see the information about her. Though….would his tablet have that info too, or was it personalized?

“Sorry! Gonta was just worried.” As he backed away, looking contrite again, Miu nervously checked the tablet again and noticed something above the info. 

At the top of the screen, sixteen silhouettes stood next to one another. Instantly Miu’s blood froze. The fact that there were sixteen silhouettes, one clearly belonging to her and another one almost certainly Gonta’s, meant that there had to be more people involved here...But were they captives? Assuming they were, something she’d need to check, that meant fourteen other people had been brought to this school for some unknown purpose. And, considering how she and Gonta were ultimates, it wasn’t much of a stretch to assume the other fourteen were too.

And, if that was the case, then whoever brought them here was infinitely more dangerous than she’d initially assumed.

“...Hey Gonta, what's the last thing you remember before waking up here?” 

“Huh? Um… Gonta was on his way home to visit his family. His previous master was bringing him home after his contract had finished.” 

“And who exactly was that ‘master’?” 

“Gonta’s last master was the prime minister.” Though Gonta smiled at her as he spoke, she didn’t feel reassured in the slightest. Hell, the possibility that Gonta had somehow been abducted while being escorted by the prime minister and his bodyguards sent a shiver down her spine. Whoever did this had connections, or was brazen enough not to give a shit who they pissed off by kidnapping them. Or both.

“...I see.” Making sure to remember to note that down in her notebook, she headed towards the classroom’s door, deciding she needed more information before she could keep questioning him. “Let's see who else is here.” However, before she could reach the door, Gonta stepped in front of her and opened it up, smiling again.

“After you, Iruma-san.” Seems he really takes the gentleman thing seriously... 

Miu nodded to him before heading out, only to pause as she saw the state of the building around them. The classroom they’d been in already seemed like it’d been long abandoned, but the overgrown state of the rest of the building made it clear no one had set foot in there for at least a decade. 

“This place is in severe need of a gardener. If only Gonta could find some tools.” Judging by the annoyance in his tone, Gonta really didn’t like messes. Good to know. Still, not the time.

“Hey, don't do those shitbags any favors! Besides, once I catch them they'll be too busy in jail to appreciate this place being cleaned up.” 

“Ah sorry! It's just a force of habit for Gonta,” explained the butler as Miu glanced around the area they were in. The first thing she noticed was a door that probably lead to the room next to theirs. Walking over to the, she frowned as it failed to open, locked for some reason. However, when she turned around to complain about it to Gonta, something else caught her attention. 

“Hey Gonta, you can also see that right?”

The two found an odd looking door against one of the walls, musical notes printed on the wall around it. First conclusion was that it was some kind of music room-Miu paused, her train of thought sliding off track when she noticed someone standing in the corner of the area, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Hmm… not here either,” noted the woman, her pale-greenish, maybe silver, hair kept back in a ponytail, albeit a small one compared to Gonta’s mass of hair. Judging by the spider-web designs stretched across the woman’s lab coat, she was likely some kind of researcher involved with arachnids. Hm...Ultimate Bug Collector, maybe? Assuming she was an ultimate and not just a weirdo.

As the woman turned around, the last of her apparel, a pair of black slacks and a blue button up, became apparent, as did her green eyes which widened slightly when she noticed them. 

“Oh, hello there. My apologies for not noticing you sooner. I was a bit preoccupied.” Her formal way of speaking and tense stance immediately told Miu that the woman was just as suspicious of them as they were of her. Well, probably moreso than Gonta, considering he just seemed pleasantly surprised to see another person.

“Yeah, hi. So what exactly are you looking for?” questioned Miu as she glanced up at where the woman had been staring. The roofs here didn’t look any better than the rest of the building, but there didn’t seem to be anything particularly interesting...

“This may sound a bit odd, but I was searching for any signs of insects. However I have yet to find any,” the woman explained as her eyes started roaming around again, her attention drifting away from them.

“If you do not mind Gonta asking, can he ask why you are searching for insects? Gonta can help clear any away if you do not like them,” offered the Butler as his gaze followed hers, probably trying to help find any insects. 

“Actually, I am searching to see what specific kinds of insects reside here. If I were to find a sizeable amount of specific species, I could narrow down where we are currently being held.” 

“How the fuck can you do that? What, can you talk to bugs or something?” asked Miu, somewhat surprised by her response. If she was right, then whatever info this woman could give them would be nothing but beneficial to figuring out this place.

“Ah, forgive me. I have forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Kirumi Tojo, and I am the Ultimate Entomologist.” Bowing slightly to them, the newly introduced ultimate appeared to be waiting for a response, her eyes starting to drift again. Judging by how she was speaking, the politeness might just be her default tone instead of her being defensive, but it was too early to tell...

“It is a pleasure to meet you Tojo-san! Gonta is Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Butler!” greeted the ever pleasant giant.

“Yo Tojo. The name’s Miu Iruma, the Ultimate Detective. If you don't mind, I'd like to know whatever it is you find out.” Any info she could get would only benefit her, so no reason to not ask. 

“And two more ultimates...” muttered Tojo as she stopped looking around the room, focusing on them again. “Very well. If I can provide assistance in any matter than I shall do my best.”

“You met others already?” questioned Miu. 

“I have met a few other ultimates so far. And, unless those bears were lying, there are still some I have yet to meet. Both you and Gokuhara-kun are the seventh and eight person I have met. For some reason, we were all brought to this ‘gifted inmates academy’.” 

“This is in an academy?” asked Gonta, looking surprised again.

“What kind of name is ‘gifted inmates’ academy? Actually, why the fuck did they even bother naming this place? It looks like a shithole!” A shithole made for prisoners, maybe? The name Gifted Inmates implied a lot, none of it good if they were stuck here, and that was clearly a classroom back there. Maybe it was for juvenile offenders? Not likely, something like that would get a lot more publicity...So maybe their captor bought up an abandoned school and turned it into a prison?

“I have no idea what must be running through their minds, but this place was supposedly built for us. Although, given the state of this school, I find that unlikely.” Hm. Ultimates were naturally gifted, and the sixteen of them could count as inmates by being confined there. So the kidnapper bought a school, stuck them there, and made a joke out of the name. Fantastic.

“Hm. Could you tell me about the other ultimates?” asked Miu, jotting down her current info and hypotheses in her notebook.

“I suppose. They are around these areas though, so it should be simple to find them yourselves,” replied Tojo, looking disinterested as she continued looking around, mostly towards the large patches of moss and plants covering the walls. Hm. To press or to let it go? Knowing what Tojo thought of the others could be valuable, but biased information had the trap of making assumptions in it…

“Maybe we should leave Tojo-san alone for now, Iruma-san,” Gonta suddenly suggested, looking concerned. “Gonta thinks we might be bothering her.”

“Eh, maybe. Kay, you’re off the hook for now Tojo. Have fun with your bug search.”

Tojo mumbled something in reply before wandering over to one particularly mossy wall, her eyes narrowed as she started touching it with a gloved hand, apparently still focused on finding bugs. Miu huffed in mild annoyance, well-aware that she wouldn’t be getting anything else out of Tojo for the moment, before heading over to the music room and trying to open it. Key word trying. 

“What the fuck is with all these locked doors!?” 

“The bears said that those rooms weren't ready,” replied Tojo, not looking away from the moss she was examining. 

Quickly getting irritated at their captors, Miu let out an angry grunt, before stomping away from the area, Gonta following silently after her. The two walked in total silence until they came across a statue of a dragon that was missing one of its eyes. The statue seemed to be in pristine condition aside from its missing eye, though a layer of dust covered it.

“Hmm… Gonta remembers seeing statues like these in some of his master's gardens. Although those all had both their eyes. Still, these aren't something that would be at a school.” 

“So either whoever captured us bought a used one for a weird decoration, or he's just doing a shitty job at taking care of his things…unless...” Walking up to the statue, Miu climbed up its base to get a better look at missing eye. 

“A-ah!” Glancing over her shoulder, Miu found Gonta looking away from her, staring intently at a nearby wall. 

“Hey Gonta, did you see something?” He looked weirdly tense.

“N-No, Gonta didn't see a-anything! He swears this as a gentleman!” responded Gonta, a blush apparent on his face now that she was really looking.

“...Gonta, I'm wearing spats under this. You don't need to look away.” After a few cases had gone awry, Miu quickly learned the value of wearing spats or shorts while on the job.

“O-Oh, okay…” Despite this new knowledge, Gonta continued to stare at the wall. Seemed he really took the ‘gentleman’ thing seriously.

“Fine, whatever.” Turning back to the statue, Miu examined the hole where the eye would be. No cracks, or excessive scratching, so if the eye had been there before, it had been cleanly removed. 

Pressing her fingers the inside of the socket, Miu could feel grooves within the hole, possibly mechanism with the eye. Or maybe just intricate an design? Hard to say without the eye itself, but if their captor removed it themselves, there had to be a reason for doing so. She hummed in though, leaning close to try to see what was in there. “Well, whatever this dragon is supposed to be, finding its eye could help figure it out.”

“I believe this dragon may be the yellow dragon Koryu, given the orb in its hand, even though it is currently blue.” 

“Jesus fuck!” Surprised by the sudden new voice, Miu slipped and fell right onto the hard ground. “Gah-Fuck!” 

“Iruma-san, are you okay?!” Rushing to her side, Gonta helped Miu up as she rubbed her sore backside. 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.” Turning to face the new speaker, she pointed directly at him, glaring at the idiot. “What the hell gave you the bright idea to surprise us like that!?” 

“Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I-I only wished to answer your question!” responded the pale, platinum-haired boy, his ahoge standing at attention. Dressed in a grey kimono and blue montsuki, he looked way more traditional than the two people Miu had met so far. Did they drag this kid in from a festival or something? Or he could be from an older, richer family...Hm.

“Okay, fine, all’s forgiven. IF!” She held up a finger, grinning before pointing it at him again. “You answer a few more questions.”

“Oh, um...Very well, I would be happy to help,” he replied, nodding firmly. “What would you like to know? If it's about the statue, all I can inform you about is the history behind the dragon itself. While the statue itself does mimic a style common to feudal-era works, the overall craftsmanship is clearly modern.” 

“Huh. Interesting, but not important right now. First and second thing I want to know is your name and talent.” Taking out her notebook, she readied herself to jot down any info.

“That I can answer, no problem. My name is Kiibo Iidabashi, and I'm the Ultimate Anthropologist!” Hm, could be useful, but probably won't be able to help with hidden mechanisms in statues. 

“Greetings Iidabashi-san, Gonta is Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Butler.”

“Miu Iruma is my name, Ultimate Detecting is my game. Mind telling me what's the last thing you remember?” further questioned Miu.

“Oh, um… I was at home partaking in a snack,” Iidabashi responded as he tried to remember, a hand rubbing at his chin. “My father had just gone out, I think. So I was home alone.”

Hm, so a less brazen kidnapping than with Gonta, possibly drugged with his snack. If his father going out meant he was home alone, odds were he only lived with him. He’d probably mention other family if he had them...So, some kid living with his dad, maybe a wealthy widower? Though...the likely explanation was that Iidabashi just preferred traditional style clothing. He didn’t seem to act like a rich kid...

“So you are an anthropologist? Forgive Gonta, but he is unsure of what that is.” Being broken out of her thoughts, Miu tuned in to listen to Gonta and Iidabashi’s conversation.

“Well, to put it simply, I study various aspects of the humanity’s past, such as economics, linguistics, and culture. Although, that being said, I often find myself just studying Japanese anthropology, rather those of other countries. Our nation’s history is just so fascinating to me!” Ah, so it was definitely his preference that had him dressing like that.

“Gonta thinks that there is no problem with having things you prefer, as long as you don't hurt anyone.” As the two continued to talk, Miu pocketed her notebook, already thinking about the things she’d learned.

“Yo, Gonta, I'm gonna go on ahead okay?” 

“Eh? Then Gonta will go with you as well.” 

“Nah, you're talking with Iidabashi right? I can handle myself for a bit. Besides, if I need your help, I'll just find you, okay?” Spotting a staircase nearby, Miu decided to head down it as soon as she could. 

“Hmm...Okay, if you need Gonta’s help, then do not hesitate to ask.” 

“Sure sure.” Waving the two goodbye, Miu headed downstairs.

Arriving on the next floor, the first thing she noticed was that there was two restrooms to the left of the staircase. She didn't need to go, but checking to see if anyone happened to be inside wouldn't take any time. Opening the door to the girls restroom, that was pink for some reason, she glanced into the way too bright pink room. Seeing no one in there, she closed the door and went to open the guy’s restroom, only for the door to open as some tall, humming guy came out. 

The first thing Miu noticed about the new guy was his waist-length, dark blue hair, which looked really well kept, completely free of knots and tangles, least that she could see. Of the people she’d met so far, he was by far the most normally dressed, wearing dark green sweater vest over a white button up along with a matching pair of dark green trousers. Though he did also have a black medical mask on, and his hands were wrapped in bandages. Maybe an old injury? Though the mask implied he might have something to do with medicine. Or maybe he was a germaphobe?

“...Hello there,” the guy spoke up, his voice kinda soft and slightly muffled, “I was not expecting anyone to be standing out here.” Crossing his arms together, Miu noticed him tapping a finger against his upper arm. Nervous habit maybe? “Did you need to use the restroom?” 

“Nah, I was just seeing if anyone was in there. Mind telling me if there was?” 

“I did not know I had to keep an eye out for that,” came his dry response as he shook his head, “No, there is no one else in there. Unless they happened to have a talent involving sneaking around.”

Well, least he still had his sense of humor with him, even if it would probably make questioning him difficult. Sarcastic assholes always made it tricky to figure out if they were joking around or being evasive. Still, investigating meant questioning, so on she went.

“So mind telling me who you are then?” 

“I believe it is only polite to introduce oneself before asking someone else to do so,” he responded as he held up a finger. 

“Miu Iruma, Ultimate Detective who's on the job,” Miu replied, already getting annoyed, “Can you answer some questions or do you need to piss again?” 

“Hm, I suppose I could.” So definitely a sarcastic asshole. Great. “As for who I am, my name is Korekiyo Shinguji. I have the title of Ultimate Pianist, even though I am only the second greatest Pianist I know of.”

Second greatest? Hm. He could be referring to who taught him or whoever was an inspiration to him. Not uncommon for someone to consider someone else their better if they looked up to them, even if they surpassed that person in the public’s eye. Shaking her head as she began to trudge up old memories, Miu focused on Shinguji, her pen poised and ready. 

“Mind telling me what's the last thing you remember?” 

“...I was visiting a grave.” At the dark tone of his voice and narrowing of his eyes, Miu concluded it would be best to stop asking him any more questions for the moment. Intentional or not, he creeped her out, and his attitude was really starting to get on her nerves. 

“Hm. Well, thanks for answering. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing, though I might ask you some more stuff later, okay?” 

“‘Twould be my pleasure.” At his dry response, Iruma marched off, taking a left as she found an intersection in the hallway. As she did she heard him begin to hum once again. So, a sarcastic pianist with a dead...mentor? Relative? Maybe both. Something about him grated on her, but...Hm. 

She paused for a second. He’d gotten her to leave really easily. Maybe she was just getting impatient, not knowing what the hell is going on here, but his attitude had actually made her drop her questioning way before she usually would. Hm...No point going back now, but she should keep an eye on him.

Further down the hallway, Miu found a few more doors. Two on the right, one on the left. Looking up at the signs above each of them, she noted down on her growing map of the “school” that there was a school store, dining hall, and a warehouse. Odd that a school would have a warehouse inside of it. Storage rooms, sure, but a full on warehouse? Even though it would probably be empty, or at most have some old equipment, she decided to check it out. 

However, much to her surprise, rather than a small room with a few supplies, the warehouse was massive and had several rows of metallic shelves, all of them packed to the brim with several items. For a moment, her brain stopped as she took it all in. This...wasn’t normal. Why had their captor stocked all this stuff in here for them? This room was nowhere near as overgrown as the rest of the place she’d seen, so there was no way it had been left there when the school was abandoned. 

“-nd through Kami-sama’s blessing, Angie has been able to visit all of those lands with no problems~” A cheerful sounding voice broke her out of her thought, leading her to find two rather oddly dressed girls apparently chatting near a box of shot puts. The speaker was a dark-skinned and platinum-haired girl, probably a foreigner, that was wearing a white pith helmet, a bright yellow apricot jacket, and blue cargo pants. Miu briefly wondered if she tossed on clothes without a care of how it looked like, which was pretty likely considering the trinkets that were dangling from the girl’s jacket.

“I see… your faith in your kami is quite… astounding,” came the response from the other blonde, who seemed to be doing her best phrase her words carefully. Her outfit, while extravagant, wasn't nearly as bad as her companion’s, thankfully. Wearing an almost completely pink outfit that consisted of a vest, coat, and pants, all which had intricate golden lines on it, she almost seemed to be royalty. Though there was no way that was possible. Even if their captors had kidnapped the prime minister’s butler, royalty was a different story entirely.

Approaching the two, she raised her hand. “Yo, you two busy?” 

“Nyahahaha! To spread the word of Kami-sama, Angie always has time~ Pleased to meet you, Angie is the Ultimate Adventurer~” greeted the dark skinned girl. Although the constant cheerfulness could easily get annoying, the fact that she’d so eagerly introduced herself led Miu to conclude that she'd be easy to question. 

“Hello there, it's a pleasure to meet you as well. My name is Kaede Akamatsu, Ultimate Supreme Leader,” greeted her fellow blonde, thankfully not as cheery as Angie, though she did still seem easy to qu-...wait. 

“Uh…did you say Ultimate Supreme Leader?” 

“Ah… yeah,” as a small blush covered her face, Akamatsu looked away from the them. “It's an embarrassing talent, but it's what I was given after I became the leader of Valhozar.” 

For a moment, Miu felt her legs almost give out. “Y-You’re kidding. Right? There’s no way you’re actually the leader of a full on country, right?”

“Eh heh.” Akamatsu laughs a bit awkwardly, looking embarrassed. “I understand your skepticism, but that is the case. It’s...kind of a long story.”

“Look, I don't care if it's a long story or the briefest fucking tale in human history, you can't just expect me to think you're the leader of an entire country just because you said so!” 

“Ah…well, I do have this ring, but unless you are aware of Valhozar and it's insignia, it doesn't mean much.” Bringing a hand up, she showed off a signet ring she was wearing, which had an obviously foreign emblem displayed on it: an upside-down triangle with a crown atop it and a star inside.  
Miu’s initial reaction was that it appeared somewhat familiar, as if she had seen the insignia in passing before. Her second reaction was that there was no fucking way that could be possible. There was no way on earth an actual foreign dignitary had been kidnapped and brought to some weird bullshit school in Japan, if they were even still in fucking Japan. Kidnapping the butler of the prime minister was one thing, but royalty was an entirely different matter! Hell, not just royalty, but the actual fucking leader of a nation! Who was apparently a teenager!

There was no way something like that happened. There was no way something like that ever could happen. This was reality, not some stupid story!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me last week: this'll just be a side project. 
> 
> Me now: I can't stop writing this. 
> 
> Red: Meanwhile, Miu calls bullshit on her entire current situation.
> 
> Understandable really given what talents have been displayed. Anyways feel free to leave a comment, or vote for who miu hangs out with in fte's when I eventually get to them.


	3. Meet the Ultimates (part 2)

In all of her years of solving cases, Miu was certain of one thing: if she was ever faced with something she simply could not comprehend, such as a teenager claiming to be the leader of a foreign country, then it was always best to just change what she was focused on. She liked to call that certainty her third investigative principle: Fuck that shit and let future-me deal with it. So with that, she turned to the foreigner in her weird, mismatched clothing.

“Yo, adventurer girl, you said your name is Angie right?”

“Yes~ Angie received the title of Ultimate Adventurer after journeying to numerous lands so she could spread the word of Kami-sama~”

“...Okay then. Uh…wait, isn't there another word for that? Evan- something or other? Why is your talent adventuring if you’re more like a prophet?” Rather than answer, the smile on Yonaga’s face seemed to thin as she remained silent. So definitely a sore spot for her, considering how long the silence was dragging on.

“...It is simply the will of Kami-sama that Angie gained that title~.”

“Angie-san has mentioned how her…kami’s voice told her to go on a journey around the world,” explained Akamatsu as she glanced at the foreigner, looking somewhat nonplussed at having been skipped over.

“Nyahahaha~! Kami-sama’s divine voice has guided Angie on where to travel. All of these gifts Angie has are of places to which Angie brought the divine light of Kami-sama~”

So overly religious ultimate. Different, but Miu supposed it could be worse. Even if they could get annoying to be around, religious people weren’t necessarily assholes.

“Of course, these are only the offerings that Angie can carry around with her,” continued Angie as she clasped her hands together, “All blood offerings belong to Kami-sama, so Angie cannot take them with her.”

...Okay, sure, crazy cult girl. Significantly worse. Though it did explain why she wouldn’t be an evangelist if her cult wasn’t recognized as an official religion. Most countries weren’t okay with people offering their blood to gods anymore, and Angie did seem sour about it, so she probably was being honest about her wandering around and proselytizing. Miu already had to deal with someone claiming to be the leader of a country, so she might as well accept that. There was no way things could get any weirder than they already were, so fuck it.

“Would you like to hear about the divine word of Kami-sama? Angie only needs a small offering to grant you this~” And that was her cue to leave.

“Yeah, not interested. Feel free to ask the wannabe leader if she wants to give you some blood, I’ve got shit to do.” Quickly turning around, Miu walked out of the warehouse at a perfectly reasonable pace, only just hearing Akamatsu give some half baked excuse about being anemic as she left the warehouse.

As she entered the hallway, Miu made a beeline for the dining hall, entering it to see if anyone else was in there and definitely not to get away from the crazy cultist. However, rather than find someone in the empty room, she instead found a door that lead outside!

...That was covered in copious amount barb wire. Approaching the door, the ace detective did her best to peer through it, as compared to the windows she had seen this was the only glass that was decent enough to peer through.

Despite the terrible state of the glass on the door and the barb wire covering it, she was able to sort of make out what was on the other side. Although, all she could really see was some foliage, other shapes that looked like buildings, and the sky. Which did rule out them being trapped in an underground base or a ship out at sea, so hey, at least there remained some semblance of reality left.

Turning around, she almost walked out of the room, but stopped as she noticed a doorway that led into the kitchen. Entering that instead, she noticed that the kitchen was stocked in terms of appliances. All of which looked brand new.

Hm. Now that she didn't have to deal with size of the warehouse stunning her, a theory began to form in Miu’s head. Staring at the fridge, she walked towards it, intent on finding evidence to support her hypothesis. Grabbing the handle, she took a deep breath and opened it, finding a fully stocked fridge.

Okay, so whoever captured them most likely intended to induce stockholm syndrome in them. Not only were they letting their captives walk around with no surveillance, they gave them a warehouse full of goodies and food that seemed fresh. That being said, she wasn't interested in testing the food just yet, in case it was poisoned or drugged. If she had a test kit, she would have checked it out, but she doubted their captors would have anything like that lying around.

Wandering out of the room, Miu checked the school store next, finding the door there locked too. Deciding to further explore the intersection she was at, Miu began to ponder over her current hypothesis as she walked. It was possible that their captors hadn't shown their faces yet in order to breed nervousness amongst their captives. There was bound to be at least a few people who would react badly to this current situation, and that sort of paranoia could drive apart any chance of the captives working together. The locked rooms would probably be unlocked when their captors finally did show themselves too, further presenting the image that they were ‘friendly kidnappers’ by giving them things. Scare the captives into fearing each other, then earn their trust with a big show of generosity…

It was scary how well these bastards had thought things out. Hell, the stupid bears actually made sense if she was right. Cute little mascots that acted more like a comedy troupe than dangerous kidnappers, plenty of quirks to endear people to them...Perfect recipe for people to start believing whatever line of bullshit they were fed. And, judging by the supplies they set up here, their captors were planning for this shitshow to be long term.

Arriving at the intersection, Miu walked down the path she had yet to go, the pieces of the puzzle fitting neatly together in her mind. Soon enough, she found a caged off entrance hall, the giant set of doors leading out behind massive, presumably steel, bars. For a moment, she considered going to find Gonta to see if he could rip them apart. The butler already appeared strong enough to easily break anything.

That being said it probably wasn't a smart idea. Given what she'd seen, it wouldn't be that out of the ordinary to see a trap go off if they tried to break out. The kidnappers might be trying to get on their good side, but that didn’t mean they’d let them go easily. Thankfully, it seemed there was a way around the barred off entry hall, towards the hallway on the other side.

Continuing her trek, Miu passed by a hallway with another classroom in it. Peeking into the room, she found it empty. After a quick look through the room, she decided it wasn't worth her time to explore it further, especially since she still hadn’t met the eighth person Tojo mentioned. Leaving the room, she walked down a nearby set of stairs and soon found herself in what seemed to be the school’s basement.

A part of her was surprised just how huge the school was. Either the people that bought it made a lot of modifications, or it was meant for a bunch of rich kids. Given that she had only seen three classrooms so far, that was a pretty likely alternate explanation. Not like she had much to compare it to. Even though she was a high school student, she pretty much did the bare minimum she needed to, instead choosing to focus on her job as a detective, which she considered a _hell_ of a lot more important than wasting away behind a fucking school desk.

Walking towards the door on her right, Miu opened it up to reveal a library that looked like a tornado had roared through it. Books were strewn about everywhere, and several large piles covered both the floor and the tops of the shelves. Either their captor was a big reader, or they intended to keep all the ultimates busy while they stayed there. Further evidence for her hypothesis...

On another occasion, she might’ve wanted to take a look at all the books this place decided to stock, but since nobody was actually in the library, it made more sense for her to head out again, towards the next door in the hall. However, as she opened that exact door, she was greeted by a yell. 

“Come on you freaking machine, work already!” Standing next to what appeared to be a dance arcade machine was a purple-haired guy who clearly wasted way too much money on hair gel. Around said gelled hair was a purple headband, matching the color of the guy’s t-shirt. Add in the black shorts and purple sweatbands arounds his wrists, and he looked like some kind of athlete. From what she could see, he was decently muscular, but nowhere near the hulk Gonta was. Track runner, maybe? 

“Hey, what the fuck is with all the yelling in here?” questioned Miu as the guy turned away from the arcade machine to look at her.

“Oh, sorry if I scared you.” She hadn't been scared but okay. “It's just been a while since I've been in an arcade, so I got excited when I saw this hunk of junk.” 

“Well yelling at it won't solve anything. Besides, whoever brought us here is probably waiting until later to turn it on.” 

“Huh? How do you know that?” 

“I don't, but as a detective it's my job to figure out what's going on here. And right now, that's my best guess.” 

“You're a detective?” For the second time today, Miu was subjected to someone staring at her in blatant surprise at what she said. However, unlike before, she actually restrained herself. “Huh, didn't expect a girl to be the Ultimate Detective. Anyways, my name is Kaito Momota, the Ultimate Tennis Player, and I'll make sure we get out of here safe and sound! As a man, it's my job!”

...Oh, one of _those_ types. He even punctuated that show of masculine bravado by thumping his chest. Greaaaaaaaaaaat. While one of the least dangerous types of people to hang around, guys like him were certainly the most annoying. Right up there with crazy cult people, and cherry pickers who tried to smooth talk their way out of being in trouble. 

Thankfully, she wouldn't have to deal with him after they got out. Really, she’d be fine with never interacting with most of the people she’d met so far once they were free. That being said, she should probably ask Gonta what prefecture he lived in. 

“Hm…Hey Momota, mind answering a few questions?”

“Sure thing! Anything to help.” Well, at least he’d probably be helpful. If he starts getting condescending though...

“What prefecture are you from, and what's the last thing you remember?” 

“Tokyo, born and raised, specifically Koto. As for what I remember… it's a bit fuzzy but I think I was practicing?” Writing down the info, Miu began to wonder just when the kidnapping began. 

Ultimates were held to such high regard that if one went missing then it became national news, yet she hadn’t heard anything about any kidnapped or missing ultimates. So either it had been a coordinated simultaneous kidnapping, or she was missing more memories than just her immediate kidnapping.

Granted, it was also possible that she’d been the first to be kidnapped. Whoever planned this who operation probably saw her as a the biggest threat since she definitely would have solved the kidnappings, given the chance to investigate. Damn her genius brain and talent!

“Uh… you doing okay there?” Blinking, Miu realized that she was still standing in the arcade room, Momota standing nearby looking somewhat confused. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine, just got a little lost in thought. So, you were at practice when you were taken? Do you remember if anyone else was there?”

“I’m not sure, actually. Like I said, it’s weirdly fuzzy. I’m sure I must’ve been practicing with someone, it’s just a weird blank on who.” Hm. So it’s pretty likely that they were drugged before being brought here.

“Did you eat or drink anything before practice?”

“Of course! You need to keep your energy up when you’re going to be doing something really active like tennis.”

“Specifically?”

“Protein bar and some water.”

“Tap or bottled?”

“Uh...it was my own water bottle! The one I usually use.” So if it was his own bottle, he probably filled it up using a tap. In that case, it was possible that he wasn't the only one knocked out, even if he was the only one their kidnappers took. 

“Is it safe to assume that you didn't pay attention to your bottle while you practiced?” 

“Of course I didn't stare at a water bottle while I practice. Not only is that not safe, it's disrespectful to whoever I'm practicing with! ...whoever that was anyways.” His voice trailed off into a mutter as he rubbed the back of his head, clearly trying to remember his practice partner. Well, if that was all he knew about their situation...

“That's all I have for you now.” Pocketing her notebook, Miu began to look around the room. Aside from the dance machine, there were various other machines, all looking like they belonged in an arcade, albeit a rundown one. All of them looked old and non-functioning, though it was possible their captors would turn them on later... 

Surprisingly, there also appeared to be a bookcase full of board-games and vending machines in two of the corners. Walking over to the sliding door, Miu tried to open it. _Tried_.

“All these locked doors are getting real fucking annoying,” Miu said to herself, beginning to feel somewhat antsy. No matter the situation, she always hated it when she couldn’t investigate something, and all the locker doors that she had seen only served to rile her up.

“Not sure if it was locked or not, but there was another door that I think leads to that room,” offered Momota, “I'll show you where it is.” 

“I can find it myself.” 

“It's okay, I don't mind showing you. Besides I can't let a girl walk around by herself,” he said as he smiled, obviously trying to be reassuring. 

Instantly Miu’s felt herself grimace. Intentional or not, Momota’s words were only pissing her off. It felt like she was being fucking condescended to. “I can take care of myself. I don't need a fucking chaperone.”

“Whoa, okay!” Momota chuckled, apparently thinking her irritation was funny, “Just be careful, alright? I'll be here if you need help.”

Making a mental note to _never_ ask for his help, Miu left the room, taking a left at the intersection. Arriving at the end of the hall, she found two doors, both parallel to one another. If the size of the library was any indication, the door on the right most likely led back to it. Still, best to check. Opening the door, she was greeted by the disheveled library. 

Always nice to have a theory confirmed. Closing the door, she turned around to the remaining door and reached out to slide it open. Except the stupid fucking thing stayed stubbornly shut even as she tried to yank it. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she reared back her leg to kick the door down. 

“Rise and shine ursine!” 

Only to stumble back as the five bears popped up again in front of her. “Where the fuck did you come from!?” 

“Well when a mama bear and a poppa bear lov-” started the red bear. 

“That's not what she was asking, Monotaro!” yelled the pink one.

“Really? But, she was asking where we came from, Monofunny,” responded Monotaro. 

Great, just right back into their comedy routine. “What do you things want?” 

“We came to tell you that you shouldn't break things!” yelled the blue one as it swung around a guitar, only to smack it into the green one, knocking it over and breaking the guitar. “Why'd you break my guitar, Monodam!?” 

“...” Pushing itself up, Monodam remained silent despite what happened.

“I'm pretty sure that's cause you swung your guitar into him on purpose, Monokid,” retorted the yellow one, as it pushed up its glasses.

“If you don't unlock the door then I'm gonna kick it down,” cut in Miu as she stared down at them, taking a mental note of their names.

“You can't kick it down! We're not done preparing everything!” yelled Monotaro. Loud little bastards “Besides, we'd have to punish you if you break the rules.” 

“...what rules?”

“Damn it Monotaro, you bastard! We weren't supposed to talk about those yet! Daddy hasn't even show up yet!” screamed Monofunny. Daddy?

“He hasn't even made an appearance yet, so you shouldn't have mentioned him!” yelled the yellow one. So the boss here was male?

“Stop yelling Monosuke!” yelled Monokid as it swung around another guitar that it pulled out of nowhere. Hm. Monotaro, Monofunny, Monodam, Monokid, Monosuke. There was some kind of theme there...

“Why are you yelling at me!?”

“Cause everyone else was yelling at someone else!”

As the comedy routine continued, Miu took a deep breath as she tried to remain calm. Only for her eyes to snap open as she stomped down on Monokid. “Stop ignoring me you fucking cucks!”

“Hey, what the hell! Get off me!”

“Get off of our brother of we'll punish you!” threatened Monofunny. 

“...You know, technically we can't since she isn't breaking any rules,” muttered Monosuke, as it pushed up its glasses to its forehead. Applying more pressure onto Monokid and getting a weird squeal from the blue bear in return, Miu scowled at the remaining bears.

“Just tell me what I want to know, or I break this one.” 

Staring back up at her, the bears remained silent. “Every bear for himself!” Before Monotaro suddenly shouted and began to run. As the bears scattered, Miu felt confused for a moment, before she stumbled as Monokid somehow got away, disappearing right from under her feet.

“Wha- where the fuck!?” Scouring the halls with an angry glare, she stopped when she realized Monodam was still there, staring up at her. “You! Where did they go!?” Remaining silent, Monodam continued staring, its mouth twitching for a second, before it ran away as well. 

“Grk-GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Chasing after the bear, Miu rushed after it up the stairs, only to suddenly lose it once she got up to the top. “What? Where the fuck do they keep disappearing too?!” 

She glanced around, her fists clenched in irritation as she looked for the little shits. There had to be some kind of network of tunnels around her or something for those fuckers to keep vanishing like that...Hm. They were small enough to slip through something small that none of the captives could get into...Something else to look for then.

Letting out another sigh as she tried to calm down, she began to wonder when their supposed dad would appear. Those bears did mention he was going to be showing up soon... Aside from that, she’d already investigated everything she could in this place, and yet there was only eight people, including her, inside of the school. That didn’t make sense, considering the sixteen silhouettes she’d seen on her tablet.

However, before she could continue to ponder that issue, she noticed something. Or rather, a lack of something. Walking down the hall, she arrived at entrance area of the academy, where there had previously been bars blocking her off from the door leading out of this ridiculous school. Standing by said door were two people, the taller of the two looking quite familiar.

“Yo, Gonta, who's that you're talking to?” Standing next to the giant butler was an average looking guy, looking tiny compared to Gonta. It didn’t help that the twink was hunched over like he was trying to avoid being looked at. Dressed in a black school uniform, the only noteworthy thing about the dark-haired kid was the hat that he had on, the brim down to cover his eyes. 

“Iruma-san! Hello again! This is Saihara-san,” said Gonta, gesturing to the pale kid, “He got rid of the bars.” 

“Oh? You did?” 

“Ah, yeah… It must have opened when I opened the door,” muttered Saihara as he looked away from her. Given his demeanor, and the way he seemed to be getting pink, it was clear that he was embarrassed about the attention, and probably wasn’t bullshitting her. “My name is Shuichi Saihara, Ultimate Cosplayer.” 

Cosplayer? He didn't seem like the type to have that talent, given how embarrassed he was just talking to two people. Miu had never cosplayed, but she figured it involved a ton of people staring at the cosplayer. 

“...Wait, did you say you opened the door?” 

“Y-Yeah, I was outside. So I came to check here.” Holy shit, did this kid really just let out them out of their fucking prison already?

“Then what are we waiting for? Let's get out of here Gonta!” 

“Ah, um…” Seemingly having trouble with his words, Saihara let out a sigh. “Just brace yourselves.” 

For a moment, Miu didn’t get why he said that. The door was open, right? So...Hm. That’s when a single thought entered her mind. 

If he had also been kidnapped, why was he outside? 

Walking away from the two, Miu headed directly towards the door, intent on leaving the apparent academy. Pausing before she opened the door, a part of her felt a sudden twinge of unease as she wondered what was on the other side if this kid was telling her to brace herself. Taking his advice and bracing herself, she pushed the door open. 

The sight before her filled her with despair. 

What she had first thought were buildings in the distance were all parts of partially finished wall surrounding them in the distance. Metal bars stretched out from the wall, high up into the sky, encircling them like a cage. Almost as if they were planning on building a dome around them. 

“...” Unable to say anything, Miu could only feel her mind going haywire as she tried to grasp what was in front of her, ignoring Gonta’s shocked reaction and the arrival of the bears. Not only had whoever captured them managed to do so without being caught, but they also managed to build a fucking cage so they couldn't escape. Meaning that whoever did so had enough power to do so completely under the fucking radar. That...should have been completely impossible. But here it was. So what the fuck?

Not to mention that this meant even if she did catch the perp at this point, provided they were even in there in the first place, they wouldn't even be able to get out unless they had some secret exit, or were able to climb that metal wall. But, of fucking course, none of the ultimates she had met so far had any talents that could help them out there. Digging their way out or blowing up the wall was also out of the question, given that it was impossible to tell how deep or thick the wall was.

Feeling someone gently shake her, Miu snapped out of her thoughts, finding Gonta staring at her, concern evident in his eyes. “W-What?!” As she instinctively took a step back, she realized how shallow her breaths had gotten. 

“Are you okay? Gonta became worried when you weren't responding.” 

“Y-Yeah… just need a moment.” Glancing around, she realized the bears had once again disappeared. Shit, she completely missed their speech. ...Fuck it.

Stumbling back, she wandered over to the steps leading to the school, before taking a seat. Gripping her hands, she did her best to calm down. As her breathing began to slow down, she accepted the stick of gum offered to her by the girl sitting next to her. 

...Wait. 

Looking over, she found a tired looking girl who had a dirty black bandana covering her red hair. Dressed in red coveralls, with goggles around her neck, and a bag at her side that appeared to have a couple tools sticking out of it, she looked like some kind of mechanic. Putting the pack of gum back into her bag, the girl remained quiet as she sat there, staring up at the bars.

“...How long have you been sitting here?” 

“Nyeh… I dunno. Haven't been paying attention,” she muttered as she picked her ear. 

“Okay...Who are you?” 

“Himiko Yumeno, Ultimate Inventor,” she responded, sounding tired as she reclined against the stairs. 

“Ah, an Inventor?” questioned Gonta. “How’d did you get that title?” Huh, big guy was picking up her slack. Neat.

“I invented a bunch of stuff. Mainly things that help people sleep or do things in their sleep.” At the second part, Yumeno appeared to get even more tired.

“Wait, as in you can work while sleeping?” Miu questioned as she continued watching her reactions. Yumeno just seemed weirdly exhausted, like she’d been working for hours or something. Maybe a natural condition? 

“Yeah, you know, like eating or reading.” 

“Really? You're not lying?” Seeing the inventor shake her head, a smile broke out on Miu’s face. “How much do those things cost? I want a couple for myself.” 

“Huh? You do?” Yumeno actually sounded a bit interested there, her tired eyes flicking towards her.

“Of course I do! Those sound fucking useful, especially when I'm busy on a case!” 

“Gonta would love one as well. There are times when Gonta’s job doesn't give him much time to rest.” 

“...Exactly!” Energy seem to fill the lithe girl, a little grin on her face. “Nobody gets how useful those are!” 

“Oh I’m sure. People tend to be really fucking close-minded.” Miu grinned back, taking out her notebook and flipping it open. At least this inventor chick seemed to have her head on right. “So, could you describe your stuff to me? I wanna get an idea of how helpful they could be on an investigation.”

“An investigation?” Oh, right.

“Yep! Miu Iruma, Ultimate Detective! My huge pal’s Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Butler. Nice to meet you,” she greeted, Gonta smiling and waving as she gestured at him, “So, what you got?”

“Huh...An inventor and a butler…” Yumeno seemed a bit lost in thought suddenly, staring up at the sky again and suddenly muttering under her breath. “...hands would work, maybe a vision enhancing…” Pulling out a journal from her bag, she began to sketch something. “Should be lightweight and thin…” 

Somewhat stumped at Yumeno’s sudden actions, Miu stared silently, not wanting to interrupt her. After some time had passed, Yumeno set down the journal, seemingly pleased about the sketch. Turning back to Miu, her eyes widened slightly. 

“Oh…sorry, you were asking about my inventions?” 

“Just how they work, so I know how they can help me.” 

“Nyeh...well for reading and stuff like that, it just scans whatever is put into the slot, or whatever the scanner is aimed at. Then it sends the info into your brain. It also has hands to flip pages if it's multiple papers.” Huh. That definitely would be helpful when she has to deal with multiple cases at once, especially if there was a large amount of paperwork. Continuing to jot down just how Yumeno’s inventions could help her, Miu let out a satisfied hum, thinking how easier her job could be now. 

“Definitely useful. I'll have to pick some up once we get out of here!”

“I'll make both of you one's myself when we get out,” muttered Yumeno, a small smile still on her face. 

“Thank you, Yumeno-san! If you ever need anything, Gonta will help you with whatever you need!” Nice of him-Oh, right.

“Oh, before I forget. You mind telling me what's the last thing you remember?” questioned Miu. 

“Nyeh? ...I went to go take a nap. And then I woke up here,” she said, frowning. So that could explain how she was kidnapped. Given how tired she seemed, she probably took naps often and would be an easy abduction, especially for the bastards that seemed to be running this operation. Grabbing a napping girl would be pretty easy, considering who else they grabbed...Hm.

“Hm…hey, Yumeno, you mind telling me where you're from? Just wanna know so I can visit.” 

“...Fukuoka City.” 

“Gonta has to travel a lot because of his job, but his home is in Kuki, Saitama. If Gonta is there, then you two can visit any time.” 

“And my place is in Yokohama. I'll show you two the places to visit if you come by.” And with that, she knew where they came from, and had a good idea of just how far their captors’ reach extended.

“Nyeh… sounds tiring.” Despite Yumeno’s comment, a small smile was on her face. Pocketing her journal, Miu stood up with a grin of her own. 

“See you around, Yumeno.” Waving her goodbye, she walked away, pleased the conversation had helped calm her down. The giant cage was still bullshit, but a problem for future her. Hearing Gonta follow her, she set her sights on the closest building: a circular building marked “dormitories”. 

Great. The people who brought them there had the decency to give them a place to sleep, but decided to shove her in a locker instead. Of course.

However, as they approached the building, Miu noticed someone peeking around the edge of the building, their gaze specifically directed at Yumeno. Getting closer, she found a girl with long brown twintails bound in green ribbons trying her best to hide from sight. And doing a really bad job of it. The odd girl wore a sky-blue sweater and dark jeans, along with a purple headband. Overall, her outfit seemed casual, which made the spying weird.

“Yo. Why you looking at her?” Catching her off guard, the girl jumped back, bringing her hands up defensively, before bringing them down once she saw Miu.

“L-Looking? Tenko wasn't looking at a-anyone.” A blush spread across the girl’s face as she looked away from Miu and Gonta. She really didn't have much of a poker face... 

“Uh, excuse Gonta, but he thinks you were.” Immediately Tenko’s face soured as she stared up at Gonta. 

“Of course a menace like you would think that.” 

“M-Menace?!” Glancing at the two, gears began to turn in Miu’s head. 

“...Oh, hey, Gonta, you mind if I talk to her myself?” 

“Huh? ...If that's what Iruma-san wants then okay.” Watching Gonta back away, Miu made sure he was out of earshot before turning to Tenko. 

“You know, if you want to talk to her you just need to go up to her.” 

“E-Eh? T-Tenko doesn't know what you're talking about.” Jesus Fuck, this girl couldn’t be anymore obvious.

“In that case, you mind answering some questions? I'm the Ultimate Detective, Miu Iruma, an I'm trying to find out what's happening around here.” 

“D-detective?” Her eyes widening, Tenko seemed nervous. Hm. “You're a detective?”

“Yup. What, you got something you wanna hide?” 

“N-No, Tenko is just, just glad that a girl is a detective. Last thing we need is for some menace to ogle us by pretending to investigate... Tenko will gladly answer any question!” Then why did she sound so nervous?

“Well, first off, mind telling me your talent?” 

“O-Oh, Tenko didn't introduce herself, sorry. Tenko Chabashira is the Ultimate Child Caretaker!” Well, she had the energy to be one at least. 

“Next, mind telling me what was the last thing you remember, and what city you were in?”

“Tenko was at a tea shop, in Okinawa.” Hm, she didn't have an accent or seem to speak okinawan. So it was possible that she was just traveling there, or recently moved there.

“You go there cause of a job?” 

“Ah, yeah, Tenko has to travel a lot cause of her talent.” Sounding sad, Tenko looked down. So she didn’t like constant traveling? Would make sense if she got attached to the kids she met. A good caretaker was probably in high demand for rich people, though...that didn’t explain the apparent concern at being question. Though that could just be general nervousness about her blatant crush.

“Hm, well thanks for the help. I don't need to ask anything else right now, but I’d appreciate it if you could help out if I need more info later. And, if it helps, just go ask her about her inventions.” 

“E-eh!? Tenko doesn't know what you're talking about!” Heavily blushing, she looked away from the detective. Heh, cute.

“Hyehehehe.” Smirking she turned around to Gonta. “Yo, Gonta, you can come over now.” 

Gonta glances at Tenko with a bit of concern as he walks over to Miu, clearly confused by the caretaker. “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t like guys that much.”

“Oh, Gonta understands.” He understood, but didn’t seem happy about it. Well, something for later.

“Come on, let’s check out these dorm rooms. Here’s hoping they actually have some neat shit in there.” Miu promptly took the lead into the dormitory, her smile dropping into a frown as she considered everything that she’d seen in this weird place. Clearly, their captors intended for them to stay there for a long time, but she still had no idea why. Nor did she know why they were letting their own captives have free reign of the place. 

There was something going on here. Something she didn’t have all the pieces to yet. And, to be honest, that was really pissing her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that we have five more ultimates to go. I wonder how many more times miu will call bullshit before the reveal of the killing game. Course by the end of all this her bullshit meter will break.
> 
> Red: "Problems for future Miu. Gotta love that mentality."
> 
> That i do, anyways feel free to comment about what's happened so far!


	4. Meet the Ultimates (Final Part)

Entering the dormitories, Miu took notice of how the rooms were arranged in a circle around a center, so that eight were on the first floor and eight were on the second floor. Next to each door was a small pixelated image of every captive at the academy, including those she had yet to meet. However, what she found the most interesting in that little area was the vaguely familiar looking, rosy-cheeked guy sitting on the stairs, appearing deep in thought as he chewed on a candy cigarette.

The rather short guy wore a beanie with a crescent moon on it, several white dots spread around it like stars. Dressed in brown pants and a blue vest with a JAXA label on it, he almost looked like a kid aspiring to be an astronaut. Almost.

“...You’re Ryouma Hoshi aren't you?” Miu questioned as he looked up her. 

“It seems my reputation precedes me.” Sighing, he ate the candy cigarette before standing up, using a cane Miu hadn't noticed before to keep steady on his feet. His voice was really deep, lending a sort of maturity to his words. “You’re correct. I am Ryouma Hoshi, former Ultimate Astronaut.” 

“Huh? Forme-” Bringing a hand up, Miu cut Gonta off. 

“Somethings are better not knowing, Gonta. This is one of them.” At the very least, that incident likely wasn't something that Hoshi would be willing to talk about easily. 

“Hm. Thanks. Since you have me at a disadvantage, you mind telling me who you are?” As he asked that, Hoshi pulled out another candy cigarette and put it in his mouth

“A-Ah, Gonta’s title is Ultimate Butler.” Greeting Hoshi, Gonta bowed, doing his best to not stare at the shorter man.

“Miu Iruma, Ultimate Detective,” responded Miu, causing him to quirk an eyebrow. 

“Detective, huh? Dunno if I should feel special or not, given how I was kidnapped alongside all these ultimates. A former ultimate is as worthwhile as a normal civilian afterall.” Sighing, Hoshi looked away from the two. 

“I don't think the assholes who brought us here care about that,” Miu said as she scratched her head. It was interesting they’d grabbed Hoshi though. It was certainly an eclectic collection of people their captor had grabbed, almost like they were trying to collect the best in a wide variety of fields...Which made the fact they were stuck in a giant cage almost darkly funny. Like they were pets on display...

“Fair enough. I assume you want to ask me some questions?” At her nod, he inclined his head at the doors. “In that case, you should know that the doors are all locked. I was hoping to lay down, so I checked them all out.” 

Well, that could explain why they weren't placed in those rooms. If they weren't ready yet, then their captors probably decided to stick them elsewhere so they could work in peace. That, or whoever captured them decided to be extra dickish about it. 

“Okay, thanks for the info, you saved us some time. Mind telling me what's the last thing you remember, and where you were last?” 

“I was in Chofu, meeting up with some old colleagues for lunch. Can't tell you more than that though. Even the people I ate with are a blur,” he answered as he rubbed the back of his head, looking more...tired, maybe, than annoyed. And his experience did sound like what Momota had described before, right down to the fuzzy figures. Whatever they had been drugged with must be incredibly strong to fuck them up this much. “Anything else you need?” 

“...Nah, not right now. But if I need to later, I'll track you down.” 

“Hmph. If someone like me can help out, then sure. If you need me, I'll be here unless something happens.”

Waving bye to him, Miu turns around to leave, but pauses as she sees Gonta bow again. 

“Gonta apologizes for being rude!” The giant sounded really contrite again, though Hoshi just waved him off.

“No need to apologize. You didn't know, so you weren't rude.” Despite Hoshi clearly not giving a shit, Gonta continued to bow a few more times, before turning around to follow Miu. She might need to keep an eye on that politeness of his. It wouldn’t do if somebody decided to take advantage of gentle giant’s kindness.

Exiting the dorms, Miu sighed as she noticed Tenko still staring at the petite Ultimate, who was still lazing on the stairs. Deciding it was best to leave that mess for later, she started walking away, but paused as she heard some noise coming from her right. Changing course, she slowly realized what they noise was as they got closer.

“...Hey Gonta, does that sound like clapping?” 

“Yes, Gonta thinks so. And it sounds like someone is cheering too,” responded Gonta rather cheerfully, blissfully unaware of just how weird it was to hear someone clapping in this place. Increasing her pace, Miu arrived at a set of stairs and found what was possibly the oddest sight she’d seen all day. Well, aside from the giant fuck-off cage. And the cultist, and...She was having a really fucking weird day today.

Anyway, the sight that greeted her was a magic show being performed by some blue-haired girl to a green-haired ikemen, as a twin-tailed girl in a red gi with a black belt watched from a distance, her braided hair going all the way down her back. 

“You're really amazing at this, Shirogane-san,” politely cheered the green-haired guy as he kept clapping from where he was sitting at the bottom of the stairs. His attire consisted of a dark blue striped sweater, gray pants, and slip on shoes. Along with that, the pretty boy also had several accessories on him, ranging from rings to bracelets to ear piercings and a crystal necklace. All in all, he looked like a textbook example of a playboy. 

“Thank you, Amami-kun!” Tipping her top hat, the performer, apparently named Shirogane, slid her wand into her sleeve, before bowing to him as she flourished her silk cape. Dressed in a black jacket with matching black pants, along with a bright orange bow tie, she looked like the poster child for magicians. 

“Hey, what the hell is going on here?” Catching their attention, Miu waited for their answer as the newly dubbed Amami stood up to turn to them. 

“Ah, sorry about that. Shirogane-san was just showing me her talent,” the guy explained as he sheepishly smiled. Hm. He was dressed weirdly casually for an ultimate. Nothing about him really seemed to indicate what his talent could be, and that was kind of off-putting. Then again, he could have one of those subtler talents...Or just liked to dress like that. Ultimates didn’t really have a dress code; it wasn’t like the government forced them to wear things relating to their talents or anything.

“And just why are you two doing this now?” questioned Miu. “It’s pretty weird to put on a performance right after you’ve been kidnapped.”

“Ah, well, I wanted to cheer Amami-kun up,” explained Shirogane, and before Miu could ask, the guy in question spoke up. 

“Let me introduce myself first. I'm Rantarou Amami, and I don't know what my talent is.” ...Hm. Okay, not the weirdest thing she’d heard all day, but definitely off-putting.

“So, what, you’re the Ultimate Amnesiac?”

“Huh. I suppose I could count as that, though that doesn’t really sound like a talent.” Laughing it off, Amami crossed his arms. “Either way, for some reason I can't remember my talent. In fact, it seems like large parts of my memory are missing. Anything relating to my talent is gone.” At the last part, he began to sound a bit distressed, his even tone wavering slightly. 

That...definitely was off-putting. Losing recent memories would have been par for the course since they had all clearly been drugged, but specific memories like that shouldn't have gone missing. It was possible that he lost more than the others because of something traumatic that happened prior to his abduction, but amnesia didn’t just target specific parts of a person’s memory like that.

“Hm. If whoever kidnapped us had to use extra force, or a stronger drug on you, losing more memories would make sense. But losing specific memories shouldn't happen.” Unless whoever was in charge deliberately made him lose those specific memories. As far as she knew, the closest thing that could actually do something like that was hypnosis. However, if that was the case, then why had they only erased his talent? Why not get rid of everyone's talents? What was special about Rantarou Amami? Assuming he wasn’t lying to her, of course...

“When I saw Amami-san here, I took it upon myself to cheer him up. Oh, before I forget, my name is Tsumugi Shirogane, and I'm-” Tipping her hat, she flicked her wand out of her sleeve and spun it around until it became a bouquet of flowers. “-the Ultimate Magician.” Finishing her introduction, she gave them a cheerful wink. 

“Ah! A magician? Gonta hasn't seen one since he was a kid.” 

“Well, if you would like, I wouldn't mind showing off one more trick.” At the magician’s suggestion, Gonta glanced at Miu, clearly asking for permission. Which was kind of weird, but he did seem like the type who needs others to take the lead.

“A-Ah, well, you know, if you want to, go ahead. But I still need to ask you two some stuff after,” responded Miu as she fiddled with a stray strand of hair, totally not excited for a magic trick. 

“In that case-” Spinning the bouquet of flowers, Shirogane grinned as it became a wand again. “-For my final trick, I shall perform a simple card trick.” Sliding the wand into her sleeve, she pulled out a deck of cards. Shuffling the deck, she spread them back up towards Gonta. “Please pick a single card, one card, any card.” Peeking over his shoulder, Miu saw him draw the seven of hearts. “Now make sure to remember that specific card no matter what!” 

Taking the card back, she continued to shuffle the deck again. Seemingly satisfied, she paused, then suddenly tossed the cards up into air, only for them to vanish the instant they left her hand. 

“Huh!? The cards disappeared!?” asked Gonta as he looked around in clear surprise. 

“Oh my! Where oh where could those cards have gone?” Shirogane started looking around with exaggerated motions, Gonta looked around as well to help her. “Oh well, I'll just have to use these instead.” Taking off her hat, she pulled out a set of cards from it, before handing them to Gonta. “Could you please check to make sure all the cards are there?” 

Taking the cards from her, Gonta checked them all. “Ah, Shirogane-san, the card Gonta picked is missing.” 

“Oh, no worries.” Reaching toward Gonta, she pulled a card out of his coat pocket. “We'll just use this card. It is the one you drew right?” In her hand was the seven of hearts.

“Ooooh!” As his eyes lit up, Gonta began to enthusiastically clap. 

“I-Impressive.” Miu said, restraining herself from an outburst. She had to admit, the magician was really impressive. She’d been looking at Shirogane’s hands throughout the whole trick and hadn’t noticed any obvious sleights. That took some real skill... Coughing into her hand, Miu readjusted her hat. “Anyway. You mind if I ask some questions? I'm the Ultimate Detective, Miu Iruma, and I'm trying to figure out what's happening.” 

“If I can help,” Amami replied, shrugging. He was smiling again though. Seemed Gonta’s excitement was infectious.

“Sure thing!” Shirogane said, sounding just as chipper as before.

“Two things for both of you: what's the last thing you remember, and where are you from?” 

“I… think I was preparing something at home,” muttered Amami, sounding uncertain. Which did make sense if he really was missing parts of his memories. “If I was at home, then I was in Oyama.” So he could remember that much. Hm. Targeted amnesia still shouldn’t be possible, but having gaps like that...Hm.

“I was on my way home from a show.” Letting out a sigh, Shirogane looked down at the ground, seeming to droop in exaggerated sadness. “I was in public as well, so I don't know how that could have happened.” She suddenly straightened up again, looking thoughtful. “Oh, I should be more specific. What I meant by ‘on my way home’ is that I had just finished a performance, so I being driven home from that job. The last thing I remember is my manager driving through Shibuya.” 

“Was anyone else in the car?” 

“Not unless they were a ninja,” responded Shirogane, “I did have all the gifts I received from fans, but they check those before I receive them.”

Hm. If that was the case, then it was possible that her manager had been involved with the kidnapping, or that someone who was supposed to check her gifts had slipped something in on purpose. Simple human error was also possible, but unlikely. 

“Well, that's all I have for you two now.” Glancing around, Miu took note of a few things that she’d ignored before, still kind of overwhelmed by the fucking sky cage. A small statue of a ninja was off on their left, another building was off to their far right, and there was yet another building in front of them, shaped like a cage. Seemed their captors had a fetish for cages. Fantastic.

Dismissing that for now, Miu walked over to the person who had kept to herself, ready to question her. 

“Maki Harukawa, Ultimate Aikido Practitioner, Sapporo.” Until Harukawa introduced herself first. “I heard you talking with those two, so I decided to save some time.” Well, that was...helpful. 

“Uh… yeah thanks.” 

“If you need any help from me when you find out who brought us here, I'll be more than happy to lend a hand.” The air around Miu began to chill as Harukawa glared. “I know plenty of ways to restrain people while making it hurt as much as possible.” 

With that, Miu made a mental note to never piss her off. “Y-Yeah, I'll find you first when I do. Actually, one other thing. You see anyone else nearby? I've only met fourteen of you, and I'm pretty sure there's sixteen people here.” Miu quickly deduced that she’d asked the wrong question as Harukawa glared at her again. Well, less at her and more glaring in general. Still kinda intimidating.

“He's in the stone building.” Clenching her hands, Harukawa let out an aggravated sigh. “Just ignore whatever he says. It's a waste of time to listen to him.” 

Stunning endorsement, really. However, Miu would still need to talk with him, even if the guy was a prick. He could have useful info, and she really couldn’t afford to not know as much as possible.

Looking over her shoulder to call out to Gonta, Miu saw the gentle giant still chatting with Shirogane and Amami. Well, it was only one last person. Even if he ended up being annoying, she could handle him herself. 

“Thanks for the warning,” Miu said before heading to the cage, Harukawa visibly frowning as she left. 

Opening the door to the cage, she was momentarily taken aback at how the well-kept the area was, looking like an oasis in the middle of this hellhole. The fountain in the middle seemed to be continuously flowing as the waterfall behind it caused a small amount of mist to fill the air, lending a weirdly gorgeous look to the place. Probably some kind of recycling system to keep the water running...Hm.

“Greetings-Miss. How-May-I-Be-Of-Service?” Just when she thought her day couldn't get any weirder, a boy with an oddly disjointed manner of speaking suddenly talked to her, turning his gaze from the fountain towards her. The rather short guy had a mop of dark purple hair with an odd sheen to it, along with two lines running down from his purple eyes. His clothes really only accentuated the weirdness of his appearance. The kid was wearing a checkered suit and a black tie, along with white pants. Despite his short stature, he looked almost bulky as the clothes seem to stretch on him, like he had something on under it.

“Uh… who are you?” she questioned, continuing to look him up and down. The hell was he supposed to be anyway? Some kind of lounge singer?

“Oh-Forgive-Me-For-Not-Introducing-Myself. My-Name-Is-Kokichi-Ouma-Ultimate-Robot.” 

...Uh, what?

“Wait wait wait, you're a robot? You're not fucking with me? Actually wait, how are you even an Ultimate?” What the fuck was with today and meeting weird people?

“Ah-To-Show-That-I-Am-A-Robot-Is-Simple. All-I-Need-To-Do-Is ROCKET PUNCH!” His voice suddenly went deep and menacing, no longer disjointed and he threw out a punch at Miu. Almost instinctively, she flinched, bringing her hands up to guard herself, her notebook falling to the ground as she did so. “Nishishi, I can't believe you fell for that!” 

Blinking, Miu moved her hands to find Ouma smiling at her, no longer in a punching pose with his hands behind his back. 

“E-Eh?” Internally cursing at her nervous stutter, Miu stiffened when she saw him grabbing her notebook. “H-Hey, don't touch that!” 

However, before she could grab the notebook away from the little shit, he backed away, now holding it in his hands. “Come on now, if we're trapped in here together there’s no need to keep secrets~” With that line of bullshit, he opened the notebook. “...Eh? What kind of language is this?” 

Snatching it back from him, she pocketed the notebook. Thieving little asshole... “What, can't read kanji? Guess you're not much of a fucking robot, huh?” 

“Oooh, that was kanji? Man, that was some pretty bad chicken scratch. Hopefully you're better at your talent than writing, or else you'd be a pretty useless ul-” A loud smack cut him off, Miu’s fist against his face. 

“I’m not-!” Gritting her teeth, Miu did her best to ignore the pain in her hand, before she turned around and left the garden, deciding to never talk with that aggravating shitbird ever again. However, before she could make it far, a loud bell caught her attention. Looking around, she noticed the oddly placed screen by the path turning on, displaying a presumably live video of the five bears sitting on a couch, various dolls of the ultimates strewn around them. 

“Okay okay, thank you beary much for waiting~!” cheered Monofunny. 

“We'll be waiting, you bastards!” said Monokid.

“So, everyone, please gather at the gym~” Once Monotaro finished speaking, Miu tuned out the rest of the skit, not really caring what the little shits had to say. Briefly wondering where the gym was, she suddenly felt the tablet she was given rumble in her pocket. Pulling it out, the screen turned on by itself, revealing that one of the icons had been colored in. Pressing it, a map of the academy popped up. 

Well, that'll make it easier to find the gym. Interesting that their captors actually gave them a map of the place. Probably some arbitrary reward system... 

Pausing, Miu pocketed the tablet. Last thing she needed was to feel even the slightest bit thankful to their captor. Looking up, she found Gonta standing alone, the others in the area having gone ahead. 

“Hey there big guy!” she greeted him with a grin, trying to forget how pissed off that supposedly robotic asshole made her feel. It definitely helped that Gonta immediately returned her greeting with a smile of his own.

“Hello Iruma-san!” he replied, “Gonta was waiting for your return while the others went to the gym. He didn’t think you should be left behind and was a bit worried you might get lost.”

“Heh, no need to worry about that. I’m the Ultimate Detective, there’s no way I would lose my way in a place like that.” Hell, she wasn’t even bragging that much. The map those bozos gave them would be helpful in filling in the gaps, but she’d already been sketching a map of the place in her notebook as she walked.

“Oooh, you’re the Ultimate Detective. Could’ve fooled me.” And then her mood immediately plummeted as a familiar voice spoke up behind her.

“Oh, hello. Gonta does not think we have met-” 

“He’s Kokichi Ouma, Ultimate Robot,” Miu interrupted Gonta’s greeting, glaring at annoying prick who was grinning up at her. “He’s also an asshole, so don’t bother with him.”

“Aw, that’s mean. So we had a bad first impression! That’s no reason to be so rude. And after you physically assaulted me too. You know you can get sued for that, right?”

“Good luck finding a court in here, dipshit. Wouldn’t it be destruction of property anyway? If you’re supposed to be a robot and all.”

“Wooooow, rude, crude and robophobic. Let’s add prejudiced that list of your faults. Which, if I’m counting right, and I am, includes volatile, rude-”

“And what about your faults?! You’re pretty fucking annoying for a tin-plated-”

“Um, Iruma-san? Ouma-san?” The two pause in their arguing, glancing at Gonta.

“Oh wow, you’re big.”

“Realized that just now?”

“Well I’m not the _detective_ here-”

“Um. Gonta isn’t sure what is happening, but aren’t we supposed to go to the gymnasium?” Oh, right, that.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s just get going.” With that, the two of them headed back to the school. Or at least it was supposed to be two.

“Why the fuck are you following us?”

“What? We’re just going in the same direction. It’s not like I want to hang out with a half-baked investigator and...give me a second, I’ll think of something. Colossus of Japan? Kong’s third-cousin, twice removed?”

“Shouldn’t a robot be quick-witted?”

“Shouldn’t a detective dress less like a tramp?”

“Says the twerp in leisure suit.”

“I’ll have you know that this is a perfectly normal three-piece suit. I should’ve guessed you wouldn’t have a sense of fashion, pinky.”

“You’re wearing a checkerboard.”

“ _Chess_. My theme is _chess_.”

“Oh, right, my mistake, Mr. Shogi.”

“Are you serious? That’s not even-”

Things continued like that for a while, up until the three of them finally arrived at the gymnasium. Gonta’s presence did prevent Miu and Ouma from escalating beyond taunts and barbs, but the detective was completely and utterly done with the aggravating bastard by the time they walked through the doors. 

Thankfully the pain in the ass left Miu and Gonta alone once they arrived there, most likely wandering off to bug someone else. More than likely, considering how he made a beeline for...that one kid. Saihara, right. Who was there along with everybody else she’d encountered in and out of the school. Looks like the three of them were the last to arrive. 

Taking note of the gym, Miu blinked, slowly realising that she hadn't been paying attention to anything else about the newly opened area that they traveled through the entire time she had spent arguing with the robot. She grimaced, annoyed at her own carelessness. That little bastard was going to be a pain... 

“Ah, everyone's here then,” said Akamatsu, getting everyone's attention by clapping her hands together, “I’m glad everyone is still okay.” As good as anyone could be in this situation, sure. Miu ignored the self-proclaimed leader’s dazzling smile in favor of taking a look around the room, taking a note of the gym’s design.

“I must say, despite what is happening, it is quite nice to meet other ultimates,” responded Iidabashi as he looked at everyone, smiling too. Kid looked way too carefree for his situation. Might not get out much. 

“Forgive me for saying this, but I do not believe this type of scenario can be considered ‘nice’ in any way shape or form,” came the muffled voice of Shinguji. Good to see he was still a sarcastic prick. Not. 

“It will be once we take care of those weird bears.” Smiling at everyone too, Momota gave them a thumbs up. “Next time they show up, I'll break them myself!” Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Also, what was with all the smiles? They were still captives.

“As a gentleman and a butler, Gonta will help however he can to assist you.” Okay, Gonta’s smile made some sense, he was just like that. Still, the rest of these bozos needed to take things more seriously.

“If I can break one of those robots, then I'll be glad to help.” Harukawa said, cracking her knuckles with a grim scowl. Okay, maybe not that seriously. Miu tried to be subtle as she took a couple steps away from the intimidating martial artist.

“As long as one of those robots aren't me, then go right ahead~!” cheered Ouma, receiving a glare in response. Hm. That was an interesting point. Their captors used robots, and here was another robot...Could be a coincidence, but...No, focus on other things first. More important things.

“Hey, you can break those things as much as you want, but you better pay attention right now cause I got some important shit to say.” Speaking up, Miu waited for everyone to look at her. “Whatever happens, just ignore those bears. Whoever is in charge probably wants to induce stockholm syndrome in us.” 

“H-Huh? Are you sure?” asked Saihara. No, of course not. Clearly the great detective, Miu Iruma, just says dumb shit whenever she feels like it. Fucking twig.

“Hm, that would explain why we're being allowed to wander around,” mused Tojo. Least someone got it.

“Nyeh… why would they want to do that?” 

“Ah, well, we are ultimates. They might be wanting to use us for something,” answered Tenko. Not a bad question, and not a bad answer. Surprising she didn’t stutter that time though.

“I suppose that would explain why they brought me as well. Even if I am a former ultimate, I still have some connections,” muttered Hoshi as he chewed on his candy. Also a good point.

“Forgive me for asking, but if that was the case, then what exactly are they planning on having us do?” questioned Shirogane, looking around nervously. 

“Whatever it is, it can't be good,” stated Amami, looking around too as he stated the most obvious thing in the world.

“All will be well as long as Kami-sama is here to guide us~” So she’s going to be useless this whole time, huh?

“Look whatever they have planned doesn't matter as long as we don't give in, you got that? We just have to focus on getting out of he-” 

“Eh?” Suddenly interrupting her, Gonta looked around, clearly confused. “Does anyone else here that?” Before she could as what he meant, five loud thuds caught Miu’s attention. 

The sounds of engines drowned out everyone’s screams as five large mechs surrounded them. Miu felt as if time froze for a single second, before she fell to the ground, her legs giving out. All around her, she could hear people running and screaming as they fled from the mechs. Yet all Miu could do was remain on the floor, staring up at the red and black monstrosity before her. 

Every single bit of it looked like it had been engineered to kill people, the massive gun on it's right arm looking like a cannon ready to blow people apart, while the arm on its left hand was big enough to easily crush anything in its grip. However, she was soon broken out of her stupor as she felt someone grabbing her, pulling her towards everyone else as they huddled against the wall. Looking up, Miu found Gonta gripping her arm as he pulled her to everyone else, immediately putting himself between the mechs and the other captives. 

“Hell yeah! Look at all those quivering babies!” Wait, she heard that voice before. 

“Hmph, we finally get to properly use these things.” That one too. Peeking around Gonta, Miu saw that all of the mechs were color-coded, matching those of the bears she had seen. 

“Now now everyone, no need to be so scared. As long as you listen to us, we won't have to hurt any of you, and I won't have to look at any gory bloodbaths. A win for everyone~!” Yeah, that was the pink one...

“W-What do you want!?” demanded Akamatsu, as she glared at the mechs, stepping forward despite her obvious fear. 

“Yay~! They're listening to us~!” 

“Ooh~ ooh~ I'm getting so excited! All these babies trembling before us is amazing!” Waving the arms of the mech around, Monokid, because it was definitely that little bastard, stared down at everyone. “Ah, can’t one of you just act up already? I can't hold back anymore! I want to punish one of you!” Suddenly, the mech honed in on Miu. “What about you girly? You already stepped on me once!” Ah, shit. “You wanna try it ag-” 

“Killing-Game.” 

...huh? 

Once again, Miu felt her legs give out, leaning against Gonta to try to stay standing as he glanced back at her with clear concern.

“What the hell Monodam?! You can't just cut me off li-” 

“Killing-Game.” Speaking up again, Monodam ignored Monokid, much to the other bear’s ire. 

Killing game? Why was it saying that? What the hell did that mean? It...It had to mean something. Had they been brought here to be murdered?!

The bears had started arguing while her thoughts were all awhirl, but even those stopped as Monokid leveled his gun at Monodam. For a moment, Miu wondered if this was where she would die. 

“Cease this mess…” Up until a disembodied and echoey voice spoke up, causing them to stop arguing. “My dear children, cease this unsightly violence…” 

“Daddy!?” Suddenly, all of the bears jumped out of their mechs, landing on the stage at the other end of the gym. “Where are you daddy!?” 

In that instant, the lights in the gym went off. However, before anyone could question what was happening, several spotlights lit up the stage. The next thing Miu saw was a monochrome bear flying up, before gracefully landing on a podium, its wings falling off.

“I am the god of this new world…” spoke the new bear in an insufferably grating voice. “And also, the headmaster of Saishu academy! That's right, I'm Monokuma! Nice to meet you, you bastards!” The bear greeted them as if they were supposed to know him. 

...So this was her life now, surrounded by an ever increasing span of oddity. Hm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here we go with the last of these swapped ultimates! Man that first ouma part was a pain to write.
> 
> Red: Ouma's just a pain in general.
> 
> "Ouma is the ultimate pain in the ass"-Miu. 
> 
> Anyways hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Make sure to leave a comment if you enjoyed it/want to vote for fte's. Also, just a small heads up, gonna be working on dr world next, mainlycauseistillhavetoplanthingsforthisfic, but I'll get back to this asap!


	5. The Radiant Monokuma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List of talent  
> Miu-detective  
> Gonta-butler  
> Kirumi- entomologist  
> Kiibo- anthropologist  
> Korekiyo- pianist  
> Kaede- supreme leader  
> Angie- adventurer  
> Kaito- tennis player  
> Shuichi- cosplayer  
> Yumeno- inventor  
> Tenko- caretaker  
> Ryouma- astronaut  
> Rantarou- ???  
> Tsumugi- magician  
> Maki- aikido practitioner  
> Ouma- robot

Glowering from up above, Monokuma remained silent as he stared at the ultimates. The silence dragged on as all the ultimates stood still, the fear they once had rapidly replaced with shock and confusion as they stared at the new bear, which seemed to irritate the bizarre plushy.

“...Seriously? No reaction? Didn't you bastards hear me? I said my name is Monokuma.” 

“Oh? Are we introducing ourselves to you?” Ouma asked, deliberately sounding innocent. 

“NO! Jeez! Kids these days, not knowing about the legendary monokuma bear…” 

...Did he just call himself a monobear bear? 

“Are you sure none of you haven’t heard about me? Legendary bear that only comes out for one month of the twelve? A signal of death and despair that signifies bastards like you are signaled to all start dying soon? A black-and-white bear that's better than a panda?” 

“H-Hey, what the hell was that about us dying!?” shouted Momota as he glared up at Monokuma. 

“Oh, you know, it's just average, run-of-the-mill killing game. Do none of you seriously not know this?” The double negatives were starting to get really annoying. Sighing, Monokuma shrugged as he put on a pair of glasses. “In that case, let me educate you on the long history of the Monokuma bear! You see, it all started when a certain bear and pig duo-” 

“We don't fucking care about that!” Miu shouted at the bears, unable to hold herself back. 

“Hmph, fine, no history lesson for the lot of you! Guess you'll just have to make do with killing each other.” 

“N-No! Gonta won't allow that!” 

“Just because you don't want it, doesn't mean poppa will let you goes opt out!” Monotarou shouted, all of the kubs glaring at them angrily. 

“Yeah! You guys better get ready for hell cause you-” 

“Eh, sure. You bastards don't need to kill one another.” ...Huh? A stunned silence washed over the room as both the ultimates and the kubs stared at Monokuma. Which, huh. Were the kubs, and dammit she was just going to keep thinking of them like that, really out of the loop, or...was this just another performance?

“P-Poppa!?” 

“Eh, what can you do? Besides, this sorta thing gets boring after a while. Not to mention the whole mix up is just so tiring...” Trailing off, Monokuma slumped onto the ground, seemingly aging before them. Which, while creepy, did seem to lend credence to the performance theory.

Also, mix up? Did they nab the wrong people? Confused for a moment, Miu soon realized the implications of his prior statement. This wasn't the first time their kidnappers had done this. Biting her lip, she stayed quiet. Bringing that up right now would just panic people...and draw way too much attention to herself.

“Does that mean we can go?” asked Iidabashi, raising his hand up as if he was in a class. 

“What? No, no, you gotta stay here for the rest of your lives~.” Pulling out a futon out of nowhere, the tired sounding Monokuma tucked himself in. So clearly they had these props prepared, right?

“W-What!?” cried Shirogane, several magician props falling out of her suit in her shock. 

“You can't expect us to be okay with living here!” shouted Akamatsu, pointing at the bear. 

As a majority of the people began to cry out, Monokuma began to shiver and shake in his futon, before suddenly jumping out of it. 

“Oh yeah! That's what I live for!” Now energetic, he gave them all a face-splitting grin. “The cries of your despair are the only thing that get me up, in more ways than one!” Seemingly beginning to do morning stretches, the unnerving cheerfulness poured off him. 

“I knew you weren't old enough to retire yet!” cheered Monosuke. 

“Poppa has made a full recovery!” clapping, Monofunny cheered alongside him. 

And all the while, Miu frowned, watching the spectacle. There had to be a point to this performance. They wouldn’t be doing something this ridiculous if there wasn’t a reason behind it. And if she could figure out that reason...

“Aaaaanyways, as I was saying, you lot don't need to kill each other! Instead, you can just live here forever! And if you don't find this place accommodating enough, kill to escape!” Monokuma explained, acting as if it was the easiest thing in the world to understand as he smiled down at them. “Upupupupupu, with that, I declare that the Saishu Academy Killing Game has begun!” 

With his final shout, all of the bears did a backflip, disappearing behind the stage. Suddenly, several simultaneous ringing sounds caught everyone’s attentions. Reaching into her pocket Miu pulled out the small E-book, noting that it’d turned on and opened up onto a new page by itself, referred to as the regulations of saishu academy.

1\. Students are required to cohabit at Saishu Academy for the remainder of the unforeseeable future.  
2\. When a murder is committed in the academy, a class trial will be held. Participation in this trial is mandatory for the surviving ultimates.  
3\. If the blackened is correctly identified during the class trial, only they will be punished.  
4\. If the blackened is not correctly identified, all students except them will be punished.  
5\. If the blackened wins, then they alone will graduate.  
6\. If innocent students continue to win, then the killing game will continue until only two remain.  
7\. Nighttime is officially designated between 10:00pm, and 8:00am, during those times the gym and dining hall are closed.  
8\. Violence against the headmaster, Monokuma, is strictly prohibited.  
9\. Monokuma will never directly participate in a murder.  
10\. Your monopads are important items, make sure not to damage them.  
11\. A body discovery announcement will occur when three or more students find a body.  
12\. Students have free reign to explore saishu as they see fit.  
13\. Students who violate any of these rules will be punished via exisals.  
14\. The headmaster may add any additional rules at any time.

Scrolling through the new list, Miu could only grimace at the effort their captor had gone to with the rules. Of course, even with the multitude of rules, there were still loopholes, which would explain why there was an additional rule that the bear could add more. Hm, best not to point them out for now, loopholes could prove useful. 

And even if she didn't know the specifics of it, it was clear what a class trial would be. Not to mention that, if what she saw so far wad any indication, it was clear what would happen to the ‘blackened’.

However, one rule in particular did stand out.

The killing game would end when only two remained. It was obvious to see with only two students a class trial would be impossible to hold, since it would be obvious who the killer was. But the fact that there was no mention of what would happen to those two unnerved her. Best case scenario, those two got to leave. Worst case scenario, whoever was behind this got rid of them as well.

“So much for that Stockholm angle, huh?” And of course he just had to talk. 

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that they wanted us to kill each other!?” shouted Miu as she glared at Ouma. 

“Then maybe you should keep quiet until you have all the facts~? I mean, what's the point of getting our hopes up and making us think we wouldn't get hurt?” 

“A better question would be why did they create this school in the first place,” noted Tojo, her eyes scanning the room. “Even if they only used up an abandoned building, it is clear that they went to considerable effort to set up a place that we could live in. And if they just wanted us to die, then why set up all these rules?” 

“I'm not sure if my word means much, but maybe they gain something from us staying?” offered Amami, still visibly shaken.

“To hell with whatever they have planned!” Raising his hand up, Momota was about to slam his e-book down, before a shout stopped him. 

“Don't do that!” As she raised her voice, the once trembling Akamatsu suddenly appeared to be a shining example of calmness. “Didn't you read the rules we were given?” 

“E-Eh? S-So what if I didn’t?!” 

“If you aren't careful, then who knows what will happen to you!” Taking a deep breath, Akamatsu addressed everyone. “I know things are out of hand tight now, but we need to think rationally before we do anything!” 

“Then what do you propose we do?” asked Shinguji, once again tapping his arm. Definitely a nervous tic.

“For now, we should continue investigating this place, or share any info that could be useful. However, if we do further investigating, then I suggest we all pair up with someone, so that if anyone finds anything, one of them can continue searching while the other goes to find everyone.” As Akamatsu spoke, the air in the room seemed to change, the fear and confusion in the room melting away into a sense of calm. Girl certainly knew how to work a room. “Of course, this is only if all of you want to. Anyone who isn't up for it can find a place to rest.”

Miu had to admit it. Even if she didn't believe Akamatsu was a ‘supreme leader’, she definitely had to admit the girl had a ways with words. Leaving it up to the individual would make them more inclined to actually participate in things, which might be handy for investigating this whole place. Though a part of her was kind of concerned that the others might wind up unintentionally tampering with things. 

“Oh, Oh! I know something that can help!” Raising his hand to catch everyone's attention, Ouma gave everyone a cheeky smile. “I saw a manhole in the boiler room.” 

…

“Why didn't you say that fucking sooner!?” yelled Miu. Aggravating little asshole was probably waiting for the right moment to do a ‘big reveal’.

“Weeell~ I couldn't lift it up myself, and I'm a robot, so I thought it was pointless. Not to mention my memory banks got messed up for a bit. You'd be surprised what a hit to the head can do~” And of course he'd push the blame onto her...

“I'll have to talk with you later about not being upfront with your info, Ouma-kun. But for now, can you show us the way to the boiler room?” asked Akamatsu. 

“Sure thing! Everyone follow me!” Making a bizarre trumpeting noise with his mouth, Ouma began to lead the way out of the gym and to the boiler room in an exaggerated march. Nobody was copying him, and it was pretty obvious that some were pretty begrudging in following the twerp. As Miu made her way out, she noted Akamatsu walking over to help Shirogane pick up her fallen props. They’d probably be okay. They wouldn't be alone. 

Miu left the gym, trailing at the back of the crowd, keeping an eye on everyone. However, it seemed she wasn't the only one doing so.

“Eh, Chabashira? Weren't you near the front?” 

“O-Oh, Iruma-san! Y-Yeah, Tenko was up there b-but… that annoying menace was up there as well!” Her face wrinkling in disgust, Chabashira’s eyes darted towards the front of the crowd, where Momota was. Which didn’t really explain why she moved all the way to the back.

“...Sure, yeah, that makes sense.” Better give her the benefit of the doubt, for now. Her caretaking might just make her keep track of everyone on an instinctual level. Though, hm. It might be the most reasonable explanation, but that didn’t make it the right one. “All that caretaking must help with keeping calm, huh?”

“Y-Yeah! If Tenko couldn't keep calm when a kid she was taking care of cried, she wouldn't be much of a caretaker!” Giving her a bright smile, albeit a shaky one, Tenko continued to keep pace with Miu.

“If that's the case, then what do you think about what's happening?” At the question, the smile became more apologetic than shaky.

“Ah… Tenko isn't sure. She does find it weird that we're given a place to live in this ‘game’, rather than just being put in a rundown building.” 

“Yeah, if they just wanted to make sure we didn't escape, fortifying a building wouldn't take much effort. And if they wanted to keep it on the down low, the giant cage above us doesn't exactly scream subtle.” 

“Maybe it's part of that Stockholm thing? You know, make us all afraid and more willing to listen?” 

“...Hm, maybe.” Miu gave a non-committal answer as she began to doubt her previous hypothesis. Nothing about what was happening made sense, and the only piece of the puzzle that could make any sense of what was happening was out of her reach. 

Remaining silent for the rest of the trip, Miu pulled out her notebook, noting down all the new info she received, while also scratching out anything that no longer made sense. However, as she wrote, she couldn't help but glance at everyone. Even if a situation like this could only be solved by everyone working together, her own instincts told her not to trust anyone. 

In her line of work, she had quickly learned that something like a motive was never a guarantee in some cases. Some people killed just to kill or jumped to murder in the heat of the moment, and even if no one there appeared to be willing to commit murder, it wouldn't be hard to put up a front for some people. So in a situation like this, anyone could snap if they didn't get out fast enough. 

So, as the saying goes, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 

Soon enough they arrive at the boiler room, Ouma standing next to an obvious manhole cover. “Here it is~” Kneeling down by it, he gave it several exaggerated tugs. “See?” 

“Uh… maybe if we all worked together? It could take a bit but we could slowly budge it,” offered Saihara, before moving the brim of his hat down as everyone looked over at him. 

“Actually, may Gonta try? Gonta has had to do heavy lifting before.” 

“If anyone can do it, it's probably him,” Hoshi muttered, leaning against a wall. 

“Don't worry if you can't big guy! We'll work together to figure something out!” Momota gave him a thumbs up as he cheered him on. 

“Nyeeh…I could probably make something. If I had more than just my tools…” Yumeno muttered as she glanced down at her tools, before glancing at the monitor nearby, as if contemplating whether she should dismantle it for parts.

Tucking her notebook back in her pocket, Miu watched as Gonta walked over to the cover. Internally sighing, Miu began to frown as the chances of Gonta being able to lift it up were next to nonexistent. Even if he was strong enough to lift it, the positioning of the cover meant he would only be able to use a few fing-... 

Staring blankly, Miu tried to process the fact that Gonta lifted up the cover with only two fingers. That...hm. “Holy shit, you’re strong. Or robo-bitch is really weak.”

“Hey! Not all of us can be the incredible hulk like him!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say iron squirt.” Walking over to the hole, Miu peered down into the interior below. “Well, at least there's something down there. Good job, Gonta!” 

“Thank you!” Setting down the cover by the hole, Gonta gave her a gentle smile. “Make sure to watch where you step, Gonta doesn't want anyone to accidentally hurt themselves!”

“Congratulations aside, I don't suppose you're waiting for an invitation to go in?” asked Harukawa. However, before Miu could respond, the arrival of the last two ultimates caught their attention.

“Oh, I thought that the hole was covered?” Surprise evident on her face, Akamatsu walked over to the opening, peering down into the darkness too, Shirogane following closely behind her.

“Kami-sama blessed Gonta with divine strength so he could lift it~” Honestly, the fact that Gonta had been able to lift up a heavy manhole cover so easily without any leverage and didn’t even break a sweat or start panting for breath almost made Miu believe it had been some kind of god. Almost. Big guy could probably wrestle bears as a hobby. 

“Oh, thank you Gonta-kun!” Straightening her back, Akamatsu looked to the crowd of ultimates. “Everyone, I'm going to head down first. If everything is fine, I'll call up, okay?” 

“No way, we can't let you go down first!” protested Momota, before thumping his chest. “I'll go first!” 

“Eh? No way! Since I'm a supreme leader, it's my duty to go first.” 

“As a butler, Gonta should be the first to go in!” 

“I volunteer to not go in first! Just because I'm a robot doesn't mean I have a backup of my data!”

“If it's to check for danger, I'll go. As is, I'm the most expendable.”

Hm. This is getting nowhere fast. Doesn’t look like too bad a climb either.

“Perhaps we should put it to a vote? Historically speaking, it would be the best method.” 

“Tenko thinks it's okay whoever goes in first. As long as it isn't a girl.”

“Nyahaha, Kami-sama says whoever goes in first will be perfectly okay!” 

“So everyone else will be in danger then?” 

“Hey, numbnuts, the coast is clear!” shouted Miu from the bottom of the ladder, standing in a rather spacious room. Silence greeted her as everyone realized she was no longer standing by to them. She decided to take the time to scan the room with her eyes as people began to climb down after her, and her eyes widened at the first thing she noticed: a wide hole in the wall that seemed to lead nowhere with how dark it was, and right next to it was a small sign that said exit.  
Miu’s hypothetical bullshit meter broke. 

After all the trouble their captors went through to get them there, it would be idiotic to leave such an obvious escape route. Sure, it could be argued that they didn't think they could lift the manhole, but if that was the case, who put the sign there? It was obviously new when compared to the school’s architecture, so there was no way it was already there beforehand. 

So, chances were that it all was left there intentionally, but as for why, she had no idea. Unless they had planned on blocking it off, with the exit sign being there to mock them, and they ran out of money to do so. ...No, that was just too dumb. They could just block it with some boards if they really wanted to. The tunnel was here for a reason.

Glancing around some more, Miu laid her eyes on one of the monitors that had been spread across saishu, hidden in a dark corner of the room. Which meant chances were that they were meant to find this place. 

“Normally, one would assume that a manhole would lead to a sewer, but this is far too spacious for one. It's more akin to that of a movie sewer,” Tojo said as she reached the bottom of the ladder, her pale eyes glancing roaming around the room. 

“Yeah, this place is way too big. Unless some foreign country has enormous sewers compared to the ones in Japan?” 

“I can assure you that none that I have seen are like this.” 

Silence seemed to fall on the two, before an unspoken agreement was made between them. This was fucking weird. Soon enough, everyone arrived, staring in shock at the supposed exit. 

“Y-You know, as someone who spends her life using tricks, something like this screams that it's an obvious trick.” 

“Even if it isn't, Tenko is sure that it is far too dark to proceed.” 

“Nyeeh… if only I could make a flashlight or something…” Once again, Yumeno glanced at the monitor.

“Hm…” Remaining silent in thought, Akamatsu did her best to peer into the hole. “...Okay, everyone, I know this seems dangerous, but if this is a way out then we need to investigate.” 

“If I may intrude, aside from the fact that this seems to be an obvious trap, why hasn't Monokuma appeared?” questioned Shinguji, and, even if she didn't want to, Miu agreed with the sarcastic twig.

“Maybe he hasn't noticed?” offered Saihara. 

“There doesn't seem to be cameras, so it's possible.” Agreeing with him, Amami glanced at the supposed exit.

“There weren’t cameras upstairs either, green bean,” Miu pointed out. “We can’t assume that there aren’t any cameras or listening devices around just because we can’t see them.” 

“Putting listening devices in the pads wouldn't be that difficult,” Yumeno muttered, causing Miu to internally curse herself. Something like that should have been obvious, hell it probably had a tracking device in it as well. Of course not like she could just ditch it, who knows what that bear would do.

“Regardless, we should still investigate, but I do think it would be better if only a small group went in,” Akamatsu said, glancing around at the rest of them, “Is anyone willing to go with me?” 

“Of course! With Kaito Momota on your side, there's no need to worry!” ...Well, at least he’d make a decent meat shield.

“As a gentleman, Gonta is willing to be at the front.” Now that was actually reassuring.

“As the only one with martial arts training I should be the one to go, the rest of you can stay.”

“Hey! Just because you're the Ultimate Aikido Practitioner, doesn't mean you're the only one who knows martial arts,” Miu pointed out, frowning as Harukawa stared back at her, looking apathetic. “Besides, you'll need my genius brain in case we find anything worth investigating.” 

“That seems good enough, a group of five is neither too big nor too small. Momota-kun, if we find anything, I hope you don't mind going back to inform everyone?” 

“Of course not! Even people on my school's track team can't keep up with me, so I'll be able to deliver info in no time!”

With that the group of five stood in front of the opening, staring into the darkness. Of course, Miu would be lying if she wasn't hesitant to go in. Regardless, she followed the group, Akamatsu at front leading them. Investigating meant doing some uncomfortable things, so screw it.

“Jeez, I can barely see in front of me,” muttered Momota. 

“If you're going to complain, then just stick to the back.”

“I'm not complaining! I'm just stating the facts!” 

Ignoring their bickering, Miu did her best to strain her eyes as she scoured the tunnel, blinking away the sting as her vision adjusted to the darkness. So far, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, or as ordinary as this place could be. Of course, given the lack of light, it was impossible to tell. 

“Oh! Gonta sees something!” Walking a bit faster, Gonta soon stopped in front of some kind of gateway or something, a huge set of metal bars blocking the way. “...Gonta thinks we can't go any further.” 

“Maybe this was the trap they intended… make us think they left this place untampered.” 

“Well we can't just give up here!” 

“Are you going to do something, or are you just gonna talk?” 

“I'll show you who's all talk!” Spurred on by Harukawa’s comment, Momota brings up his leg and kicks the bar. Gripping his leg as the pain of the obvious bad plan hits him, Momota grits his teeth. “Fuck!” 

“Yeah, maybe don't kick metal bars.” Sighing Miu looked up at the bars. “So this plan was a bust…”

“Actually, Gonta heard something when Momota-san kicked the bars.” 

“Was it the sound of his bones cracking, or him realizing that it was a bad plan?” 

“No, Gonta heard metal scrapping.” 

“Huh?” Glancing back at the metal bars, Miu leaned down to look at the floor. It was very slight, but there was small markings on the floor, as if the bars moved. “Hey look at that Momota! Seems your dumb idea worked!” Still clutching his leg, the tennis player gave Miu a thumbs up.

“Can you explain, Iruma-san?” 

“It might take a bit, but the bars seem moveable. If we push on it, we should be able to get through!” 

“No point in standing around, let's get to it,” Harukawa said as she walked up to the gate and began to push it, everyone soon following soon after. Gritting her teeth, Miu pushed her entire weight against the bar in front of her, the metal moving only millimetres at a time, even with Gonta helping. Once there was enough space, Harukawa slipped through the opening, before pulling from the other side, until there was enough space for everyone to slip through.

Panting heavily, Miu leaned against a wall, doing her best to catch her breathe. Glancing around she noticed everyone in similar states of exhaustion from that action. 

“Guess… they didn't expect us… to be able to move that,” said Momota, inbetween pants. 

“In case… they did… we should at least… rest for a bit…” Also in between pants, Akamatsu sat against a wall. 

Remaining silent, Harukawa stared down the tunnel. The gi wearing girl appeared in the best condition, her breathing barely heavier than before. “...I’ll go on ahead. All of you can stay here.” With that she began to walk. 

“Hey, don't go on-” A loud clang cut off Miu as she reached out to grab Harukawa. Glancing behind her, she found the metal bars back in it's previous position, effectively trapping them there. However, before she could react, a click caught her attention. Looking forward, she saw Harukawa falling, the ground under her feet suddenly gone.

Eyes widening in shock, Miu reached out to grab her, Harukawa doing the same to hold onto Miu. Gripping her hand, she pulled back as hard as she could. However, despite Miu’s best attempt, the sudden fall and the bad positioning of her feet caused her to fall in after her. Staring down at Harukawa, all Miu could do was brace herself for the fall, the sound of the others yells reaching her ears.

Oddly enough, the final thought Miu had before falling in was that she wished she’d at least had a decent meal before she died. 

\-----------

??? Theater

A lone light shines on an empty stage, a giant crack going down the middle, as a disembodied voice begins to speak

_People are often quick to judge accidents as a bad thing. As in, nothing good can come from any accident, only further misfortune. However, that is often not the case._

_Bumping into someone can lead to an unexpected friendship. Stopping to pick something up can save you from a tragedy. Forgetting your wallet can stop you from making a needless expense._

_However, for every accident that can lead to something good, there is an accident that leads to something bad._

_In the end, the only way to know whether a given accident was good or bad is to see it through to the end. Yet, for those experiencing it, it is impossible to say whether it would be better than what they could have experienced if the accident never happened. And for those who can see both, can they truly say which is better, if they experienced neither?_

The light turns off as the curtains close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo everyone sorry for the Wait, been mainly working on twdr and an original story red and I created. 
> 
> Red: Yep yep. So now we're going to be focusing on the Radiant Detective for a bit, so if you want that, yay! And if you want TWDR, less yay, but we'll get back to it later. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> Make sure to vote for free time events, next chapter will be the last before those start popping up so you still have time!


	6. Not dead yet

Miu slowly blinked as she sat up, feeling a cold metal floor under her. Weird. Hitting the ground should have meant death, or at least injury.

“Hey, she's up!” Still sluggish, Miu continued to blink blearily as she looked around, a bit dazed until she realized she was back in the spacious room at the bottom of the ladder, and that the people around her were those who hadn't gone in. That certainly woke her up.

“What the shit? I'm not dead?” asked Miu as she looked around, noting that the rest of the team she’d gone in with also laying on the ground, Harukawa seemingly waking up as well. Spotting her hat on the floor near her, she snapped it up and placed it back on her head, where it belonged.

“What happened in there?” Amami questioned as he looked down at her. 

Rubbing her head as she began to realize how sore her entire body felt, Miu did her best to remember. “Fucking… Harukawa and I fell in a hole… I think we got sprayed with something when we landed.” Probably some form of sedative to make sure they stayed knocked out. “Next thing I know, I'm here. How the hell did we even get here anyways?” 

“A hole opened up in the wall and all of you came tumbling out,” explained Saihara, “Not all at once though.” Huh. So that meant they wouldn't get trapped in there if they went in again. Somewhat nice to know, but Miu wasn't exactly excited to head back in.

Seeing a hand being extended to her, courtesy of Shirogane, Miu accepted it. As Shirogane helped her stand up, Chabashira did the same for Harukawa, who looked pretty pissed over what happened, clearly fuming.

“Regardless of what may have occurred, all of you are quite lucky to have avoided injury,” spoke up Shinguji. “There is no one here with a medical talent, so that little adventure of yours could have been quiet dangerous. Although Yonaga-san does seem to have some medical knowledge.” And you couldn’t have mentioned any of that earlier, prick?

“Kami-sama blessed Angie with the ability to take care of her own injuries~ He also instructed her to assist those in need with this knowledge.” Well, there's that at least. 

Rubbing her still sore arms, Miu began to go over what happened in her mind. If they wanted to go in again, they would have to traverse the dark, unless Yumeno made some flashlights. Then they would have to push open the metal bars again, which, now that she thought about it, were probably there to tire them out, and after that they’d have to avoid setting off any traps that were placed along the route. At least now she could see why they left that place open. 

So, unless everyone wanted to undergo possibly dangerous game of trial and error, they didn't have an escape route, if it even was one anyways. 

“What the hell! Why didn't any of you come help us when we started yelling!?” Momota’s loud voice abruptly broke Miu out of her thoughts. She looked over to see him awake and standing up as he glared at the ultimates who had remained behind. 

“Y-Yelling? What do you mean?” asked Iidabashi as he took a step back, blatantly nervous. Though it was obvious he was just scared by Momota yelling instead of feeling guilty for something.

“The yelling we did, asking for help!” 

“Hey, we didn't hear anything!” yelled back Chabashira.

“Bullshit!” 

“Please calm down, Momota-kun!” Standing up, with Gonta slowly picking himself up too behind her, Akamatsu met his glare. “There has to be an explanation for why they couldn't hear us!”

“I'd love to hear what that is then!” 

“Sound dampeners,” answered Yumeno, as she scratched her cheek. Girl could certainly stay cool under pressure. Then again, it wasn’t like the pressure was really focused on her. “If they could make a bunch of mecha, making something to stop sound from traveling wouldn't be that difficult. Either that or they just slid something out to completely block everything once you got past the right spot.” Given how dark it was, the latter was entirely possible. 

“See, Momota-kun? They wouldn't just ignore us for no reason.” 

“...if you say so.” Scratching the back of his head, the tennis player frowned sheepishly. “I don't know alot about that stuff, so if the ultimate inventor says so then it's probably true. Sorry.” 

“H-Hey, no harm no foul,” replied Amami, his hands up in a placating manner. 

“Nishishishi, so many people who jump to conclusions here~” 

“So, Akamatsu-san, can you tell us exactly what happened?” questioned Shirogane, her head cocking curiously. 

“I'm not sure exactly...with how dark it was, it was really hard to tell what happened. But one thing’s for certain, this escape route is full of traps. If it's even something we can use to escape that is.” 

“So we can't use it?” The magician asked, frowning and staring down at the floor. “How cruel can our captors be…” A solemn silence fell on the group as it set in that their only hope for escape was never there in the first place. 

“Did someone say cruel!?” Before it was promptly broken by the annoying bear. Seemingly popping out of nowhere, the bear catches everyone's attention. 

“Good bearning!” Until the kubs snatched the attention away. Bearning?

“So they did know about this place…” muttered Amami as he looked at the bears. 

“Have you come here to taunt us?” questioned Chabashira as she glared at them. 

“You know it!” taunted Monokuma. 

“You tell her, Poppa!” 

“Yeah! I can't believe they didn't see through this escape route! Even I saw through it!” 

“...You didn't see through it at all, did you?”

“Hell yeah! The only thing more useless than that is Monodam!” 

“...” 

...Suddenly, the trap-filled tunnel didn't seem that bad. 

“Then get out of here! You had your fun tricking us with your fake escape route!” yelled Momota. 

“Huh? What are you talking about? It's an actual escape tunnel.” Responded Monokuma with a quizzical tilt of his head. 

“It is?” asked Akamatsu in a stunned tone. Is she actually believing them? Jeez, come on, you should be smarter than this.

“Of course it is, Poppa wouldn't lie!” Riiiiight. Of course not. Totally going to believe the bears.

“So get ready to drag and crawl your way through hell, kiddies!” 

“But you know, you are all ultimates, so if you work together you can make it out!” 

“...” 

“Feel free to cut everyone off if it helps you escape! The needs of the one outweigh the group, after all!” 

“Upupupupu, make sure to struggle until your last breath~ Afterall, it makes your despair taste all the better~” With his final taunt, Monokuma left, the kubs following after him. His words echoed in everyone's ears as the room went silent again.

“...It’s as if our captor is only doing this to make us suffer,” muttered Iidabashi. Hm. That was an interesting idea. Sadist looking for thrills? Needs to be rich and well-connected to pull something like this off...Maybe a group?

“Being evil for the sake of evil… certainly not unheard of, but to go to this extent...” Trailing off, Shinguji glared at the spot Monokuma had been in. So some things could rattle him.

“H-Hey, don't tell me you guys are already giving up! So what if that tunnel is trapped? If we keep at i-” 

“Momota-kun,” Akamatsu interrupted, sounding completely serious. “While it is true that tunnel might be a means of escape, it’s way too dangerous. The traps we dealt with might not have been lethal, but who's to say the rest won't? And even if they aren't, too many injuries would only put us at risk.

“That being said,” continuing before he could cut her off, Akamatsu gave Momota a small smile. “We also shouldn't give in that easily. It may seem impossible, but that doesn't mean it is.” 

“Then what do you suggest we do then?” Miu questioned as she quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yumeno-san, you said you could make flashlights?” 

“If I had the right parts…” 

“Well, if at any point in time you're able to make some, please inform me. Those would be able to help us immensely. As for what we should do right now, rest is the best option.” 

“Gonta agrees! Everyone is stressed, so continuing on like this will only backfire on us!” 

“Exactly. Not to mention, none of us have really eaten since we've arrived here. I can't be the only one starving right?” Smiling in hopes that her joke would ease the tension, Akamatsu waited for someone to respond. 

“...You know, I still think we should continue trying, but when you put it like that, I can't really argue. You're really amazing, Akamatsu-san.” Smiling at her, Momota spread his arms. “Wanna hug?” 

…

“...” After a moment, Akamatsu smiled back. “...I'm sorry, the laws of my country forbid me from hugging someone from the opposite sex if they’re not part of my family.” 

Stifling a laugh, Miu covered her mouth at the rather blatant sounding lie. If nothing else, Akamatsu could definitely make her supposed talent work for her. 

“Wow, you must have it rough then. Well, I'd rather not get you in trouble once we got out of here, so no hug needed!” 

“Not to be rude, but since we all seem in agreement, should we head back up?” Saihara questioned. “If we're lucky, those dorms are probably opened by now.” 

“They better be. I'm not gonna be sleeping on the floor, and I’m sure as shit not gonna sleep in that locker,” Miu muttered, already imagining how bad her body would ache if she did that.

“Angie saw sleeping bags in the storage room! She'll happily show everyone the wonders of sleeping under the stars while talking about Kami-sama~” 

“It wouldn't be my first time, so I can assist you if necessary, Yonaga-san. Although I am unsure if I would be able to sleep outside without the sounds of insects…” 

“Ah, Tenko has had to rough it before. She knows plenty about camping.” 

Despite the current situation, Miu couldn't help but smile. Even if she was trapped here, at least she was with lively people. 

“Oh, before everyone leaves, please come by the cafeteria. Gonta may not have a lot of time, but he will do his best to at least prepare a snack for everyone so no one goes to sleep with an empty stomach. Ah, Gonta almost forgot.” Turning to Ouma, the butler looked apologetic, which was pretty wasted on the little bastard. “Gonta almost forgot that you are a robot… is there anything you want?” 

“Hm? Well I want a lot of things, but nothing to eat. Unlike you meatbags, I don't have to eat to survive~” Hm. Wonder what he uses for energy then?

“Oh, well, Gonta does not want you to feel left out, so if you require anything, just ask!” 

“...In that case, I'll keep that favor for later. For now though,” Walking to the ladder, he began to climb up. “I have my beauty sleep that I absolutely need~” So no eating, but sleeping is necessary? Weird. Unless he just likes to sleep? Hm. Do robots dream? Questions for later.

Walking over to Gonta, Miu couldn't help but frown as she looked up at the robot. “You know, you probably shouldn't promise anything to that mophead.” 

“Gonta is the ultimate butler, Iruma-san. It is his duty to help people.” Smiling down at her, Gonta pushed up his glasses. “But Gonta will make sure to deny his request if it is something that may harm others.” 

Looking away from the ladders as everyone else began to climb up too, Miu smiled back. “Glad to hear that.” Fishing out her notebook and e-book, Miu noted that the e-book hadn't been cracked, which was odd unless whatever her and Harukawa had landed in was actually padded. At the very least, that would explain why they weren't that injured. 

Pocketing the E-book, she began to write down every new thing she learned as she waited for her turn to climb the ladder. However, once the room began to empty up, she noticed something, or rather someone. Standing by herself, Harukawa stared, unblinking, directly at Miu. However, before she could ask what she wanted, the aikido practitioner walked closer, most likely on her way to the ladder.

“About what happened in the tunnel.” As she passed by Miu, Harukawa slowed down, staring at her for a moment before a smirk adorned her features, her bangs shadowing her eyes. “I'll make sure to remember it.” With that said, she quickly climbed out. 

...What the shit!? Was that supposed to be a thank you, or was she threatening her!? Did she accidentally knee Harukawa in the gut when they fell!? All she tried to do was save Harukawa from plummeting to her death!

Sighing loudly, Miu pushed what just happened to the back of her mind along with all the other bizarre bullshit currently fucking up her life, before climbing the ladder. Arriving at the top, she exited the boiler room, and began the trek to the dining hall. At least she would make sure something was in her stomach before the day ended. 

However, as she made her way to said destination, Miu decided to make a small detour to the dorms that they were meant to sleep in. 

Walking into the dormitory, the first thing she noted was that some doors were already ajar, signaling that she wasn't the first to check out their own room. That wasn’t too surprising. Most people would be curious. Walking over to the room that had a small pixelated image of her, she entered, briefly wondering why a nameplate couldn't have been used instead. 

Entering the room, Miu found a rather simple looking abode. Within appeared to be a bed, some chairs, a desk, a table, and a shelf, presumably to put anything she got from the storage room on, and even a tv, though she doubted her captor paid for cable. Well, it wasn't much, but it would do. For now, anyways. As her eyes continued to scan the room, they soon spotted something on the table. 

A single key. 

Picking up the key, she looked it over. It must be the key to the room. At least she'd be able to lock the door. 

However as Miu stared at the key, she suddenly felt like someone was staring at her too. Turning around, she found the green bear, Monodam, standing behind her. 

“W-Where the hell did you come from!?” 

“...” Ever silent, Monodam continued to stare up at her. 

“Get the hell out of here!” 

“...SHARE-KEY...GET-ALONG!” 

...Huh? But before Miu could ask just what the bear meant, he ran, leaving the bedroom.

Great, cryptic messages, just what she needed. Well, it wasn't worth it to chase after the bear if it was going to do its little disappearing trip again. Back to examining the room.

Noting the two doors in the room, one which was obviously a closet, Miu decided to check the door that was closer to the bed first. Opening it, she found a bathroom that seemed to be already stocked with toiletries. Useful, if she planned on using the room. Sadly, as wanted as a stress shower was, she didn't want to use any showers until she was sure there was no cameras in there with her.

Closing the bathroom door, she headed to the other door. She didn’t expect to find much in there, unless their captor decide to up the creep factor by stealing all her clothes too. Turned out that was pretty close to what happened.

Inside the closet were various copies of her current attire, down to the boots and gloves. Miu only had one copy of the clothes she was wearing, which she was _currently_ wearing, as established. So, for some reason, her captor decided to make multiple copies of her one specific outfit.

Closing the closet, she noticed what appeared to be a dresser underneath the tv. Tentatively reaching forward, she grabbed the handle and opened it. And then promptly closed it. 

So, not only were her clothes and accessories copied, but also her spats and choice of underwear.

At that moment, Miu decided no one would hold it against her if she gouged out their captor’s eyes. 

Audibly sighing, Miu left the dorm room, deciding she was far too hungry to deal with anything else. With that, she made her way to the dining hall, ignoring anything else that may have caught her attention as she did so. For now, at least.

Arriving at the dining hall, she glanced around, noting the various faces in there as well. Aside from Gonta, who seemed to be in the kitchen, Hoshi, Tojo, Saihara, and Yonaga were all there, the latter two seemingly talking. Or, rather, Yonaga seemed to do the talking about her Kami as Saihara seemed to do his best to just nod along. 

So sitting closer to the former two it was. 

Walking over to the former astronaut and Entomologist, Miu sat down at the head of the table, the two of them at either side of her. “Hey there.”

“Hello,” greeted Hoshi with a slight inclination of his head. 

“Greetings.” Turning to look at Miu, Tojo frowned slightly. “My apologies for earlier. I did not intend to be dismissive, but I tend to do so when ‘on the hunt’, as it were.” 

“Huh? Eh, forget about it. Stuff like that happens, and hey, at least you were trying to help.” 

“Be that as it may, I'll do my best to not to so again. Which shouldn't be that hard given our situation…” muttering the last part, Tojo looked down with a little frown. She seemed to be kinda upset. Not surprising, given that her talent was entomology, and there were no bugs here. Although, there were probably ultimates out there who disliked their talents, now that Miu thought about it. It was weird to think, but it probably did happen.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” asked Hoshi.

“Nothing that important,” responded Miu as she propped her arm on the table. “Tojo here was just more focused on seeing if she could find bugs than talking.”

“Once again, I apologize.” 

“And like I said, it wasn't that big of a deal.” Really, even if Miu thought Tojo being distracted was a bad thing, her meetings with certain other ultimates would have dwarfed that incident in terms of sheer annoyance. “Anyways, I'd rather just focus on eating something after seeing the dorm.” 

“Were they that bad?” 

“No, but it seems our captor is an even bigger creep than I thought.” 

“...I find myself hesitant to ask.” 

“I don't know about your rooms, but apparently our captor decided to make copies of everything I was wearing and put them in the closet and dresser. Fucker probably did the same for everyone as well.” 

“...Ah, that is… disconcerting.” 

“Hm…well I suppose that will make getting changed easy.” Well, that was certainly a way to see things. 

“If they were gonna be creeps, they should have just stolen my clothes.” Just because she likes the clothes she has on doesn't mean it's the only thing she wants to wear, damn it! However, before Miu could continue to mentally complain, Gonta came out of the kitchen, pushing a cart with a pot and several bowls on top of it.

“It may not seem like much, but trust Gonta, lentil soup is very filling.” Walking to the table, Gonta began to place bowls in front of everybody sitting there and filled them with the soup he’d made. “Please ask Gonta if you want anything added to your soup.” 

Now, given the situation, Miu would normally be pretty damn suspicious of any food in a place like this. However, given that Gonta had announced that he was the one making food, he would be the immediate suspect if something did happen. So, deciding to trust the giant’s sense of kindness and self-preservation, she grabbed the spoon that was given to her and dug in. 

Oh damn, that was good. Miu felt herself begin to relax as the warm soup went down her throat, letting out a contented sigh. “Fucking hell, I was hungrier than I thought…”

“Yeah, that tends to happen,” muttered Hoshi as he took a...sip? Bite? Shit, how does soup work…? Also-

“The fuck does that mean?”

He shrugged. “It means what it does. You seem to curse a lot.”

Miu raised an eyebrow at him, then shrugged too, deliberately exaggerating the motion. “It’s what I fucking do. Got a problem?”

He shrugged again. Tch…

“So, bugsy, no luck at all on the ento-front?” Miu asked, turning her attention to Kirumi.

“...Bugsy?”

“Does it bug you?”

“Well, not partic...are you doing that deliberately?”

“Might.” Miu grinned. “Hope it’s not-”

“Please don’t say ‘bugging you’.”

“Alright, alright, I know when to hold off on the jokes. Seriously though, no signs of any bugs at all?”

Tojo slowly nodded, looking at her a bit warily, like she might launch bug puns at her at any second. Miu wouldn’t, of course. She would need to actually research more bug stuff to come up with any good ones. “No, which is...somewhat disquieting. Insects are easily the most numerous class of arthropods on the planet and can be found nearly everywhere in nature. To not see any sign of them, particularly in an area with such abundant plant life is…”

“Fucked up?”

Tojo blinked at Miu’s suggestion, but slowly nods. “It does not feel right.”

“Hm. So could we be in a sealed environment?” It looked like there were gaps in between the bars of the ‘cage’, but maybe that was being covered by some kind of glass? Maybe they had some kind of air filter around here too, to keep them from suffocating...But then how did they clean this place completely of bugs? They couldn’t bring people into a sealed environment without jeopardizing that seal…

“I...do not see how that would be possible.”

“Hm. Hoshi, any chance you know anything about how someone would clear a whole place clean of bugs?”

“Nope. That wasn’t a part of my training.”

“Great…” Miu sighs, leaning back in her chair and bracing her feet against the table as she stares up at the ceiling. “So, first theory, we’re dealing with some kind of obsessive here. They grabbed us because we’re ultimates, or former ultimates-” She nods at Hoshi. “-and our talents make us valuable. They likely want to keep us totally safe and preserved here so they can have their little collection, so they seal us off and clear out any bugs that might disturb their weird little terrarium, like making sure flies don’t get into an ant farm. They have the bears, which are pretty clearly robotic, around so they can interact with us indirectly and try to endear us to them with how cute they are. Immediate issues with that theory are the Killing Game bullshit, the fact that they’re trying to keep our hopes up with the supposed escape routes instead of making sure we know we can’t leave, and all the plants.”

“The plants?” asked Tojo, sounding confused. Good to know she was following along though.

“An obsessive looking to have his perfect little world would have cleaned this place up a while ago. Plants growing on everything like the vines in the halls are too disorderly for the type of personality I’m thinking of. If this was his perfect little collection, then sticking them in a school that’s falling apart doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”

“What if they were in a hurry?” asked Hoshi.

“Good question, but that doesn’t work either. This place has way too much prep work going into it for it to be a rush job. So while that was the theory I was going with, new evidence makes it pretty unlikely.”

“So what are you thinking now?”

“A lot of things. I’ll tell you when I have something concrete.” She glanced at the two of them, still pretending to relax. “Mind sharing any info you find with me? Might help.”

“Sure.” “Ah, yes, if you think it will help.”

Miu nodded to them both, grinning. She’d dropped that theory a while ago, but sharing it out loud helped figure some parts out, and potentially gave some misinfo to anybody listening in. Her actual current theory was that their captor was a sadist running things like this to revel in having power over people they might feel inferior to, considering the whole ‘ultimates’ thing, but that was just a starting point. Best to see what comes up later in the investigation.

Miu grabbed her bowl and promptly slurped down the rest of her soup, setting it back on the table with a sigh and a grin as she stood up. “Thanks for the talk, gonna go see what else is going on around here. Hey Sentai Yellow and Black!”

Yonaga and Saihara both paused and looked over at her. “Oh, hello Miu~! Would you like to speak with us?”

“Depends, you find anything interesting or are you just talking about your interests?”

“Hmmmm…” Yonaga hummed, pressing a finger to her chin as she tilted her head in thought. “Well the word of Kami-sama is always interesting, Miu~” So nothing important then. 

“Ah… Yonaga-san’s religion is definitely… interesting.”

“Oh~? Does that mean you want to join, Shuichi?” At the mention of his first name, Saihara began to blush. 

“A-Ah, s-sorry, I'm not that good with blood, so I can't make an offering.” Well at least it seemed she didn't have much luck with recruitment. Good thing, since the last thing Miu needed was a cult uprising around here. “Aside from that, I don't have much to say.” 

“Thanks anyways, I guess.” Well, it's not like she could blame them for not knowing anything. Sighing, she walked out of the kitchen. Food in her belly and theories in her head, Miu decided to head back to the dorm for now. Normally she'd take the time to investigate what she hadn't seen so far, but she needed to clear her head first. So with that, she decided to rest. 

Laying down on the bed once she arrived at the dorm, she tossed off her boots and hat and laid back flat, staying silent as she stared up at the ceiling. However, as she laid there, trying to sort through all the info she had recently learned, the sound of the kubs caught her attention. Sitting up, she stared at the monitor as they announced nighttime was in effect. Blinking, Miu wondered just how long she’d been laying there. 

However, rather than dwell on that she got out of bed, putting her hat and boots on again as she did. Leaving the dorms, Miu turned to look at the academy. She may have wasted some time there, but there was one upside. Given that everyone was either asleep or in the dorms, it gave her the chance to investigate unabated. 

Smacking her fist into her palm, Miu smirked. Time for her to fully flex her talent. No stone would be left unturned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know in a non minigame setting that despair tunnel is a lot worse than it seems.
> 
> Red: Yup. Especially all the explosives. Also, anybody ever have that moment where you lie down for a little bit and then sleep for hours by accident? Little context for the skip at the end.
> 
> Yeah that happens alot for me. Anyways next up will be the fte's for sure to make sure to vote if you haven't yet!


	7. The First Official Motive

*DING-DONG DING-DONG DING-*

“Gh, the fuck?” Miu mumbled as she sat up in bed, blinking at the sound of someone ringing a bell multiple times in a row. God, she felt exhausted.

However, before she could shake herself awake, the sound of the ringing bell and constant knocking did it for her. Grumbling, she got out of bed and walked to the door. Thankfully for her, she’d fallen asleep in her clothes, so she didn't need to put on anything before opening the door. Always a good thing to check.

“Whaddaya wa-” As she opened the door, Miu yelped as someone abruptly swung their fist into her chest. “Ow! Why the hell did you hit my boob!?” Glaring at Akamatsu for punching her in the tit, Miu held herself back from doing the same, her grip tight on the door frame.

“Iruma-san, thank goodness you're okay!” ...Okay?

“Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?” Miu asked as she quirked an eyebrow. 

“A-Ah, it's just… We were trying to get everyone together in the dining hall after the morning announcement, but then we noticed you were the only one who wasn't there. N-Not that anyone of us thought something happened to you! It's just, Monokuma decided to show up and…” Huh. Interesting seeing her flustered.

“...Yeah yeah, I get the picture. Anyways, no need to worry, just slept late is all.” No need to tell her what she actually did. 

“Oh is that all?” Monokuma’s voice questioned from behind Miu. 

“Yeah, you got a pro- Where the fuck did you come from!?” Turning on her heel, the detective glared at the bear standing on the bed. Great, fuck, they had an entrance for the bears in her room too? How many were there in this place?

“Oh? I thought I already told you. I'm the god of this world, so being everywhere and anywhere is as easy as performing a lobotomy on a housekeeper who tried sneaking into a secret base.” 

Okay, that was both oddly specific and disturbing. “Well get the fuck out of here!” Stomping her foot for emphasis, Miu was about to head towards the bear when she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Don't do anything rash, Iruma-san,” Akamatsu said, looking past her and staring at the bear warily.

“Upupupu! She's right you know~ If you want to win, you better make sure to plan your kill first~! Unless you want to get punished that is~ Either way, I win~!” Ugh, gross. He was squirming in obvious excitement.

“Get the fuck out already!” Thankfully, he seemed to listen to her, tumbling backwards off the bed and seemingly disappearing. Hm. Brushing Akamatsu’s hand off her shoulder, Miu checked past the bed. Yep, gone. Hm. “Final-fucking-ly...” 

“...Since that's done, we should head to the dining hall. We don't want to worry anyone after all.” 

“Whatever.” Sighing, Miu began to follow her, making sure to grab her notebook and hat on the way out.

“So, Iruma-san, did you sleep well?” 

“...About as well as I could in this shitty place.” Trailing behind Akamatsu, Miu opened her notebook, flipping to the page where she had her current drawings of the academy. It wasn’t quite a map yet, too little info for that, but it matched the shitty one on the pad close enough. Sadly, most of what she’d found the previous night were just more locked off areas. However, there was one thing she found that was really fucking fascinating. The main reason she didn't want to tell anyone about her late night investigation. 

Hidden behind a bookcase in the library was a secret door. 

Or, well, hidden is what she would say if it wasn't abundantly obvious that something was hidden behind it. Hell, she didn't even need to pull out a book or anything to get it to swing open. Of course, the door behind the shelf did need a card to open it up, but that was beside the point. 

That being said, since the door was there, the only one of its kind at that since she had scoured every part of the school she could, it led to several possibilities centered around why it existed and what it was used for. First, it could be what was used to transport the ultimates in, and, in fact, could be an exit. While plausible, the fact that it has been left seemingly useable made this theory unlikely. Their captors had heavily trapped the ‘escape tunnel’ after all, so leaving a door like that was just stupid, even for them.

Second, it could be what they used to bring in items like food. Which could mean it would still work as an escape route, if it was set up for people to walk through. However, that option was than less likely, since, if they needed to bring something in, why not have the entrance in the kitchen or the gym? Given those were off-limits at night, it would make more sense there. No, the fact that it was in the library had to mean something. The fact that it was easy to find, but not access, also had to mean something was going on there.

Which led to her third theory. Lastly, and sadly the most likely, it wasn't used as a way to get in and out, but rather a door to somewhere off limits. Somewhere that only someone with permission to get into. Someone who was working with their captors. 

It made sense on some level. Stick sixteen people in one place, and then there are way too many variables going on. Any one of them could act or react in a way their captors didn’t expect, so the smart thing to do was minimize the risk. Have at least one person on the inside and you have a way of guiding things just in case it’s necessary. After all, the bears were too obviously antagonistic to work as any kind of ‘friendly helper’ keeping everybody together...In fact, the bears being assholes did work in some ways. It would make everyone more likely to group up against them...Hm.

It was just a theory, but one that seemed pretty likely. Of course, she could be completely wrong and that door was just where their captors were hiding out, but...fuck, she needed more evidence. 

“Don’t go looking to prove yourself right,” Miu murmured to herself. It was one of her rules. Any theory could be wrong, so don’t look for evidence just to prove it. Look where the evidence leads you naturally.

“Did you say something?” Akamatsu asked as they entered the academy.

“Just talking to myself, nothing important.” Sighing, she pocketed her notebook. Really, she had to be more careful. Accidentally spilling her secrets to random people just because she wanted to hear herself think would easily be the dumbest way for her to fuck herself over.

It didn't help that Akamatsu was on her list of suspects. Well, really, everyone was, but the supposed leader was way high up there on the list. 

Hypothetically speaking, if Akamatsu really was the leader of a foreign country, she'd be a great asset for some complete asshole to have. But at the same time, if she was the leader of a foreign country, there was no way she'd be put in a place like this, in direct danger, if she was working with their captor. Of course, that was assuming that she didn’t deliberately stick herself in there for the thrill of it. Motive was always a tricky thing to nail down.

In the end, it wasn't likely that Miu would find out anytime soon. Even if she took the time to constantly stake out the library, it'd just make their captors focus on her, assuming they really did have hidden cameras everywhere. And if that happened, they’d probably just tell their spy or whoever the fuck to avoid using the door. Blegh, shitty options all around. She really needed to find some more info.

Still, that was for later, since she and Akamatsu soon arrived at the dining hall to find everyone waiting there for them.

“See? I told you all that she was okay!” Sounding quite self-congratulatory, Momota beamed at them. He had a decent smile. Shame everything else was just...ugh.

“Yes, by the will of kami-sama, nothing will happen to her or any of us~” Yeah, sure, thank the gods or whatever.

“W-Well, as long as she's okay, there's nothing to worry about.” Wait, who the fuck said that?

“Of course nothing happened to Iruma-san! You menaces were just trying to get us to worry for no reason!” Yeah, that one was expected.

Well, at least they were as lively as ever. Even if the constant chatter was annoying, it was better than complete silence. 

Walking over to the main table, Miu sat down at one of the few open spaces, in between Amami and Shirogane. Green, yellow, blue. There was something color thing there, but she couldn’t think of the joke...Slumping down in the chair, she soon found a rice bowl and miso soup set in front of her, courtesy of Gonta.

“Thanks, big guy,” she said, grinning up at him. “Right, I’m gonna eat. Rest of you, feel free to talk.”

“Oh, I’m so glad we have your permission,” Ouma said, placing a hand over his chest and smiling creepily. Drama King. 

“You don't have it. Akamatsu, speak before he can.” 

“O-Oh! Um, well, in that cas-” 

“It's time for the first motive!” Monokuma suddenly interrupted as he abruptly appeared on the table and subsequently stepped right on Miu’s food. She stared at her bowl for a moment, before coming to a decision. She was gonna stab their captor in their genitals. This she swore.

“Agh!?”

“W-Where did you come from!?” 

“Good bearning!” Cut in the kubs as they appeared, right off cue. 

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask, but isn't this technically the second motive?” Monosuke asked, “I mean, kill to escape is already a motive in itself. Not to mention killing the blackened so as to not die could be considered another.” 

“Y-You shouldn't ask those things Monosuke!” said Monofunny.

“Huh? We've already had another motive? Did you guys skip ahead without telling me?” asked Monotaro.

“Monodam was the one who was supposed to tell you!” said Monokid.

“...” …’ed Monodam.

...Would chopsticks be enough to stab a robotic bear with? 

“...You know, just because you're my cute kids, I'll let you off without getting mad at you for pointing out what no one else has, ever, in the history of forever. Anyways, as I was saying, time for the first, official, motive!” 

“Hey, what the hell is this motive shit!?” Maybe if you listened, you’d find out.

“Whatever it is, we won't listen to it! Not even the menaces will listen!” Welp, guess they weren’t finding out then.

“Now now, no need to hold off on the motive anymore. We had plenty of time for suspense to build-up all because little miss detective over here decided to ‘sleep late’.” To emphasize his point, the bear dug his foot into the rice bowl. As she watched her food getting ground under the bear’s foot, Miu revised her earlier oath. She was going to stab their captors in whatever genitalia they had, and _twist_.

“If you're going to tell us, then just get on with it,” Tojo muttered, a sentiment Miu would have agreed with if she wasn’t mourning the loss of her breakfast.

“Hmph, I was about to get to it. Hm…maybe I should add a rule to not interrupt me…? Oh well, as I was saying.” A gleefully sadistic smile grew on the bear’s face, which was really damn creepy considering his grin actually seemed to stretch up his face. “The first motive is the werewolf game! Killing Game Style!” 

“...Huh?”

“It’s the Werewolf Game-Killing Game Style!” he repeated in the exact same tone. Well that didn’t help at all. Werewolf game...Miu had heard of it, she was pretty sure, but while she’d never actually played it before, she did at least know the rules, and those rules didn’t really mesh well with the ‘Killing game rules’ that had already been established.

“And that is?” asked Harukawa, sounding irritated.

“Whaaaat? You kids don’t know the werewolf game?? For shame! The youth today! So ignorant of the classics, so irredeemably stupid-”

“Would you get on with it already!?” Miu barked, glaring at the bastard bear.

He chuckled that weird laugh of his, grinning back at her. “Well, if you’re asking so nicely. It's simple, oh so very simple! Within this killing game, much like the classic werewolf game, there are two werewolves, deadly, bestial, ready to rip and tear! But these particular werewolves are very special! Yes, these two wolves, the wolves among you, are people who not only volunteered for this game, but are veterans of the Killing Game too~! Upupupupuuuu!” 

For a brief moment, Miu’s brain stuttered, trying to reconcile the information she just got. She’d already assumed that there had been some kind of spy in their group that was working for their captors, but it didn't occur to her at all that there could be a second one. And, not only that, but that they would be outed almost immediately by their own bosses. What purpose would that serve? Why have people working on the inside when you would immediately tell the others that there were spies?

“You can't expect us to believe that!” shouted Akamatsu as she glared at the bear. “Why would anyone agree to being stuck in a place like this!?”

“Kami-sama agrees with Kaede~ Kami-sama is telling me no one here is working with you~” Well that was blatantly wrong.

“And for that matter, why would anyone agree to do this again!?” Now that she could agree with. Iidabashi had a good point: Unless the two ‘wolves’ were psychos who just wanted to kill people again, there would be little reason for them to volunteer for another game. And that would only work if they had been in separate games. 

Which, also, fuck. That actually confirmed Miu’s theory that there had been multiple ‘Killing Games’. Monokuma had implied it before with his shitty intro speech, but now she had actual confirmation. And wasn’t that fucking disturbing? 

Now...what the fuck did it actually mean?

How had there been multiple killing games before this one? Assuming the two ‘joining up’ in this one were murderers who had ‘won’ their own games, that meant there had to be at least two of them. But, again, how the fuck did that work? 

Were they kidnapping people before now as, what, practice for this? Grabbing random people would be easier than getting Ultimates...But the fact that the spies were here, among them, meant they had to be Ultimates, so...Maybe it was a volunteer thing? Some kind of bloodsport? Fuck, she needed more info...

“U-Uh… that doesn't really seem like a motive for us…” Hm. As much as Miu hated to admit it, Shirogane wasn't necessarily correct. Sure, the ‘big reveal’ didn't seem like much at first, but something like this would immediately make the people in their group more distrustful of each other, especially if there were multiple spies to look out for. Not to mention, being outed so soon would definitely put the ‘wolves’ on edge.

That being said, the only reason she could see that such a motive would be given was if their captor had some asinine reason to make things fair for everyone, which wouldn't fit in with the idea that they were some sadistic maniac getting their rocks off. Or maybe that was just all a part of their game? They would get to see even their own people squirm by putting them in direct danger too...Hm.

“Oh don’t you worry, cuz there’s more to come! You see, it isn't fair to the rest of you to have to fight against people who have already survived their own games, climbing over the bodies of others to do so. Sooooo, for those of you who are stuck in the role of the simple villagers, you get a super special bonus if you managed to hunt down a wolf! Yes brave hunters, you and you alone get to leave the game with no trial!” 

For a brief moment, all noise in the room seemed to stop as they all stared at the bear.

“W-What do you mean there won't be a trial?” asked Amami.

“Are you just gonna kill all of us?!” questioned Gonta, actually sounding scared. And wasn’t that worrying...

“Hm…while that would be fun, sadly that won't happen. Instead, the brave hunter just gets to get off scot free, no trial and no executions.” Sighing, Monokuma slumped onto the table. “And here I was hoping to see a brutal execution...You brats have no idea how generous I'm being by giving you this chance! Oh, but before I forget, this method of escape is only valid for the first death. So if one of you kids fucks up and kills a non-wolf, then that's it. Motive is off the table. So please make sure to fuck up~! Upupupupupu~” 

“Yeah! Poppa is giving you this chance out of the bottom of his heart, so make sure to squander it!” 

“Or better yet, you can kill the person who killed the wolf, so it'll be an even bigger waste!” 

“Or better yet, kill Monodam instead!” 

“...”

“...What was my line again?” 

“Well, since my job is done for now, you kids better get a killing! And remember, I'll be watching~” With that, Monokuma kick the rice bowl away from his foot, the miso soup slipping off onto the table, the bowl breaking as it landed a few feet away, before leaving, his kids following soon after.

Miu stared at her shattered bowl as the rest of the room seemed to erupt with voices. What did the bear have against her eating? Was this supposed to be her punishment for snooping around? 

...Wait, shit, that actually sounded pretty likely…

“Everyone, CALM DOWN!” Akamatsu shouted. Miu idly pressed a finger to her ear, checking for damages. Girl certainly had a set of lungs on her.

Once everyone had quieted down and were staring at Akamatsu, she took a breath, clasping her hands together as she prepared to address her crowd. “Okay, thank you. Now, I know everyone must be feeling upset right now-”

“That’s an understatement,” Shinguji muttered. Akamatsu immediately stared right at him, a frown on her face as the pianist almost reflexively stiffened.

“Korekiyo, I was talking.”

“...Right. Sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Akamatsu replied, smiling again. Huh. “Now, as I was saying, I’m sure everyone is feeling upset because of the ‘motive’ Monokuma just gave us. It’s scary to think that he could be telling the truth and that there could be people in our group working for him.” Lot of ‘coulds’ there. “Still, that doesn’t mean we should believe him.”

“Why not?” asked Ouma, “Why would he ever lie to us about his game like that? What reason could he have?”

“A lot of reasons, dumbass,” Miu muttered.

“Miu, do you have something you want to say?” Miu blinked, glancing up at Akamatsu. Wait, why did she get called out?

“...Yeah, first off, you’re being a little too familiar right now. Second, of course the asshole bear would be lying to us. His stated goal is to get us to murder each other. Everything he says is just another way of getting us to that point.” Granted, what he said was lining up with her own theories, but saying that now with the ‘motive’ hanging over their heads could easily convince someone that they needed to find the spies immediately and, well...She really didn’t want to set off a murder attempt.

Ouma, on the other hand, didn’t seem worried about that possibility at all. “Now why would you say that? It makes perfect sense if you actually think about it for a minute. Guess you’re not as bright as you act, detective. Gasp!” Did he just say ‘gasp’? “Or could it be that you’re one of the traitors trying to get us all killed?”

“That’s a pretty big jump, jackass. You sure you’re not malfunctioning?” Miu retorted, biting back her instinct to accuse him in turn. It wouldn’t do them any good, even if his riling did seem like something a spy would-no, dammit, don’t think that-

“Nope, all systems are running just smoothly over here! Can’t you tell? I feel like you should, after all, you’re supposed to be the detective, riiiiight? Or are you feeling too tired? You did get here pretty late. Guilty conscience keep you from sleeping?”

“Insomnia’s a thing, dick.”

“She’s right, it is,” Yumeno abruptly agreed, sounding as tired as ever. “Even if it wasn't, getting mad at each other will just make things worse...” 

“Thank you, Himiko. Now then, since things are getting tense, we should probably end this meeting now,” Akamatsu said, then frowned at Ouma, who smirked and mimed zipping his lips. “However, I ask that we do meet up here every morning. I hope no one has any objections?” It seemed no one did, since silence was the only answer. “In that case, I thank you all for your time, and please remember to come here each day after the morning announcements.” Grumbling to herself, Miu remained sitting as everyone began to disperse. 

“Ah, Iruma-san!” Miu looked up and found Gonta standing over her. “Gonta sincerely apologizes! He didn't prepare any more food.” And of course. Shit, her luck was bad today.

“Eh, whatever. It’s not like you could have known the bear would step on my food.” 

“Still, Gonta wishes to make it up to you. Is there anything you want Gonta to prepare for you?” 

“Hm… anything is good, but if you have the stuff for some tonkatsu, that'd be perfect.” 

“Of course! It may take some time, but Gonta will inform you as soon as it's ready!” Smiling down at her, the huge butler headed back to the kitchen. He really was ridiculously nice.

Standing up, Miu rubbed and rolled her shoulders, wondering what she should do next. She glanced around the dining room and found herself alone with Akamatsu, who hadn’t left the room yet. The other girl seemed deep in thought, staring off into space with her arms crossed.

Well, might as well talk with her. If they were gonna be stuck there, it would be good to get to know people. 

“Oi, Akamatsu! You busy?” 

“Huh?” Looking up, the supposed leader quickly put a smile on her face. “Oh, hello Miu. Did you need something?” Hm. Still being familiar, huh?

“Just wanted to talk. Not like we can do much else right now.” 

“Sure thing. Ah, but do you mind if we walk and talk? I want to get some fresh air.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Following Akamatsu, Miu made her way outside with the so-called ‘leader’. 

“Now that I have the chance, Miu, I actually wished to apologize.” 

“Eh, it's okay. Just let me do one thing.” 

“Which i-ow!” Akamatsu winced, clutching her left boob as she stared incredulously at Miu. “...did...did you just punch me in my breast?”

“Yeah? You were apologizing for punching my tit earlier, right? It's only fair I punch you back.” 

“I what...?” A look of shock soon replaced the blank stare Akamatsu had. “Ah! I forgot all about that! I'm completely sorry!” 

“...That doesn't seem like something that'd be easy to forget,” Miu responded as Akamatsu continued to look distressed. 

“I know, it's just with everything's that happened and Monokuma’s taunting it completely slipped my mind!” Hm. Once again, seeing her so flustered was very interesting. “Regardless, I apologize for hitting you and for calling you out during the meeting.” 

“Oh yeah, you did do that. Yeah, actually, why'd you call me out and not the purple gremlin?” 

“...I will assume you mean, Kokichi. The only reason I did so was because you insulted him. Regardless of what you may think of one another, in a situation like this we have to rely on each other. As such, I ask that you refrain from doing so again.” 

“...Fine, whatever. I won’t call him that again.” Whenever she's nearby anyways. To be honest, Miu couldn’t actually tell which insult Akamatsu was referring to. She had a lot saved up for the robotic bastard.

“Thank you. Now, I hate to cut this short, but I have some planning I need to do. As such, I must bid you adieu.” Huh. Why the French? “Thank you for your time, Miu.” 

“Eh, yeah, sure, you too. Talk with you later.” Giving her a small wave, Miu walked away. For a moment, she wondered if the talk actually accomplished anything. Well at least they were probably closer now. 

Wandering around for a few minutes, Miu began to head to the garden, not really sure where she should head, until she heard some rather odd sounds coming from a distance. Glancing off to her right, she noticed that the most likely place the sound was coming from was a building that should have been locked. Cocking an eyebrow, she walked toward it. 

Once she arrived at the building, she found the door slightly ajar, which would explain how she heard all the noise. Opening the door, she was taken aback for a moment at what appeared to be a mad scientist’s lab, given the various saws, drills, and chemicals across the room. The giant buzzsaw was bizarre, the multiple robotic arms were crazy looking, and clearly whoever set this up had no concept of lab safety. Still, she did have to admit that she liked the aesthetic. Though why the operating table?

A quick glance around the bizarre room let her find Yumeno, who appeared to be working on something as she used a drill that was connected to the weird metal hub on far right wall. 

Letting out a sigh, Yumeno stopped the drill as she wiped away some sweat from her brow. Deciding that now would probably be the time to speak up, Miu walked closer.

“Hey Yumeno,” she began, trying not to spook the smaller girl by accidentally sneaking up on her. Not that it seemed to matter since Yumeno just glanced back at her, looking a bit livelier than usual. She had pair of goggles on, probably to avoid getting any sparks or bits of metal in her eyes.

“Oh, Iruma-san...Huh. Why are you in my lab?”

“Curiosity.” Miu shrugged. “You left the door open and I heard you working on something. Speaking of, what the fuck is this room?” 

“A research room, I think. The bears said they made them for us,” Yumeno muttered as she picked her ear. “Or at least for Shinguji and I. He has one too.” 

“Huh. So only you and the stick got these rooms?” 

“Nyeh...Yeah...Monokuma said we should use our rooms to plan our murders, but there's no way I can use my inventions to kill!” 

Huh. It was good to hear that she doesn’t want to use her inventions to commit murder, but huh. Why would two of them get their own personal rooms unlocked right now? If they were the ‘wolves’, that would just immediately out them. Then again, if the rooms had just been pre-built and there were more of them for everybody else, it probably meant that Yumeno had just been lucky. Hers came up early, so she got a room. Though, if it was planned...

“...Well I'm glad to hear you wouldn't do that. So, what're you doing right now?” 

“I’m just making those flashlights. Though it's kind of difficult since I have to cannibalize a bunch of other stuff for the proper parts. Such as the lights.” Yumeno pointed up at the surgical lights over the operating table, letting Miu notice that several of the lights had been pulled out. “But I'm taking a break for now.” 

“Oh, in that case, we can continue talking yeah?” 

“Nyeh… Sure.” Despite her lackluster words, a small smile graced the inventor’s face. 

“I will say, if we're all gonna get one of these rooms, you're lucky to get yours first.” 

“...If you say so. I would have preferred it if they took some more time on it.” 

“Huh? Why, doesn't this place look cool enough?” 

“Nyeh…those aren’t the words I'd use. This place isn't anything like my workshop. It's more like a mad scientist's lair. It feels like they're making fun of me.” 

“Wait really? Why?” Miu frowned, looking around the bright purple and magenta room. She thought it looked pretty cool...

“A mad scientist would do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. The ends justify the means for them. But an inventor like me would never harm someone for an invention!” 

“Hm...Yeah, I can get that. The whole aesthetic of the room doesn’t really match your own personal philosophy. Kind of a fuck up on the bears’ part then.”

“I guess.” Yumeno shrugged. “It’s not enough to make me avoid working here. It’s just…”

“Annoying?”

“Yeah… at the very least I wish I could remodel this place. But it's not like we'll be here for long, right?” 

“Of course not! I don't care whatever shitty things those bears have in mind, we're getting out of here as soon as possible!” 

“Heh… in that case, I should get back to work.” 

“If you need anything at all, just feel free to ask!” Miu grinned and gave Yumeno a thumbs up. The inventor smiled back, still tired but kind of cheerful, then went back to her work.

Hm. Even if Yumeno’s talent alone put her high on the list of potential suspects, Miu was almost willing to take her off that list altogether. Sadly, she'd be pretty shit at her job if she let someone off the hook just because she liked them. Still, Miu did feel like she understood the other girl a bit more. She could afford to be friendly.

Feeling her stomach growl, Miu decided on her next destination.

To tonkatsu!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long ass time I finally update. Sorry for the wait, some irl stuff happened so haven't been able to write much. Hope you all enjoyed the first two fte's featuring Kaede and Himiko!
> 
> Red: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter as a whole too. As you might've noticed, we're kinda doing a thing where we weave the FTEs into the chapter, rather than have them be separate.
> 
> Hopefully we did a good job, if not I'll do better next time. Anyways feel free to leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!


	8. Talking Time with Weirdoes and Psychopaths

Once Miu finally finished off all the delicious food that Gonta had made for her, the brilliant and beautiful detective got up and put her trays into the sink. However, before she could try to clean them, Gonta gently shooed her away. 

“It's okay, Iruma-san. It's Gonta’s duty to be a butler, so he shall take care of these.” 

“Are you sure?” While normally Miu wouldn't mind avoiding extra chores, she didn't want to seem ungrateful after he took the time to make her food. 

“Of course! Gonta strives to be useful however he can, so please, let him do so,” Gonta insisted with a gentle smile. In the face of such earnestness, Miu could do little but let him do what he wanted.

“Well, okay then, but I owe you one, okay?” Big lug was such a total sweetheart.

“Think nothing of it, Iruma-san!” With that, he got right into cleaning off the dishes in the sink. Well, it wasn’t like she could do much here while he was busy.

Waving at him as she left, Miu went on her way out of the dining hall, which led her right into Harukawa. The aikido practitioner was unmoved as Miu stumbled back a bit.

“Gah.” Righting herself after taking a few steps, Miu looked at the twin-tailed girl, who stared back at her. “Sorry, wasn't paying attention.” 

“...” Rather than respond, Harukawa kept staring at her, a look of contemplation in her eyes, before tilting her head towards the door. “Follow me.” ...Well that wasn’t ominous.

Confused and a bit wary, Miu decided to follow the brunette into the warehouse. Once inside, Harukawa headed over to exercise mats lying nearby. Grabbing the end of one mat, Harukawa looked up at Miu, as if she was indicating that she should help her carry it. Which was probably exactly what she was doing. Huh.

“Uh…where exactly do you want to take these fucking things?” 

“Gym.” As if that explained anything, Harukawa gestured to the mats, signaling to Miu to help her pick them up, her expression unchanged.

“...Okay then?” Might as well helped her out. It wasn’t like she had anything better to do.

And so, Miu grabbed the other end of the mat. Letting out a grunt of effort as they lifted it, Miu moved in time with Harukawa as they walked to the gym. Sadly for her, it seemed Harukawa wasn't one for small talk. The martial artist didn't utter a word as they walked, leaving the two to walk in silence. Maybe that was for the best. The mat was heavy as fuck and Miu was pretty sure she’d be gasping for air if she tried talking.

Eventually the two arrived at the gym, setting down the mat on the floor. Sure enough, Miu was breathing heavier after the activity. 

Before she could wipe away the sweat that had built up on her forehead, Miu blinked as Harukawa handed a towel to her, a small smirk on her face. “You look like you need this.” 

Okay, rude and bitchy, but she was sweaty as fuck...Deciding to not look a gift horse in the mouth, she grabbed the towel, and wiped the sweat from her face. While she did that, Harukawa kicked her shoes off and walked onto the mat, noticeably jumping on it a bit. Testing it, maybe? “You ready to go?” 

“Huh?” Blinking, Miu watched as Harukawa started doing a few basic stretches. 

“You ready?” Blinking again, Miu hesitantly walked over. 

“...Ready for what?” Stretches? Yoga? Calisthenics? ...Jazzercise? 

“Practice.” Oh yeah, that fucking explained everything.

Miu frowned as she looked down at the mat, running an internal debate in her head. On the one hand, this was fucking weird. On the other, while she was tense, Harukawa didn't seem immediately aggressive. At the moment, at least. So maybe she just wanted a training partner? 

Fuck it. Deciding it was worth the risk, Miu took off her boots, and walked onto the mat. 

And that was when Harukawa took a Aikido stance, her hands up, as if waiting for Miu to attack. 

“Oh. Uh…” Miu frowned, trying to get into a stance too, trying to mimic some guys she’d seen on tv before. She wasn’t exactly a martial artist. Well, to be fucking honest, she had no idea what the fuck she was doing. She could throw a punch, sure, and knew some good ways of using her knees and feet if some creep got too close, but actual fighting wasn’t really her forte. 

Harukawa’s eyes narrowed. She looked kind of pissed off...All right, deep breaths. Miu jabbed for Harukawa’s face, honestly expecting to be tossed right over the other girl’s shoulder. What she didn’t expect was for Harukawa to grab her fist and then kick the side of her leg.

“Ow! Jeez, fuck…” Miu grunted, instinctively pulling her leg in. It didn’t even hurt that bad, it just caught her off guard… “...Could you let go of my hand?”

Harukawa nodded, letting go, then straightened up, nodding to her. And then she got right back into her stance, all without a word.

Miu...was honestly pretty fucking baffled by that. So, what, Harukawa wanted to keep going? She just grabbed her hand and kicked her leg without a word.

Miu got back into her own stance. Harukawa’s eyes flicked towards her leg for a moment, the one she’d kicked, then went back to her eyes. Miu frowned, then slowly pulled her leg in a bit. For the briefest moment, Harukawa seemed to smirk before she went right back to her usual neutral face. Hm.

Another jab saw Miu’s hand get caught again and another kick be delivered to her leg. The other one this time, so hey, at least she had even bruises. She grimaced, pulling her hand back and adjusting that leg, pulling it inward. 

That time, she got kicked on the inside of her leg. Miu glared at Harukawa, who stared evenly back. The detective hadn’t quite figured out what the bitch in the red gi was doing, but she seemed to be taking some kind of amusement from it...Yes, Harukawa had easily the most deadpan expression she’d ever seen, but Miu was fucking positive she was getting off on this at least a little!

This continued for some time, the aikido practitioner hitting Miu’s arms and legs with every attack the detective made. With each strike, Miu kept adjusting her position, until with one final punch, Harukawa suddenly dodged her attack, not striking back at all. Breathing heavily, Miu noticed a small smile on Harukawa’s face for a moment.

Miu pulled back and rubbed her arms, noticing that while Harukawa’s strikes initially hurt, the pain had subsided over the training, so, for the most part, her arms and legs just felt sore. It still hurt, but it was a dull pain.

“Good, you finally threw a proper punch.” 

“Hey! Just because I'm not fucking gr-...Oh you bitch, that's what you were doing this entire time.” Miu sighed and sat down on the mat. Of course the entire training session was just to help her. She probably should have figured that out, but at some point she just really wanted to punch Harukawa in the face. “You could have just said something instead of just fucking hitting me.” 

“Wasn't it obvious?” questioned Harukawa. Miu was about to snipe back at her, but the martial artist actually looked genuinely confused.

So instead, she just sighed again. “...Yeah sure, whatever. Thanks for the training.” 

“I don't mind doing it some more later.” As a smirk adorned Harukawa’s face, Miu noticed something she hasn't before. The corners of her lips seems strained and twitching, as if she was forcing the smirk. Or, rather, forcing a smile that came out as a smirk. Odd…she seemed to be able to smile just fine before…Hm. So she couldn’t quite smile when she wanted to, but doing it unconsciously...Well, clearly Miu need to fix that.

She grinned. “Nope! We're not doing this later. Cuz next time, I'm gonna be the one training you!” Standing up, Miu smiled at the shorter girl, pointing right at her face. “You better be ready, cuz next time your jaw is gonna be as sore as my arms and legs!” 

“...Excuse me?” 

“You heard me! As for me, I'm gonna go walk off this pain!” Leaving the slightly blushing girl behind, Miu walked off, her head held high. At least for a few steps before her shins started to throb. “Gah, fucking splintered cocksucking shins…”

As she began to walk in the halls again, Miu noted that enough time had passed for the sky outside to go dark, signalling that it would be probably be nighttime soon. Rubbing her sore arms again, Miu headed to the library, planning to at least find a book to help her sleep. 

At least, that was her plan before she stopped at the doorway to the library and found Amami standing in front of the trickbook case. Trick bookcase. Trickbook bookcase, tricky...fuck, what was he up to? 

However, before she could try to sneak closer to him, the apparent amnesiac turned around and noticed her, a sudden look of shock on his face that quickly turned to a sheepish grin. 

“A-Ah, Iruma-san. I didn't realize you were here.”

“...Hey, Amami, how goes?” 

“It's going okay, haha...I just wanted to find something to read.” Seemingly schooling himself, Amami calmly smiled at her.

“Yeah, no shit. Your way too pretty face didn’t give that a-fucking-way at all,” she deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“...I think that's the first time I've been complimented like that… that was a compliment right?”

“Who fucking knows. Anyways, since you were looking for books, any recommendations?” 

“Well, there's certainly plenty to read, but most isn't really worth recommending… it's odd, but for some reason most of the books here aren't stories. They're mostly things like cookbooks, medical journals, histories of various countries, and even more about their languages and how to speak them. There's even books full of artwork.” 

“...So? Don't actual libraries have stuff like that?” She’d visited plenty of libraries that had more of an emphasis on non-fiction than fiction before.

“Well, I don't frequent them, but I would agree for you. But then, the actual stories here have a rather… stark contrast.” Walking up to a shelf to his left, Amami pointed at several books. “Lesson of the Evil, Battle Royale, Another, King’s Game…all of these books feature situations where groups of people, specifically high schoolers, are killed.” Okay, yeah, that actually was fucking weird.

“Great, whoever kidnapped us decided to share their personal collection with us.” 

“It certainly seems like it. Even the ones whose subject matter aren't that dark are still rather grim.” Letting out a sigh, Amami looked disgruntled, frowning up at the books.

“Well then, I guess there's no point in staying around,” Miu pointed out, watching him for any hint of a reaction, “No way anything here is gonna do for some light reading.” 

He paused for a second, then turned and smiled. “I'll go with you. There’s no reason to stay around here anymore.” 

“Whatever.” And so the two walked together, heading to the dorm in silence. As they walked, Miu’s mind raced as she went down the possibilities of what happened in the library. 

The first option was that it was all just a coincidence. Amami just happened to be standing in front of that trick bookcase when she walked in and didn’t have any interest in or knowledge of what was behind it. Now, that was completely fucking unlikely since coincidences are bullshit, but she couldn't just toss the option away. There was still a chance it was right, and weirder shit had happened to her than seeing a pretty boy standing by a bookcase.

The second option was that Amami was, in fact, one of the wolves. While that was more likely, she wasn't sure this was the right choice. Even if the wolves were rattled at being ousted by their own boss, the chances of them immediately going to the door and just studying it didn't seem likely. 

The third option was that Amami had discovered the bookcase’s trick before she saw him. That was possible, and pretty likely, but didn’t quite feel right. She wasn’t about to say he should have told anyone; aside from being hypocritical, it would be fucking stupid when anyone could be a spy working for the chief fuckwads. 

So, that brought her to option four. Four for death and all that shit. Though there wasn’t anything particularly deadly about this theory. Well, there could be-Whatever. Point was, Amami could have somehow come across info about the bookcase and decided to follow up on it. As for what info and how he found it, she had no fucking clue, but it was something to think about, even if it just opened up more possibilities. For all she knew, he somehow managed to follow her when she went out last night. 

Miu glanced at Amami, wondering just what the fuck was up with the weird pretty boy. It was only once they arrived at the dorms that Amami finally spoke up. 

“Iruma-san…is it okay if I-” 

And before he could finish that sentence, the night time announcement rang out. Some asshole out there had a shitty sense of timing...

“...Actually, it's late. I'll save it for some other time. Goodnight, Iruma-san.” Giving her a small smile and wave, Amami headed to his room and left the detective by herself all alone with a shit ton of questions, and some brand new suspicions. 

Well, fuck it. Amami had some weird shit going on, clearly, and she’d need to investigate when she could, but she’d already fucked up her sleep with that investigation last night. Plus, her muscles fucking ached. So bed it was. 

After another glance around, mostly to make sure nobody else was about to pop up, Miu turned and entered her room. It was best to turn in for the night rather than get fucked up with stress over just one mystery that she could solve soon enough anyway. Thankfully, she actually had a rather peaceful night of sleep, which was sadly broken as the morning announcement went off. 

“...Egh. Fucking shit bitch bears...” Groaning as she woke up to the sounds of the annoying bears, Miu got ready for the day ahead of her. 

Thankfully, she managed to get done with everything before anyone could start pounding on her door. She was still one of the last to actually arrive at the dining hall though, Yumeno trailing in behind her soon after she arrive. Second to last wasn’t the worst. Though it wasn’t like being last was a bad thing...actually, if she considered being late a good thing, since it meant she got her sleep, wasn’t Yumeno actually beating her? 

She glanced at the sleepy inventor, frowning a little. Clearly, Miu needed to step up her sleep-in game.

“Great, everyone's here!” Her usual cheerfulness on full display, Akamatsu clapped to get everyone's attention. Bitch would be hell on anyone hungover. That thought prompted another glance around the room to see if anybody winced at the sound, or seemed especially sensitive to light. “Since we're all here, I wanted to ask Himiko if she could tell us how she was coming along with the flashlights.” Oh, right, important shit.

“Nyeh…they're coming along. It'll take a bit more time, but I should have enough for everyone today.” 

“All right! One step closer to freedom!” Momota cheered as he gave Yumeno a thumbs up. Because that ‘exit’ was definitely legit. Sure.

“That it is, but we still have to be careful. Even if we can see, there's still plenty of traps in the tunnel, so we have to be careful with every step.” 

“Ah...um, Akamatsu-san,” Saihara actually spoke up, raising his hand like he was in class and waiting for Professor Akamatsu to turn to him. 

“Yes, Shuichi?” 

Blushing at the use of his first name, Saihara looked away and pulled the brim of his hat down, but continued nonetheless. “W-Well...um, it's just...I wanted to ask if drawing a map would help? To, like, help remember the traps or in case it becomes a maze. I’m not a professional or anything, but, um, I do draw when preparing my cosplays.”

“That's a wonderful idea Shuichi! A map would work wonders for us!” 

Huh. That really wasn’t that bad of an idea. Shame the ‘exit’ was still bullshit, but that was a decent enough suggestion. Even if there wasn't a maze, remembering where the traps were would be useful. 

“So once everything is ready, what's the plan?” Ouma asked as he leaned forward onto the table, somehow not being a complete ass for once.

“Hm…well, the first thing to do is think up what teams we can split up into. We already know that anyone who falls to a trap gets knocked out for some time and put back at the entrance. So, at the very least, we would need two teams, one to continue searching in the even the first team falls to a trap.” 

“And I volunteer to call the two teams Victims and Murderers!” Monokuma suggested as he once again popped up onto the table, getting his gross feet on everything again. 

“Aaaagh!?” screamed several ultimates, most of them being surprised at the bear’s sudden appearance. Which was kinda dumb, considering the bear was bound to show up at some point or another.

“None of us here are going to kill anyone!” Akamatsu immediately denied as she glared at Monokuma.

“Well it's not like I'm wrong~. I mean there are two separate teams, remember~? The ‘villagers’ and the ‘werewolves’~.” God, he had such a slimy voice.

“Good bearning!” shouted the monocubs as they popped up too, here to annoy everyone again.

“Yeah! Daddy is never wrong!” 

“Those wolves are gonna send you to hell!” 

“Wait, we have wolves here!?”

“Stop forgettin’ your lines!” 

“...”

“Stop trying to confuse us with those lies!” shot back an unyielding Akamatsu, her hands balled into fists by her waist. 

“Hm~? But I'm not lying~! There are two wolves here, and, for all you know, they already have their plans set in motion~.” 

“The more you insist on bringing up these wolves, the less likely it is that they are real,” Shinguji muttered, looking away from the bear. 

“And that's exactly what a wolf would say!” 

“Hm?” The pianist glanced back, his eyebrow up in visible confusion. 

“What? I'm just saying a wolf could be planning anything! Like, say, saying they aren't real, ooooor~,” Leaning toward Saihara, Monokuma’s smile widened. “Offering up an idea for a Map that they could tamper with~”

Instead of responding, the cosplayer just sank back into his chair, his face even paler at the bear’s insinuations.

“Stop trying to trick us!” Glaring at Monokuma too, Tenko yanked back Saihara’s chair away from the bear, earning a scared yelp from the twink. A surprisingly helpful move on her part, even if she made sure not to touch Saihara. Guess something triggered her protective instincts. “Why would you even bother say that any of us is a wolf? Aren’t you supposed to be their leader?” 

“Hm~? I thought it was obvious. I have to make the game fair, after all.” 

“Why does it matter to you if this is fair? You talk like that's important, but what point does it serve?” Unable to stop herself, Miu interrogated the bear, standing up to meet its line of sight.

“Isn't it obvious? A game is more despair inducing when it's fair.” Once again, the bear’s smirk widened. “If I stacked the odds too much against you, all of you would just give up and that wouldn't be any fun. But, if I make it even for both sides, then the despair you'll feel knowing you lost everything when you could have won would be amazing!” 

“Yeah, a game is only fun when it's fair!” 

“Unless it's against Monodam, in that case I always have to cheat!” 

“...”

“Though those games are always four to one so there's no need to cheat.”

“Just remember to have fun!” 

“Bullshit.” Miu leaned closer to Monokuma, joining Akamatsu and Chabashira in glaring at him. “You showed up here just to ‘make things fair’? How was it unfair before now?”

“Hm? What’s wrong? I thought a detective would like getting hints~? You know, like how serial killers like to send in letters to the police to make their games more fun? Of course, it doesn’t help the people they already murdered, but hey! Nobody really cares about the victims needed to set up the game, right~?”

“Says a lot about you that you’re fine with comparing yourself to a serial killer.”

“Well isn’t that the fun of werewolf-style games? Anybody can be anything~. Now, I don’t know if it’s exactly a classic position, but don’t some versions throw in little things like that~?” The bear smirked right back at her. “It’s all in the fun of it, you know~? Nobody knows what anyone is! So you gotta look for clues, see what people are up to, maybe notice little things like, saaaaaay...a certain someone waking up way later than everyone else~?”

...Well fuck. She really walked into that one…Shit. Shit, if she denied it, he’d keep going, and if she came clean, he’d just call her a fucking liar...fuck, she didn’t have anyone to back her up on the late night investigation…

“What~? Struck speechless now~? Didn’t think I’d go that far~?” Monokuma’s eye seemed to gleam. “Let me tell you all right now. The only thing I care about is that this game is fun and fair. If I have to screw over my own people to get that, I’ll do it in a heartbeat~.” He giggled for a moment, before looking out over everybody. “You know, I said there were two teams, but that was kind of a lie, wasn’t it?”

“W-What does that mean?” Shirogane suddenly asked. Fuck, Miu’d nearly forgotten she was there.

“Well, it’s more like there’s sixteen, right? See, the ‘innocents’ or ‘villagers’ or ‘clean’ or whatever you want to call them pretend that they’re all working together, but really, they all just want to win on their own, right? It doesn’t matter if you lose one or two innocents, because the team as a whole wins once they make it. Come on, think about it~! It’s a number’s game~! Can any of you really afford to not take this chance? One life for fifteen? Two lives for fourteen? Really, so long as more people win than lose, you’re doing a good thing, right~?”

“Stop talking!” Chabashira suddenly shouted, a disturbingly angry look on the caretaker’s face, “You’re just trying to confuse everyone! You can’t just excuse murder like that!”

“Hey, yeah! You need to shut up and get out of here!” Momota joined in, practically shoving his way forward to growl at the bear too. Somehow, he looked way less intimidating the pro-babysitter. Must be the hair. “We’re busy here, so get lost!”

“I don’t know, I think he makes some good points,” Ouma, of fucking course, spoke up. Miu glanced at him and saw him grinning at her, the little shit.

“What?! Are you crazy?!”

“Maybe the robot’s malfunctioning,” Shinguji offered. “We do have a mechanic that could take a look.”

“...Nyeh? No, I’m an inventor….I wouldn’t mess with someone else’s work like that…” Interesting to know, Yumeno, but not really helpful right now.

“B-Back to my point, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Momota finally said, his glare on Ouma instead of the actual big important asshole. The one that was actually keeping them there and all. “How the hell does anything he said have a point?!”

“Hm...well, to start, I would like to know why blonde and bitchy woke up so late. I never got a good reason for that, remember?” Ouma grinned at her again. “I’m getting a pretty strong feeling that your ‘insomnia’ explanation was a big, fat lie, emphasis on the fat.”

“First off, fuck you. Second off, go fuck yourself. And finally, I have no fucking intention of telling you whatever the fuck my sleep schedule is like, you fuck-faced ass cock,” Miu, very reasonably, replied.

Apparently that wasn’t the best way to respond, considering everyone was staring at her now.

“Language,” Yonaga suddenly chided her.

Miu blinked, before frowning at the cultist as Iidabashi mouthed the words ‘ass cock?’ out of the corner of her eye. “I’m not apologizing to him.”

Yonaga shrugged. “That is fine~. Just be more aware of everyone around you, please~. Kami-sama is understanding of your frustration, but crudeness isn’t needed here~.” 

She blinked again. That...hm.

“So did everyone just forget about Monokuma or something?” Hoshi asked, bringing everyone’s attention back to the bear patiently waiting for them. No, wait, impatiently waiting, considering how his foot was tapping on the table.

“Jeez! Finally! I’m giving my dramatic monologues and you brats sideline into some stupid comedy bit! Nobody wants humor in their crazy murder games!” the bear shouted, apparently not noticing his ‘kubs’ still standing around. “Ugh, jeez, how am I supposed to segue into my dramatic threats leading to someone dying as an example to the rest of you?”

“...What.”

“Oh you know, there's almost always someone who tries to stand up to me, and usually ends up stepping on me. Course, then I kill them off to show how serious I am. It's all routine really. I still remember the first time I did it! Some blonde bitch got all angry at poor little old me…wait was she blonde?” He tilted his head in confusion at his own question. “Was she the one I squished or speared to death?” As he continued to question his memory, the bear seemed to age before them as his apparent senility hit him. “Did I kill that redhead last game? Hrrmmm...” 

“Oh no! Daddy’s losing his mind again!”

“Again? Wait, when did that happen?” And in comes the unnecessary commentary...

“Gonta…Gonta doesn't care about your routine! He refuses to let you kill anyone!” An intense auru radiated off the giant butler as he glared down at Monokuma. 

“Ooo! There! That’s what I was looking for!” Monokuma’s smile suddenly looked way too sharp. “AN EXCUSE!”

“H-Hey, he hasn't done anything!” Miu shouted. No way she was going to let this fucker go after Gonta!

“Who cares! I need the killing to st-" 

“Monokuma-san, Gonta kindly asks that you get off the table. It is very improper.” Surprisingly calm despite his previous anger, Gonta stood tall and straight as he stared at Monokuma, the very image of a professional butler.

“...Huh?” The smile slipped right off the bear’s face as he met Gonta’s gaze. “...Seriously? You couldn't keep being all mad? Come on! I'm gonna turn into a blue bear at this rate!” 

“Hey! What’s wrong with that, pops?!” Monokid shouted, only to be ignored by both the bear and the butler.

“My apologies, but as Gonta said, he won't let you kill anyone. Even Gonta.”

“Oh, come oooooooooon!” Flopping down, Monokuma rolled off the table. He laid down on the ground, letting out a whine as he stared up at Gonta. “You just can't do that to a bear!” 

“Once again Gonta apologies.” As if to drive in the last nail, Gonta smiled at him. Ha! Best guy here!

“...Hmph. Fine, ruin my fun.” 

“HA! Great job Gonta!” Walking up to him, Momota slapped the butler on his back. “You showed him!” 

“At least he did something!” Monokuma shouted, immediately turning his glare on Momota. “Unlike you, Mr. Thumb-Up-His-Ass.” 

Thankfully, before Momota could react like an idiot, Gonta grabbed the tennis player’s shoulder, his tight grip on the guy keeping him still. Momota, thankfully, kept his mouth shut, though that might be because he was trying not to yelp.

“...Hmph, fine, whatever.” Staying on the ground, Monokuma rolled out of the dining hall.

“E-Eh? Wait, dad, what about the killing bit!?”

“H-Hey, yeah! We were supposed to do a whole thing!”

“Ack, we’re goin’ way off script now!” The kubs seemed to panic for a moment before running after him, scurrying away like a bunch of early morning kids’ show villains.

“...Well, at least he's gone.” Iidabashi muttered, letting out a breath he’d been holding in. 

“Thankfully.” Akamatsu sighed and rubbed her temples. “Everyone, I think it's best that we call it here for today. That being said, I'll make sure to inform everyone once Himiko finishes her flashlights.” 

“I'll do my best…” 

“But I still want to know what with Miss No-Insomnia!” 

“Kokichi.” 

“...Fiiiiine, I won't ask anymore. Even if it’s totally obvious that some people around here are keeping some pretty big secrets.” Ouma shot Miu another grin before he stood up and began to hum to himself as he walked out of the dining hall, a few people, like Momota and Harukawa, and wow that girl had been quiet that whole time, frowning at him as he went.

“Hm. We didn’t actually get around to doing much today, did we?” Tojo seemed to muse to herself as she wandered out too. Hm. She had a point though. Monokuma didn’t quite provoke them the way he wanted to, but he definitely fucked up the discussion they were all having.

Fuck it. Sighing, Miu began to rub her shoulders. The fucking stress of it all was starting to get to her. One thing was for sure, once she was out of here, she was going to take a very long vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, sorry for the long wait! Things and stuff have been happening. Hope this made up for the wait. 
> 
> Red: "We can't promise consistent updates, but we can do quality! Though seriously, thank you all for your patience and for reading our story."
> 
> I'll do my best to make sure the quality is sufficient. Speaking of quality content I have two stories to recommend. 
> 
> The first is an original story that a friend of ours recently uploaded for those looking for zero escape esque stories. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685171
> 
> And the second is a syoc Dr story that has an oc I submitted, Mia Algeria, the ultimate entrepreneur.   
>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504565


	9. Final Night of Peace

After that complete shitshow of a meeting, Miu once again began to wander around the school, putting aside her many fantasies of a vacation at a beach resort. For now, at least.

As much as she hated to admit it, there wasn't much that she could do to help out. She wasn't that handy in terms of building things, so she couldn't help Yumeno, and with how tense everyone was right now, no thanks the chessboard dispshit and bear crew, approaching anyone didn't seem like a good idea. 

Not to mention, napping was right out, since her own foul mood would only keep her up if she tried to sleep. 

“Why are all the problems in my life caused by robots...?” she grumbled to herself as she entered her room. She took out her notebook and slumped onto one of the chairs. Flipping through her notebook, she began to write down the new information she had and scratched out some of her old and inaccurate facts/theories.

Really, she was lucky that the complete assholes in charge here had left it on her. As good as her memory may be, having her knowledge written down somewhere helped her sort her thoughts faster. Not to mention, even if she were to lose it, her unique penmanship made sure no one would be able to read it, which was something she was quite grateful to have learned from her mentor. And it gave her an excuse to not bother trying to fix her penmanship. At least when she tried for police reports it was legible enough.

Smiling to herself, Miu closed the notebook and stared at the plain black cover. Helping her sort out her thoughts aside, the notebook just helped keep her calm. After all, it was one of the first gifts she got from her mentor. 

….huh…first gift… 

Miu blinked. That...didn’t seem right.

Opening the notebook to the first page, Miu read the first ever thing written in there. 

The only thing there was info about Gonta…someone she only just met… _years_ after she got this notebook… 

Why wasn't there anything else written in here? It was clearly the exact same gift she’d gotten years ago, one that she definitely remembered writing in, but it was totally blank aside from what she’d written in the past few days. There wasn’t even any hint that her old notes could have been erased, and this was definitely her notebook...

Miu grit her teeth and held her head, clutching at her temple. She could feel her head begin to throb as a massive migraine hit her. It didn't make sense. 

None of this made sense. _Nothing_ here made sense.

How could there have been multiple games before now without her hearing about all the disappearing people? Wouldn’t there be some hint of reports? 

Why didn’t her notebook have any previous cases or info in it? 

...Why couldn't she rem- 

And before she could finish that thought, there was a bright flash of light.

…

…

…

…

As always, Miu found herself quite thankful that she’d bought herself a new journal right before she’d been kidnapped. As much as she wanted to hold onto the one her mentor had given to her as a gift, it had been completely full, making it somewhat pointless in the current scheme of things. Ah well, at least she had something to put her thoughts down in. 

Pocketing her notebook, Miu glanced at the clock, a bit surprised at the time. 

“...Fuck, I really zoned out there.” Sighing as she rubbed her head, Miu stood up and went to her room’s door, opening it up only to be greeted by the sight of Chabashira standing right in front of her.

“A-Ah, I-Iruma-san, Tenko is glad to see you.”

“Huh? Did you need something Chabashira?” 

“O-Oh, no. Tenko was just wondering if you were okay. That Menace was quite rude to you earlier.” 

“Eh, it'll take more than that to affect me. Thanks for checking up on me anyways.” Smiling at the caretaker, Miu gestured into her room. “You want to come in? It's kinda weird to talk in the doorway.” 

“H-Huh!?” Chabashira’s eyes went wide and she took a step back, a blush on her face. “You want me to come in?” Wow, she was really easy to fluster.

“Yeah?” Miu smirked at her and leaned forward. “Don’t worry, I don't bite~.” Heh.

Of course, her words just served to make Chabashira blush harder, her face an adorable shade of pink at Miu’s deliberately flirty tone. She wasn’t particularly interested in the caretaker, but it was fun to get her all blushy. 

“U-Um...o-okay! Thank you for offering, Iruma-san!” Chabashira suddenly bowed to her. Okay, her earnestness was kind of cute. 

Miu moved to the side to let Chabashira enter, studying the caretaker as she looked around her bedroom. Chabashira’s face was still a little pink and she seemed to be avoiding looking at Miu, which was kinda hilarious. Well, at very least, she'd be able to pass the time teasing Chabashira.

“Feel free to sit wherever,” Miu said, taking the desk chair for herself. That gave the caretaker pause and she seemed to frown a little as she looked around Miu’s room for a place to sit. 

“Um…” After a while, Chabashira finally took the larger, more comfy chair and turned it around to better face Miu, though she seemed pretty uncomfortable in it. Hm. Maybe she wasn’t used to sitting in padded chairs?

“So, what have you been up to lately?” Miu asked.

“H-Huh? Tenko hasn’t been-Oh, you mean-...T-Tenko has been...doing things.” Wow. This girl would be completely fucked if she ever saw the inside of interrogation room.

“You doing okay there? You seem nervous.”

“Ah, Tenko isn’t nervous! Tenko is just…”

Miu could practically see the gears turning as Chabashira tried to come up with something. After about a full minute of silence, she decided to take pity on the awkward dork.

“So, you’re a child caretaker, right? How’s that job going for you?”

Chabashira blinked, then actually seemed to sag with relief at the subject change. “O-Oh, it’s going really well! The job, Tenko means, the child caring job! Tenko really loves getting to see happy children and making sad children happier is just great!”

“I can imagine,” Miu replied, honestly smiling. “So, how does the job work? Do you usually work at, say, a daycare thing, or is more like you work for a specific family at a time?”

“It’s sort of both, actually! Tenko goes wherever Tenko is needed. Sometimes that means she helps out at orphanages and fixes things around there for the kids, other times it means she works for one family at a time,” she explains, “Kids have always really liked Tenko for some reason, so she just embraced her talent! Everyone needs some help every now and then, and children really need love and affection or else they can turn out really bad!”

“Oh? Like how?”

“Well, children with distant or absent parents tend to have a lot of issues later in life because they try looking for affection in bad places, so Tenko tries to provide that when she can! She’s very set on making sure all of her kids feel very appreciated and know that they can call on her whenever they need! Kids are influenced by their parents and other adults, so its up to Tenko to make sure they have a good role model in life and don’t start falling for some really bad ideas, like joining up with cults or harassing women!”

Miu raised an eyebrow at that last comment. There definitely was a story there, one that probably had to do with Chabashira’s pretty blatant distaste for men in general. “Well, it sounds like you’re doing good work.”

Chabashira beams. “Tenko certainly thinks so! Children are the future, so we need to make sure they all turn out good and don’t become menaces!”

“To society in general or should they just not be men?”

Oddly, Chabashira’s smile dropped at that. “...Society as it is right now...Tenko wouldn’t mind if it was changed. Menaces are a part of the problem, but most of them are made from society. So Tenko wouldn’t mind if her kids decided to change things when they get older. She’d be more worried if they wanted society to stay exactly the same.”

“...Huh.” Miu considered things for a moment, then decided to be honest. “I didn’t expect you to be an anarchist.”

“What? Oh, no, Tenko isn’t an anarchist! She would just like things to be better!”

“And if that involves tearing down society and building it back up so it would be better?” Miu asked. She really didn’t expect Chabashira to have this kind of side to her, but...hm. Guess you can’t judge a book by the first page.

Chabashira frowned a little, her hands perfectly still in her lap as she thought it over. “...Tenko would be fine with that. What do you think, Iruma-san?”

Miu hummed, tapping her pen against her lips. “I think I’d be fine with it too. If society’s not working for the people, then it failed and we should try again. Learn from the past to make a brighter future and all that.”

“Exactly!” Chabashira beamed, her smile wide and eager. “We all need to be working to help each other out! Selfishness doesn’t help anyone!”

“Heh. Well, I think everyone’s a little selfish at heart,” Miu replied, shrugging. “It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to be selfless, but self-interest is kinda a big influencer on people.”

“Ah...yeah, that is true...Still! There’s such a thing as being too self-interested!”

“Oh, no argument there. If you’re at the point where you’d rather fuck someone else over for your own gain, you’re a piece of shit, no question.”

Huh. Chabashira seemed to perk up again at her words there. “Yes, exactly! You get it! You get what Tenko means!”

“Heh, glad we’re on the same page then,” Miu replied, grinning back. Her cheerfulness was definitely infectious.

After that interesting discussion, the two of them lapsed back into more casual conversation. Chabashira told Miu about some of the kids she looked after and Miu offered little anecdotes from her own life. She wasn’t quite at the point of sharing some of the cases she’d been on with Chabashira, but she had a good time anyway. 

“Thank you for spending time talking with me, Iruma-san.” Chabashira smiled at Miu and bowed deeply again as she was about to head out.

“Heh, no problem. It was pretty fun.” Miu replied as she smiled back and opened the door. Then paused.

Out in the main area of the dorms, the two of them were greeted by the sight of Akamatsu helping Yumeno walk to her room, the small inventor clutching her hand. “Huh? Hey, what's going on?” 

“....nyeh.” 

“Oh! Miu, Tenko, hello there,” Akamatsu said, “It’s nothing to worry about. Monokuma just decided to scare Himiko, and she hurt herself when she was startled.” Huh. So the bear boss was trying to fuck up the flashlight project?

“I wasn't afraid!” 

“Of course not.” Ah, maybe don’t smile like that, Akamatsu. You look really condescending... “But either way, it'll be best if Himiko just focuses on recovering. If she tries to finish the flashlights like this, she might just hurt herself again.” The inventor was visibly sulking at Akamatsu’s words by that point. She very clearly didn’t like being treated like an invalid.

“A-Ah… um, if Yumeno-san doesn't mind, Tenko knows how to take care of injuries.”

“It’s not that bad…” muttered Yumeno, still pouting. 

“Even if it isn't, we shouldn't risk aggravating it,” Akamatsu replied. “If you don't mind, Tenko, can you come with us?” 

“O-Of course!” Little too eager there, Chaba...

“Just make sure to take it easy okay, Yumeno?” Miu spoke up, internally grimacing. It...probably wouldn’t be a complete disaster. Despite Yumeno’s continued grumbling, the other two ultimates led her into her room, leaving Miu alone with her many thoughts.

Of course, now that she was alone, she didn't have much to do. It didn't help that any plans to explore the trap tunnel would be delayed now. Sighing, Miu rubbed the back of her head as she walked out of the dorm building. Time to find another thing to help pass time. 

Thankfully, a new distraction quickly displayed itself in the form of the former ultimate of the group. Sitting down at a table that was set up at the outdoor patio was the erstwhile astronaut, Ryoma Hoshi, who seemed to be lost in thought. 

“Yo, Hoshi, how goes?” 

“Hm?” Glancing over, the former astronaut noticed Miu. “Hey there Iruma. Nothing’s happening.”

“In that case, you mind if I sit with you?” 

“If you want to. Can’t guarantee I'll be much of a conversation partner.” 

“Sitting in silence is better than sitting alone,” responded Miu as she sat down across from him. 

“Heh. I can agree with you on that.” 

And so the two sat in silence for some time, staring at whatever the fuck. At least until Hoshi broke it. 

“...Tell me the truth. You think I'm suspicious, right?” 

“Huh?” Miu glanced over at Hoshi, raising a curious eyebrow.

“No need to hide it. Way I see it, I'm probably one of the more suspicious people here. I am the only former ultimate, after all.” 

“Thinking you're suspicious just because you were in an accident is kinda idiotic.” Though that didn’t mean he wasn’t suspicious for other reasons. And the whole ‘former ultimate’ thing really did make him stand out, though not really any more than the other odder members of their little group. Even if he wasn't in much of a physical state to kill someone, there was plenty of reason to suspect him. Hell, being less suspicious just made him more suspicious, oxymoronic as that was.

“Hm…well, I can’t help what people think of me. Still, even if saying this is suspicious in and of itself, I would never work with someone like whoever kidnapped us.” 

“Heh, thanks for the telling me. It really clears up any doubts I might’ve had,” she replied, her voice practically bleeding sarcasm.

“Hmph,” he huffed, side-eyeing her. “Well, even if you still don't trust me, I'll help however I can. Just don't rely on me when it comes to something physical.”

“Yeah, sure. I won’t ask you to get anything off a high shelf.” ...Wait, shit. Miu sat up, immediately looking back at Hoshi and flinching at his stony gaze. “...Sh-Shit, uh, s-sorry. I, uh...sometimes my mouth and my brain...s-s-sorry.”

He just kept staring at her.

“...W-Well don’t just look at me! L-Look, I’m sorry! That was way out of line, and I’m really sorry I said it!” She turned to face him fully, trying to look as contrite as possible. “That was completely my fuck up and I’m really really sorry!”

“...Wow. You crack really easily.” ...Huh?

Hoshi rolled his eyes and slouched back in his chair. “You really think you’re the first person in my life to make a short joke?”

“...Uh...w-wait, so you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m definitely mad. I’m just used to it.”

Miu cringed. “Ah...I-I’m r-really sorry, again.”

He shrugged. “Eh. At least you didn’t make a cripple joke.” He glanced at her. “It was just a short joke, right?”

“Y-Yes! Totally! I didn’t, that wasn’t-I-I’m really sorry! I just, I did say that without thinking!”

Hoshi sighed. “And?”

“...Um...and I’m really sorry?”

“You already said that.” He sat up, sighing again. “Iruma, I want you to think for a minute. If you insulted someone without thinking, it was because insulting them was automatic for you.”

“...” ...Well, shit. She...didn’t actually know what to say to that.

Hoshi stared at her for a moment, then suddenly nodded and sat back again. “Think about it. We can try talking again when you do.”

“...Y-Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” Miu stood up, still grimacing a little at her own stupidity. “...Uh…”

“You don’t need to apologize again. Just think about it.”

“...Yeah. Uh, see you around?”

“Sure.”

Miu nodded, then walked off in a completely random direction, desperately trying not to think about how badly she just fucked that whole interaction up. Still...he did say they could give it another shot, so...Ugh, fuck, she needed to do some thinking but she really didn’t want to…

Fuck, she needed something else to distract herself with. 

Sadly, after that fuck up of a conversation, she didn't feel much like talking with anyone. So she just spent her time walking around. Mainly within the warehouse. With how massive it was, she hadn't been able to properly search it when it was dark. 

Not that there was anything to search anyways. Aside from some sports equipment, nothing was that dangerous in there. Even the medicine on one set of shelves wasn't strong enough to do anyone any harm. Unless they were a mild cold, maybe.

Though, in a large enough dose, anything could be a problem. 

Miu sighed and decided to call it for the day. It was getting kind of late and she really didn’t feel like cataloguing every single box of shit up on the warehouse shelves...Speaking of, they really needed to get a ladder in here or something. Maybe move the one from the library? Hm.

Miu mused over her newest conundrum as she headed back to the dorms. She saw a few of the other captives around as she walked, like Tojo staring at the walls again and Iidabashi reading some book on the front steps, but she was all talked out for today. She really didn’t feel like alienating anyone else…

Of course, it seemed like luck was a bitch that evening, considering she was immediately greeted by the sight of Akamatsu, Gonta, and Momota standing near the entrance of the dorms.

“-for the offer, but I don’t think I will. I really do appreciate the offer though.” Akamatsu seemed to be turning them down for something. Hm. Two muscled dudes and one busty blonde. Hmm.

“Ah, it’s fine! The offer’s still open if you ever want to join us!” Hmmmmm… “Oi, Iruma!” greeted Momota as he waved to her. “Do you want to join me and Gonta for some night exercising?” Oh, so that was it. 

“I'm good.” Even if she wasn't annoyed by Momota’s...everything, the ass-kicking she got the day before was more than enough exercise for her for at least a few days. “Kinda tired, so I'm calling it a night.”

“Ah, in that case, have a good night, Iruma-san.” Smiling at her, Gonta bowed before walking off with Momota, who turned and waved to both of them as he went. 

“See you in the morning then! The offer still stands if you change your mind!” 

“I'm glad to see that they're still energetic,” muttered Akamatsu, then she raised a hand in greeting. “Hello, Miu. Just so you know, Himiko will be taking the night off to rest so her injury gets better.” 

“Huh. Well, I can’t blame her for that. Besides, if it's something that'll get better after a night, it's totally fine. Last thing we need is for someone to be seriously injured.” 

“HEY!” A sudden, high-pitched voice shouted from behind Miu.

“EAGH!” she shrieked, whirling around to face...to stare down at the _complete fucking asshole behind her._

“Who's seriously injured?” Ouma, the checker-print prick, asked, as though he hadn’t just shrieked in her ear.

“What the hell!? Don't fucking do that to people! How the fuck did you even get behind me?!”

“Stealth mode, duh.” What. “But, more importantly, who's injured?” 

“Himiko is, Kokichi, but she's not seriously injured,” Akamatsu explained, somehow still calm in the face of ear rending agony. “It's just a cut on her hand.” 

“Huh? Then why were you two talking about someone being seriously injured? Seriously, you shouldn't do that sorta thing! People will get worried over nothing!” 

“It’s hard to believe you’d be worried about anyone,” Miu shot back, scowling at the little shit.

“Gasp! So cruel! Just because my heart is metal doesn’t mean it doesn’t beat!” Ouma actually looked wounded for a second before smirking. “Besides, you meatbags can’t fix yourselves if you break your fingers holding a pencil or whatever it is you do.”

“Glad to know you’re so fucking concerned.”

“What can I say? I feel pity for you poor pathetic flesh sacks. Well, pity for all of you aside from the dastardly killers we have hiding around here. By the way, have you made any progress on that, detective?” That smile was really starting to piss her off.

“Why should I? I’m not interested in playing the bear bitch’s game.”

“Really? Even when there are murderers in our midst? Even when somebody could die if you don’t?”

“Why do you think someone’s about to die?” Akamatsu cut in, her brow furrowed in concern.

“Why do I think? Why do you think? Thinking is just what people do. Though, I guess when you have more flesh than brains-”

“Get to the point, prick,” Miu interrupted.

Ouma just kept on smiling. “You should know, detective. Shouldn’t you? Come on, tell us why somebody might die soon!”

“I’m not playing along with you!” she snapped back.

“Aw, mean! Fine, I guess I have to say it. The mastermind wants us to kill each other, so they did the werewolf thing to get us to kill each other.”

“Yeah, like that wasn’t fucking obvious.”

“If it was obvious, why aren’t you doing anything to stop it?”

“Do you seriously think anyone here is going to commit murder?” Sure, Miu had a few concerns, but fuck it if she was going to agree with this prick.

“I think you’re an idiot if you don’t think that,” Ouma retorted, his tone snide and condescending. “Come on, you’re supposed to be the detective! You should be out there looking for clues and stuff to point to who the most suspicious ones are!”

“You and Amami.”

Ouma blinked, his mouth slowly closing. “...Oh?”

Miu shrugged. She said it, so might as well commit. “I’m skeptical of Amami because he’s the only one of us with such thorough amnesia. That sets him apart from everyone else, which makes him suspicious. We’re all people with very different personalities and backgrounds, so it does make sense that there _would be_ differences. Quirks of personality, physical differences. What makes it weird is that we have things in common.

“All of us are ultimates. All of us cannot remember how we were actually brought here. _Most_ of us can remember our lives and talents before the point that we were abducted. Amami is the only outlier there, so it makes him stand out. That makes him suspicious.”

“...Huh. And what about me then?” Ouma had stopped smiling. His expression was pretty neutral. Which might be significant, considering the whole robot thing.

“You’re a robot.”

“...Wow. Racist much?”

Miu sighed, deliberately drawing it out to show just how fucking annoyed she was right now. “No, dipshit. You are literally the only robotic member of our group. Everyone else is human. And your talent is Ultimate Robot. That’s fucking weird.”

“Yeah, still racist.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why is Robot a talent? It’s your species. It’s weird that you are defined by being a robot. There’s no such thing as the Ultimate Human, for example.”

She held up a hand to stop him from interrupting. “ _Plus_ , you’re an asshole. An obnoxious, grating asshole who only seems interested in provoking as many people as possible. Now, I want _you_ to think this time. Who the fuck do we have around here that is robotic, has a monochrome color scheme, and deliberately tries to piss off as many people as possible?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m completely monochrome.” Ouma gestures to his hair. “See?”

“...You get my fucking point.”

He shrugged. “Sure, I get it. You’re suspicious of me like I’m suspicious of you, because I _still_ haven’t gotten a good explanation for why you woke up so much later than everyone else.”

“It was two days ago, asshole! Let it go!”

“No, I don’t think I will.” He suddenly smirked again. “Were you spending time in the library, by any chance?”

“Huh?” Both of them paused, and looked at Akamatsu. Ah. Right, she was still here. “Wait, you two know about that?”

“...”

“...”

Miu and Ouma looked at each other for a moment, before Miu looked back at Akamatsu. “...Okay, Akamatsu, are you referring to the one...thingy?”

She blinked, before nodding slowly. “Yes, I do. I found the...thingy while looking through the library.”

“Because it was obvious as shit?”

“...That’s not how I would phrase it, but yes.”

Miu nodded too, then looked at Ouma. “So.”

“So? What, you want me to just take her at her word?”

“Do you want us to take you at yours?”

“Nope! Being skeptical is always better than just following along with everyone else.” Ouma grinned. “Still, to think Akamatsu would let something like that slip so easily...You’re kind of a loose woman, huh?”

“What?!”

“Ooookay, enough of that,” Miu interrupted, stepping between Akamatsu and Ouma. Wait. When the fuck did she become the peacekeeper here? Fuck it, roll with it. “So, we clearly all have certain things that we know about-”

“The secret passage behind the bookcase.” ...Little fucking-

“ _Yes_ , that. That thing.”

“Which you haven’t done anything about because…?”

“Because fuck you.” She sighed, trying to ignore her building headache. “Okay, look. Clearly there’s shit we need to talk about. _However_. I’m not in any kind of fucking mood to interact you, checker-prick, so we’re putting a fucking pin in this shit. Akamatsu, you’re good if we talk about this later, right?”

“...I guess so, yes. Kokichi, is it okay if we discuss what we know in the morning?”

“Aw, what? Right as we get to the interesting part?”

“Yeah, you’re getting blue-balled. Deal with it.” Wait, would he even have a dick? ...Questions for later.

Ouma sighed, long and dramatically and probably unnecessarily because he was a fucking robot. “Fine, I can see when I’m not wanted. I’ll just do some investigating of my own since our detective is so incompetent.”

Miu grit her teeth, but held herself back. Think about it. “Fine. Share whatever the fuck you find with me. We can compare notes.”

“Oh wow, that was almost friendly. Ha, are you trying to act like we’re friends now? Maybe get all tsundere for me? Oh I-Iruma, I didn’t write these notes for you, I swear!”

“...Fuck it, I tried. Akamatsu, you deal with this shit.”

“Ha! Ah, you’re so easy! Though, considering how you dress, you’d have to be.”

“Not listening, going to bed, go eat your own ass.” She promptly turned for her door and started walking.

“See you in the morning, Irumaaaa!” Ouma grinned and waved at her, before smirking. “Do try to be interesting for me, okay? Thematically fun as it would be to have two blonde werewolves, I hope you’re not that boring. Oh, and same to you Akamatsu. Kind of. I guess.”

He shrugged, ignoring both of their glares, before grinning again. “Try not to die in your sleep, meatbags!” And then he turned and walked out of the dorm. Like an asshole.

“...I’ll see you in the morning, Miu,” Kaede said, turning and giving her a little smile and wave.

Miu halfheartedly raised her hand in response, already opening up her door. “Yeah, see you. Hope your night goes better with that fuckwad around.”

“It’s not how I would phrase it, but I wish the same for you,” she replied.

Miu chuckled, then promptly shoved her door closed, kicked off her boots, and flopped right down onto her bed, just in time for the nighttime announcement. Fuck going over her notes again, she was just done with today.

Burying her head in the pillows, she did her best to ignore the bears. Thankfully, she was actually able fall asleep pretty quickly. One good point there.

One nice and peaceful slumber later, she woke up and promptly got ready for the new day. Falling asleep in her clothes was kind of gross and she really needed a nice fucking shower after all that shit. 

Her morning routine went by kind of interestingly because she didn’t hear a peep from the bitch bears on the monitor at all. Maybe she slept through it again? Hm. Still, clean, refreshed, and well fucking dressed, Miu Iruma was ready for the day once again!

“...Shit.” Miu stared up at the early morning sky as the bear’s announcement just then came on. So. She woke up earlier than she should have. Fuck.

...Well fuck it. She was awake and she was hungry. To the kitchen!

A short walk later, Miu had reached the dining room once again. Right as Momota was leaving it, actually.

“Oh hey, Iruma! You’re up early!” he greeted, sounding way too awake for Miu’s liking. Granted, she was pretty awake too, but that was clearly unnatural for her. What the fuck was his excuse?

“Yeah, I noticed. So what’s going on in Momota-land today?”

“Momota-land? Oh, you’re asking what I’m doing. Right?” She stared at him for a minute, his earnest expression not changing in the slightest, before she nodded. “I decided I shouldn’t waste time just waiting around for everyone to get here! There are tons of better things I could be doing than just sitting, so I’m headed to the warehouse to look for exercise equipment! I think I saw a box of weights in there...Oh yeah, do you want to come with?”

“...No thanks.”

“You sure? Early in the morning is a great time to get a workout! You get your blood pumping and then you’re awake all day!” ...Gods save her from muscle-headed idiots. Still, there was an easy way out of this.

“No, I’m good. I should get breakfast before doing anything like that anyway.”

“Oh yeah! You definitely shouldn’t try working out on an empty stomach! You would wind up losing your energy really quickly-”

“Yeah, thanks for understanding, see you later,” Miu rapidly replied, stepping around him and into the dining room.

“Sure, I’ll see you around! Come find me if you ever want to work out!” Well, can’t fault his enthusiasm…

Akamatsu and Yonaga were already in the dining room when Miu entered. It didn’t look like anyone else was around, though there were some noises coming from the kitchen. That probably meant Gonta was up and cooking again. Big guy was really nice like that.

“-and on Wednesdays, Angie’s people often have-Oh, a very good morning to you, Miu~! Angie sees Kami-sama has graced us with your presence on this most beauteous of days~!” ...Right.

“Hi Yonaga, hey Akamatsu,” Miu replied as she walked over to the table a took a seat by Akamatsu. Their ‘glorious’ leader didn’t exact smile gratefully at her, but she did seem to relax almost imperceptibly. Almost. “So what are you two talking about?” And then she tensed again. Heh.

“Angie was simply explaining to Kaede the various rituals that her people often partake in~!”

“Huh. Fun. I thought you needed to give blood to get that going?”

“Oh no, the blood offerings are to hear the divine word of Kami-sama~. Angie is merely sharing details of her home~!”

“Fuckin’ A. So, you don’t mind-”

“Language.”

“...Right, my bad. So, yeah, you don’t mind if I borrow Akamatsu for a minute?”

“Oh~? Why do you need to borrow Kaede~? Could we not say what you wish to say right here and now~?”

“Nah. We decided to compare tit sizes and I doubt Kaede wants to flaunt her shi-stuff in the middle of the dining room.” Huh. Akamatsu didn’t react that one. Either she’s getting used to Miu’s particular brand of humor, or she’s just not embarrassed by stuff like that.

“...” Yonaga blinked, tilting her head a little, then smiled again. “Do not worry, Kami-sama accepts all, no matter their preferences~! Though Angie would not mind if you wanted to move such activities to another room~.”

“Sweet. Okay, come on Akamatsu-”

“Though she would also like to know what you’re actually doing~.”

“...” Miu glanced at Akamatsu. “...Well, you’re the ‘leader’ here.”

Akamatsu frowned for a moment and looked right at Angie. “...Angie, I’m going to trust you right now. Please, keep this a secret for now.” Hm. Well, at least she could keep an eye on Yonaga to see how she reacted to the bookcase thing. “Miu and I discovered-”

Miu and Akamatsu both flinched as the door to dining room suddenly slammed shut. Angie didn’t seem bothered, but that didn’t really fucking matter at the moment. 

Miu turned and frowned, glaring at Momota as he leaned on the door, his chest heaving as his breath came in quick pants. Huh. He looked freaked out. That was clearly panic, not exertion… “Hey, Momota. The fuck happened?”

“Language.”

“...Hey, Momota, the flip happened?”

“H-Huh? Oh, right, you’re all here...nothing!” He tried to grin and failed miserably. “Nothing happened at all! I just...was running in the halls! Getting exercise and, uh...flaunting the rules! Like a badass!”

“...” Miu didn’t need to look to know Akamatsu and Yonaga were also incredibly unimpressed by Momota’s attempted bravado. “So, Momota, what happened?”

“Huh? H-Hey! I just said nothing happened!”

Miu stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Momota. What freaked you out?”

“Nothing! I mean, I’m not freaked out! Just...feeling the burn!”

“Kaito, please.” Akamatsu stood too, frowning. Though she seemed a lot more concerned and a lot less done with his shit. “We need to know if something bad has happened.”

“Nothing’s happened! R-Really! Nothing! We’re all good here!”

“So it was in the warehouse,” Miu said.

“What?! How’d you know?!”

“You literally just came from there.”

“...Oh. Right.”

“So, what? Did you find a broken racket on the floor or something?”

“Hey! Don’t joke about that...A-Anyway, it’s fine! Nothing’s going wrong and the school definitely isn’t haunted!” ...What?

“The school’s haunted?” Akamatsu repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“What?! No! I said the opposite of that!”

“So, what, you saw a ghost in the warehouse or something?”

“NO! I didn’t! I didn’t see anything! There was nothing to see!”

“So you heard it.”

“W-How do you keep doing that?!”

“Detective.” Also, damn. He had a shit poker face when he was scared. Phasmophobia was no joke, apparently.

“R-Right, that...Look, okay, so...maybe I did hear….s-something, that, um...s-sounded like a girl’svoicemoaninginthehorribleagonyofdeath-”

“Hold up.” Miu frowned. “A girl’s voice? Like someone was hurt?”

“Maybe?! I-I checked around though and no one was around and the voice was coming from above me and I just-”

“Okay, Momota, take a breath.” Miu frowned. It probably wasn’t a good sign if he was hearing voices, right? Hm. Maybe she should check if they have medicine for schizophrenia...though, on the other hand, if he really did hear a voice...Well, it didn’t rule out schizophrenia, but it did mean there could be a deeper thing going on here. Maybe someone set up a prank or something?

Miu nodded to herself. “Okay, I’m gonna check out the warehouse.”

“What!? No way! You can’t go in there!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s haunted! Do you know what a ghost could do in a huge room full of stuff like that?!”

“...I think you’re thinking of a poltergeist there. Anyway, I’ll just check to see if there really is a voice in there. If there is, we can try blocking off the warehouse or something. Unless anybody knows how to do exorcisms around here...Yonaga?”

“Of course~! The divine light of Kami-sama shall protect all faithful from those lost children who have wandered from Their divine grace~!”

“...Cool, you’re on the ghost-hunting squad then. Akamatsu, you wanna come with or are you hanging here to comfort Momota?”

“H-Hey! I don’t need to be comforted! I-In fact, I can totally handle...g-going, um, back. B-Because there definitely isn’t a ghost there!”

Miu stared at Momota, genuinely wondering if there was something up with his brain, then looked back at Akamatsu. “So, you coming with?”

“Hm...No, I think I’ll stay here. Someone needs to keep Gonta company. I should be here to greet everyone when they get here for the meeting too.”

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Okay, Yonaga, Momota, you’re with me. Go ghost-hunting squad!” She grinned, pumping her fists. Momota and Yonaga just stared at her, confused and politely neutral, respectively. 

The lack of response was kind of a damper, but fuck it. This was her first case, sort of, in this place, so might as well have fun with it.

A quick walk brought them to the warehouse and Miu outright kicked the door in.

“GYAH! W-Why did you do that!?”

“Because it was fun! Duh! Come on, we’re trying to find a ghost. Have some fun with this, Shaggy.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, Angie wonders who she would be in that case~.” Huh. So Yonaga just went up a notch in her book while Momota was currently dropping.

Anyway, the warehouse didn’t seem to different than normal...no, wait, there was kind of a noise. Hm. There was also something else off that she couldn't quite put her finger on. “Hey, Momota, you said the noise was coming from above you, right?”

“Uh, y-yeah. F-Further in.” She glanced back at him as he stood in the doorway. 

“You gonna come in or just tease it?”

“O-Oh, uh...y-you know, I think I can see a lot of the room from right here, so I think I can just see what happens from here? Though don’t worry! If anything happens, I’ll definitely come in to help you out!” ...He meant well. Don’t get annoyed.

“Oh~? Kaito, did you spill something~?”

“Huh?” Miu glanced over at Yonaga, who had just wandered into the warehouse while the two of them were talking. The explorer was squatting by a big wooden box where some blue liquid was leaking out. Hm.

“N-No, I didn’t...W-Wait, d-did the ghost do that?!” ...What.

“What?”

Momota looked like he was a second away from bolting again. “G-Ghosts do stuff l-like that, right? L-Like leaving e-ectoplasm everywhere...o-oh g-god I shouldn’t be back here!”

“...Yeah, just stay over there for a second, okay? I’m gonna see what-Hey!” Miu walked over to Yonaga and yanked her finger out of her mouth. “Don’t taste the ghost jizz!”

“Miu, would you please let go of Angie~? Your grip is hurting her~.” Oh, right. 

“Just don’t start licking up more of it.”

Yonaga idly rubbed her wrist once Miu let go of it, tilting her head in thought again. “Hmm...Angie does not think you need to worry, Miu~. This liquid tastes like warm milk, so she does not think it is dangerous~.”

“...Hm. Okay, that answers...nothing.” Miu glanced at the box. Something didn’t feel right. The little voice still sounding out in some light, airy noise definitely didn’t help shit. “Why the fuck would a box of sports equipment be leaking?”

“Perhaps someone threw a container in it~?”

“Yeah, maybe.” What the fuck could be leaking blue liquid anyway?

Miu walked over to the box, making sure to step around the wide puddle. Inside of it were a bunch of tennis balls and what looked like a couple shot putts. Hm.

She glanced back at the bins near the front. Those had been full of tennis balls before, right? Hm. 

Miu started digging through the tennis balls, dropping them on the floor as her bad feeling continued to grow.

“H-Hey, what are you doing? You really shouldn’t bend over in a skirt like-”

“Momota, shut it.” Miu grimaced as she stood up and dropped a blue-soaked shot putt to the ground. In the middle of the box, buried under a ton of sports equipment, was the heavily smashed up body of the check-print prick, his half-crushed face permanently stuck in a horrific parody of a smile. 

“...So Ouma’s dead.”

\------------

??? Theater. 

A light shines down on a cracked stage. A human outline is drawn onstage. 

_The human mind is both weak and strong. That is to say, while it can be trained to endure several hardships, something simple and small can easily break it._

_For example, something that shouldn't exist, now exists. Or, in some cases, something that should no longer does, or never did in the first place._

_The more you believe in something, the bigger the shock when it becomes false._

_But even so, people persevere, finding one way or another to continue._

The lights turn off as the curtains close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this an early-ish upload! Outrageous! Oh and ouma's dead I guess. I wonder who did it.
> 
> Red: 'Well, technically last upload was in June, so you could say we're doing a monthly thing. Also yeah, first death. Woo! Stay tuned to see how that all turns out!'
> 
> Hopefully it's faster than monthly. Anyways I do also have some news! I'm thinking of maybe starting a discord server for anyone who's reading this, though the server wont just be about the story. Anyways if people seem interested I might make it and then link the discord. Hope you enjoyed the story!

**Author's Note:**

> Never thought I woupd write a talent swap fic but here we are. Anyways this will mainly be a side project for when i need a breather with dr world. Most of the cast will show up next chapter so feel free to guess their talents.
> 
> Red: Wonder if this counts as completing some kind of trifecta of Danganronpa fics. We have the oc fic, the post-game (well, during game) fic, and now a talent swap. 
> 
> Seems like, anyways I will most likely be doing fte's and since it seems the way to do it is with voting, feel free to vote and leave a comment at the same time! Either that or a kudos is fine


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